“It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you’re not.” ~Unknown
Over the past four years, I followed a career path that felt soulless.
As I moved from city to city, climbing the corporate ladder, I noticed that, ironically, the bigger my paycheck, the emptier I felt. Something about advertising felt lifeless, cold, and desperate to me.
But I ignored this feeling and worked over it, drank over it, binged, exercised, and ate over it.
I pressed forward like a steel freight train on a mission to find my happiness. When I got to that …
“People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their version of reality.” ~Unknown
I’m often open to suggestion. I like to gather opinions and feedback about my writing so that I can use it to improve the impact and make it a better read.
The thing I’ve learned about listening to other people’s thoughts on my writing is that sometimes what seems like good advice is little more than personal preference; changing an image or an entire scene to suit one person isn’t always the right path, especially if my gut is saying, “You know you …
“Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.” ~Unknown
The other day, a friend told me how his previous relationship fell apart. His girlfriend failed to disclose a major resentment based on a misconception, and instead initiated a series of arguments over little things until their relationship eventually collapsed under the weight of all that confrontation.
I explained how I practice radical honesty with my boyfriend. Essentially, I disclose everything I think and feel about him that I have trouble resolving in my head, knowing full well most of it has more to do …
“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.” ~Swedish Proverb
When I was in my mid-twenties an unhealthy relationship with an unhealthy guy sent me packing off to the corner of New Mexico to find myself. In a new age, self-discovery kind of world—a hubbub of a town filled with people in transition—I was graced to meet many powerful healers, gurus, shamans, and teachers.
I became a workshop junkie. I went on Shamanic power journeys to spiritual centers around the world, chanted with Indian gurus, and became a certified yoga instructor and …
“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I’m sitting on a straw bail at an unplugged rock concert that’s being held in Barrydale, South Africa, my current home and sanctuary. It’s a big deal for this small town, because nothing much ever really happens here.
Everyone from the area has arrived dressed to the hilt and ready to rumba—except me, that is. I’m sitting to the side (in an outfit that will scare away most normal people) staring forlornly off into the distance.
My buddy Sean sits next to me with …
“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha
Whenever I write or publish a post about following your heart professionally, inevitably someone comments that it’s far easier said than done. I completely understand this instinct. After all, most of us don’t start with a massive nest egg that allows us to explore our passions without concern for financial security.
I also understand when people get frustrated by articles that suggest making a living with your passion is a simple step-by-step process.
It’s not always easy to do what you love …
“Always be mindful of the kindness and not the faults of others” ~Buddha
In these hectic and often chaotic times, for most people (controllers included), the need for intimate, close bonds with friends and family is more important than ever for their overall well-being.
Yet, most controllers are unaware of how much their controlling actions prevent intimacy.
Losing Intimacy with My Son
Twenty years ago I was a massive, obsessive controller. I firmly believed that the best way to satisfy my needs and achieve what I wanted in life was by controlling everything and everyone. At home, Father truly knew …
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” ~George Sheehan
Here’s the routine: wake up, do my work, watch TV, and go to bed.
This was a regular day in my life not long ago. It was not too eventful and not overly challenging, and to be the honest, the less challenging it was, the less stress there was for me—at least that’s what I thought.
I had been working online for a few years, and my income was not up to where I wanted it to …
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi
When I was young, I fell in love with Africa. It was an unsophisticated and amorphous love, not directly related to anything in particular about that vast continent. I now see that the point of my love affair with Africa was to deliver my first calling to me.
Merriam-Webster defines a “calling” as: “…a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence.”
My first calling was to connect with people who seemed very different from …
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” -Helen Keller
Gratitude. Kindness. Joy. Vulnerability. Passion. Hope. Inspiration. Motivation. Loyalty. Awe. Authenticity. Selflessness. Thoughtfulness. Patience. Understanding. Trust. Simplicity. Serenity. Relaxation. Purpose. Peace. Generosity. Honesty. Integrity. Balance. Bravery. Love.
Look around. It’s a beautiful day, and because of all the good you do and create, you’re a beautiful part of it.
Photo by AlicePopkorn
“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing” ~Aristotle
The need for approval kills freedom.
Trust me, I know, because I spent my entire life seeking approval until I realized it was a waste of time and didn’t work anyway. The desire to get people to like me motivated the majority of my choices and actions in early life.
Queen of social chameleons, I mastered the art of telling people what they wanted to hear and being someone they would find impressive—all the while worrying incessantly about what others thought of me, fearing criticism, …
Tiny Buddha’s Handbook for Peace and Happiness is the ultimate guide of Tiny Buddha wisdom, based on some of the most popular posts and quotes from the site. You’ll also find 4 posts not previously published on tinybuddha.com.
Through this eBook, I’ve shared myself authentically and vulnerably, and have also offered countless action-oriented suggestions to improve your state of mind, enhance your relationships, identify what makes you feel passionate and purposeful, and find the courage to overcome obstacles and seize your dreams.
These are my most popular, value-packed posts, as viewed by more than 4 million readers in the last …
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama
A year ago, I hit rock bottom. Until that point, I had put all my energy into my dream of becoming a physician. Last year my life slammed into a brick wall, and my plans seemed to be torn into pieces.
After high school, I took every opportunity to immerse myself in the medical profession while maintaining my grades in college.
During the summer of my freshman year, I worked as an Emergency Medical Technician and practiced being a first responder during medical emergencies. …
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
I was always someone who craved love and attention. This is not to say that I accepted love willingly—quite the opposite, in fact.
If someone decided to like or even love me they would have to pass through a path of obstacles, being pushed, pulled, and tested at every corner. Only then, upon arrival at the finish line, would they gain my acceptance.
As you can imagine, this eliminated a number of potential friends and partners, and I often found myself lonely and disappointed.…
“The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.” -Harry Kemp
A while back, I found a research study that revealed a lot of trust fund babies end up struggling with depression. Since they don’t need to work to earn a living, many of them feel a sense of emptiness and purposelessness.
Even with all the money they could ever need, they often feel that their lives are lacking.
I’m sure most of us wouldn’t mind a little extra money to play with, but there is no wealth like the joy …
“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
When you think about the future, are you filled with hope or worry? If you are like most people, it’s probably anxiety. You have largely been experiencing worry. Your mind feels unsettled.
Worry arises because you realize that you cannot predict what is going to happen tomorrow and know that you cannot have full control over how events turn out. You are uncomfortable with not having absolute certainty.
Incessant worrying happens when you find it hard to let go. You …
“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” -Lena Horne
We often think that admitting struggle is a sign of weakness, but we all struggle sometimes. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. We all need help sometimes. Acknowledging this is not a sign of weakness, but struggling alone is a choice to grow weak.
We all need each other. No one is an island. The good news is that people really do care. Think about it. If someone you know was hurting, would you offer your support? If someone you know got into a tough …
“We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves.” ~Pema Chodron
Recently I got into a hypothetical conversation with someone who very quickly turned hostile and accusatory. Let’s call her Jane. My first instinct was to get defensive, but then I realized this subject was quite raw for Jane, and there was likely something going on below the surface.
Usually when people are combative seemingly without cause, there’s some underlying pain fueling it.
As we got to the root of things, I learned that Jane was holding onto anger …
“No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.” ~Brendan Francis
Anyone can be mindful for a moment or two, but developing your mindfulness muscle means that you have to take things to a higher level.
In today’s world it’s all too easy to get distracted from what’s truly important. Wherever you go and whatever you do, you see messages designed to get you to perform a specific action and distract you from the fact that you are already whole.
There are no reminders to be mindful unless we create them.
The responsibility is in your hands. …
“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmann
Last year I realized that I lived twenty-eight years without knowing what it really means to love and take care of myself.
In 2010, I took some wonderful, worldly trips—Costa Rica, Bangkok, Taipei—trekking and exploring.
My husband and I bought a second home. I fully engaged myself in the improvements and the creativity of decorating a fresh canvas.
I ran several races, including a half-marathon, and finished well. …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 