Nobody Talks About the Angry Stage of Healing
The Most Useful Mindfulness Technique I Know
“This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.” ~Rumi
When people start out with mindfulness, they want to feel better. They want all the worried, angry, or regretful thoughts to pipe down a little and stop making them feel so bad.
That’s great, as far as it goes, and mindfulness can deliver it if you practice consistently. But there’s something even better on offer, and it both is and isn’t about feeling better.
I learned this on an intensive meditation retreat.
There I was, excited to be there and ready to attain states of bliss, …
How to Prevent Your Ego from Running Your Life
“The ego is not master in its own house.” ~Sigmund Freud
What does that mean? If the ego is not in charge, who is?
Before diving deeper, let me tell you this story.
That Little Voice Again
My jaw tightened, and I couldn’t sit still. Anyone could see that the conversation was heading south. As I was fiddling with my car keys, a little distracted, a very distinct, persistent little voice pushed me to interrupt my sister.
Go ahead. Say it! Make her stop talking!
Like a broken cassette, the words you are wrong kept looping in my …
Miraculous Empath Breakthrough: My Mother’s Cancer Gift
“Humbleness, forgiveness, clarity, and love are the dynamics of freedom. They are the foundations of authentic power.” ~Gary Zukav
Last July, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and began chemotherapy. She asked if I could stay and help her through the treatments.
Our relationship had always been strained—she was judgmental of my nomadic lifestyle and often spoke in a way that left me feeling demoralized and degraded. As an empath, this criticism was particularly hard to bear. I would feel an instant shock, like an infusion of toxic poison flowing through my veins, triggering a strong desire to …
How to Find Your Ikigai (and More Purpose and Joy)
“We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize that we only have one.” ~Confucius
According to Gettysburg College, the average person will spend 90,000 hours working in their lifetime. For many of us, it seems that the answer to Mary Oliver’s famous question, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” is work. So why do so many of us stay in jobs we don’t enjoy?
For three years, I had a job that made me feel restless and disengaged. On paper, it was the right fit. It aligned …
Why I Deprioritized Myself and What I Now Know About Boundaries
“If you do not have needs, you once did.” ~ Marshall Rosenberg
When I was born, my mother did not want me. In the northern part of India, there is still a very strong preference for having a male child. A female child is often seen as a burden because of the social and economic traditions of patriarchy.
Because of this initial rejection, I became highly sensitive to my parents’ inner worlds. In my deep longing to be loved and accepted, I mastered the subtle art of sensing their needs and feelings, becoming a natural caretaker.
I would come back …
How to Boost Your Self-Esteem: 6 Tips to Like Yourself More
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
I have, as I believe many of us do, grappled with the thorny issues of self-esteem for much of my life. But it was only when I became terribly unwell with an autoimmune disease six years ago that I began to see how much low self-esteem was affecting my day-to-day life and my health.
I started to see how focusing on external validation and bending and folding, putting the needs of others ahead of mine, like a reed being dragged back and forth by …
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