Seeing Your Parents for Who They Are
I Wanted Peace and Freedom After Prison, and Forgiveness Was the Way
“In every walk with Nature one receives far more than he seeks.” ~John Muir
The sign comes into view.
I make the left-hand turn, driving slowly through the rusty gated entrance. The sound of gravel beneath the tires makes me smile. I flashback to driving my go-kart on our gravel driveway.
I park my rental Mini and walk to the kiosk.
The Mianus River Gorge trail map is laid out in front of me. Where is the trail I’m looking for? Which one will bring me to the waterfall? This is why I came here today—to find the waterfall. I …
“But He Never Hit Me!” – How I Ignored My Abuse for 30 Years
“People only see what they are prepared to see.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Abuse is a funny thing. I don’t mean humorous, of course.
I mean the other definition of funny: difficult to explain or understand.
Abuse shouldn’t be difficult to understand. If someone is mistreated, we should be able to clearly point a finger and proclaim, “That is wrong.”
But not all abuse is obvious or clear-cut.
I was abused for most of my adult life and didn’t know it.
Crazy, right?
Let me state it again: I was abused and didn’t know it.
I only saw what I …
How To Make Peace with Regrets: 4 Steps That Help Me Let Go
“Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz
The other day, I told my adult niece that I regretted selling my downtown condo several years ago.
“On no,” she said. “You told me back then that you were finding the lack of light was getting to you. You weren’t happy there.”
I had no memory of that until she reminded me. And surprisingly, it lifted a great deal of my painful regret around it. It helped me change from regret to recognition that I’d made the right decision.
That got …
Confronting Your Truth: The Life-Changing Benefits of Asking “Why?”
“The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with yourself.” ~David Goggins
Today I’m going to ask a question that will unlock a better life for you.
You’re probably expecting something profound.
You’re probably expecting something that will shake you to your core.
You’re probably expecting something that you’ve never heard before.
Don’t get me wrong, it can and will dramatically change your life, but you’ve definitely heard it before. Especially if you’ve been around a three-year-old.
And did I mention it’s only one word?
It’s the simple question of “Why?”
It’s scary to ask …
8 Painful Side Effects of Trying to Please and Save Everyone Else
“Empaths did not come into this world to be victims, we came to be warriors. Be brave. Stay strong. We need all hands on deck.” ~Anthony St. Maarten
From the moment I entered this world, I strongly felt others’ pain. Especially those in my house. They were not okay, and I felt it deeply.
Their intense negative emotions made me feel unsafe. I lived with my parents and my grandparents. Two generations of oppressed and abused women, whom I loved so much.
The men weren’t all bad. They were gentle, deep, and loving. But then they would switch into …
How I’m Overcoming Perfectionism and Why I’m No Longer Scared to Fail
“Perfectionism is a self-destructive belief system. It’s a way of thinking that says: ‘If I look perfect, live perfect, and work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism and blame.’” ~Brené Brown
I struggled with trying new things in my past. I learned growing up that failure was bad. I used to be a gifted child, slightly ahead of my peers. As I got older, everything went downhill.
Whenever I tried out a new activity, I would quit if I wasn’t instantly perfect at it. If there was the slightest imperfection, I would get extremely frustrated and upset. I …
An Unexpected Place to Find Kindness: What Made Me Feel Like I Belong
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~Mother Teresa
Routines are important to me. I rely on certain things to bring me back home to myself; to feel clear and open in my mind, body, and heart.
One of the activities that bring steadiness to my life is swimming. It’s one of my greatest pleasures. There is something magical to me about the feeling of water on my skin, the repetition of the arm strokes that calm my mind, the sound of my breath that relaxes my body, and the …
How I’m Accepting the Uncertain Future (with Less Worry and More Joy)
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” ~Ferris Bueller
For as long as I can remember, my life has consisted of change.
I grew up moving around the world. I went from Canada to Pakistan, Egypt to Jamaica, Ghana to Ukraine, then finally China to Australia.
Moving to new countries and adapting to new cultures is like a cold plunge to your entire system and way of being. I felt I had no choice but to fit in as quickly as possible.
By the age of six or …
How I Changed My Perspective When I Was Too Angry to Be Grateful
This is not your usual piece about gratitude.
I am sure you’re familiar with all the benefits of having a regular gratitude practice.
Chances are you, as a reader of this blog, have a gratitude routine of yours. I was one of you. I have been regularly gratitude journaling for over a year now. I have experienced all the promised benefits of it myself.
Gratitude journaling has helped me reduce my stress, get better sleep, and feel more energized. It improved my mental well-being so much that I even started a social media page to encourage others to practice gratitude.…
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 