Then, One Day, It Clicks
The Importance of Setting Strong, Healthy Boundaries
“If you love yourself, it doesn’t matter if other people don’t like you because you don’t need their approval to feel good about yourself.” ~Lori Deschene
I spent my whole life trying to please other people. I would put myself through stress and discomfort to fit in with what they wanted or needed. I would rarely feel confident enough to communicate what I wanted because when I did, I would be met with frustration or anger, and I’d often come away feeling stupid.
When I was growing up, I would feel my emotions very strongly, so a lot of …
What Migraines Have Taught Me About Being Vulnerable
“Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.” ~Brené Brown, Daring Greatly
Migraines. I’ve had them since I was five years old. Sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re really bad. But I have them.
When I was five, I had electrodes placed on my skull to do an EEG. I didn’t understand the name, so I called it a “sleepy EG” since they put me to sleep to do it.
Back then, I didn’t realize how chronic pain could interfere with my daily life. I just knew that I was getting my sleepy EG.
It …
Healing from Chronic Fatigue: The Amazing Impact of Self-Compassion
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama
In my mid-thirties, my active and adventuresome life as a broadcast journalist collapsed. It began with a trauma, followed by flu-like symptoms that stuck around for thirteen years. Almost overnight, I lost the pep to walk around the block, much less file reports for the evening news.
A battery of doctors diagnosed me with chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), among other diagnoses. They said I’d have to live this way since there was no reliable cure. I became one of the …
How I Changed My Life by Becoming a Thought Snob
“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world. ~Wayne Dyer
Driving home from another visit to the pediatrician, Mother reiterated how puny I was: “You’re just like Mommy. She was so frail. You get sick easily.” I’d say I was five years old when I wholeheartedly accepted this hogwash as fact. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you I stayed sick for three decades because I truly believed I was prone to illness.
I come from a long line of women who never got what they wanted. They settled, conformed, and were …
The Breakthrough That Helped Me Stop Comparing Myself to Others
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
In March 2020, the UK went into its first Covid lockdown, and the country was swept with anxiety and sadness. When would we see our loved ones again? Would our health be okay? Was my job safe? And more pressingly, how the heck was I expected to teach my kids?
Along with everyone else, I first received the news with a sense of impending doom and tried to make the best of a bizarre situation. “Normal life” consisted of stressful home schooling, online working, mask wearing, and (in the UK at least) …
Shadow Parts: How to Recognize and Release Them
“When we are aware of our weaknesses or negative tendencies, we open the opportunity to work on them.” ~Allan Looks
Last year, I took my then-six-year-old son to a kite festival. He was ecstatic about flying his kites, and we spent a lot of time doing just that!
At one point, his kite string got tangled with another lady’s kite string. Both kites crashed to the ground, and the lady and I started working to untangle the strings.
In his excitement, my little one repeatedly asked if we were done yet and if he could fly his kite again. I …
How to Move Forward After Loss: The 3 Phases of Healing
“Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass. You won’t feel sad forever. At some point, you will feel happy again. You won’t feel anxious forever. In time, you will feel calm again. You don’t have to fight your feelings or feel guilty for having them. You just have to accept them and be good to yourself while you ride this out. Resisting your emotions and shaming yourself will only cause you more pain, and you don’t deserve that. You deserve your own love, acceptance, and compassion.” ~Lori Deschene
To this day, I still remember that call. I had just …
How One Simple Change Transformed My Life
“It’s the small habits. How you spend your mornings. How you talk to yourself. What you read and what you watch. Who you share your energy with. Who has access to you. That will change your life.” ~Michael Tonge
It was a Tuesday morning like any other. The alarm clock mercilessly blared, abruptly ending my peaceful slumber. Groggy and disoriented, I dragged myself out of bed, my mind already racing with the countless tasks that awaited me.
I wearily stumbled down the stairs, desperately yearning for the comfort of my morning coffee. But as the aroma filled the air, I …
5 Lessons Pain Taught Me About Love
“If there is love in your heart, it will guide you through your life. Love has its own intelligence.” ~Sadhguru
Love was something I craved for most of my life. I dreamed that one day, a person would come into my life, preferably a man, who would love me and save me from my painful suffering filled with emptiness and desperation.
Even when I was single, which I was quite often and for prolonged periods, I would fantasize about a perfect relationship with someone who’d understand and accept me even in my worst moments. I wanted a partner and a …
How I Healed from Addiction One New Belief at a Time
“Recovery is all about using our power to change our beliefs that are based on faulty data.” ~Kevin McCormick
I struggled with what I would consider a disconnect with myself from a very young age. I was born a free spirit, curious and interested in so many things. I was also very shy and sensitive. I was not the type to be put in a box or expected to conform to the norm. That just wasn’t me. I needed to be accepted and supported for who I was.
Instead, my well-meaning parents attempted to “domesticate” me, especially my father. I …
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