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Posts tagged with “emotions”

Trauma Lies: Why Survivors Feel Like They’re Bad People

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“Trauma is not the bad things that happen to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” ~Dr. Gabor Maté

I used to have this pervasive empty feeling inside. I tried filling it by eating, working, being a wife, making my life look great on socials—anything really to make it go away. I went to church, worked hard, and tried to be a good person, hoping the hole would fill and my life would feel whole and complete.

I went to therapy for the first time when I was sixteen years old. I remember …

The Truth About Repressing Emotions: Lessons from a Child’s Meltdown

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“Cry as often as you need to. It’s the all-purpose healing balm of the soul.” ~Karla McLaren, The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You

A few years ago, a good friend invited me to his six-year-old daughter’s birthday party.

As I walked through his front door, I was greeted by the cheerful sound of children running around, their tiny feet pounding on the hardwood floor as they expertly avoided the table full of gifts in the living room.

Their parents looked just as excited, many enjoying the opportunity to finally have adult conversations (even …

How I’m Learning to Live with Anxiety, Not Against It

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“Your anger? It’s telling you where you feel powerless. Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance. Your fear? It’s telling you what you care about. Your apathy? It’s telling you where you’re overextended and burnt out. Your feelings aren’t random, they are messengers. And if you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you and tell you what you really need.” ~Brianna Wiest

For half of my life, anxiety has been my constant companion. I went from a confident, fiery, and fearless girl to a woman plagued …

Let Your Tears Flow: The Proven Benefits of Crying

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“Crying is not a sign of weakness, it’s a courageous expression of emotions that leads to strength.” ~Unknown

When was the last time you cried? Tears are often seen as a sign of weakness, but for me, they are a powerful guide that helps me recognize and understand my feelings. In a society that frequently suppresses emotions, I want to share my journey with tears and encourage you to reflect on your own experiences.

The Change in My Relationship with Tears

Sometimes, I like to cry. During my studies, I hardly ever cried sober and was proud of it. I …

Easily Annoyed by Your Partner? A Relationship-Saving Approach

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“You are not your feelings. You just experience them. Anger, sadness, hate, depression, fear. This is the rain you walk in. But you don’t become the rain. You know the rain will pass. You walk on. And you remember the soft glow of the sun that will come again.” ~Matt Haig

Being a relationship-oriented person all my life, I’ve found it fascinating and frustrating how easy it is to feel annoyed with one’s spouse—the person we are supposed to feel most happy to be around.

I used to feel quite annoyed with my husband on a nearly daily basis. But …

The Amazing Healing Power of Talking About Our Anxiety

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“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I have dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember. There are times when I don’t experience it and times when it seems unbearable. It’s sort of like a rollercoaster that just never stops. And I am the first person to admit that anxiety can take over your life if it goes unmanaged.

The toughest part about anxiety is that it can be hard

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The Most Useful Mindfulness Technique I Know

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“This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.” ~Rumi

When people start out with mindfulness, they want to feel better. They want all the worried, angry, or regretful thoughts to pipe down a little and stop making them feel so bad.

That’s great, as far as it goes, and mindfulness can deliver it if you practice consistently. But there’s something even better on offer, and it both is and isn’t about feeling better.

I learned this on an intensive meditation retreat.

There I was, excited to be there and ready to attain states of bliss, …

Why I Deprioritized Myself and What I Now Know About Boundaries

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“If you do not have needs, you once did.” ~ Marshall Rosenberg

When I was born, my mother did not want me. In the northern part of India, there is still a very strong preference for having a male child. A female child is often seen as a burden because of the social and economic traditions of patriarchy.

Because of this initial rejection, I became highly sensitive to my parents’ inner worlds. In my deep longing to be loved and accepted, I mastered the subtle art of sensing their needs and feelings, becoming a natural caretaker.

I would come back …

3 Important Things to Remember When People Are Mean

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“Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be genuine. But most of all, be thankful.” ~Unknown

Nobody is spared from being on the receiving end of a mean comment at some point or another. And it’s been said time and time again that allowing a mean person to get under your skin only serves to let them control you. The wiser thing to do is recognize that their comment about you is uninformed and get on with your day.

Still, it’s far easier to know that wisdom than it is to truly feel and live it.

I remember one instance in particular: A …

I’m Not Sorry for My Tears: A New Movement

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“Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

A few nights ago, I was at a groovy, loud Mexican restaurant with some friends. In between sips of spicy margaritas and bites of chips with guac, I was talking with one of my friends privately about her latest struggles. She was confiding in me that she was still quite emotional about losing her mom.

Although it had been two years, she still found herself crying alone and in front of others when she talked or thought about her mother. She mentioned that the week prior, …

How to Make Shame Your Ally

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“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown

I was walking to my office one day when one of my colleagues gave me a compliment about what I was wearing. I was a little surprised and, without thinking, said something disparaging about my dress and darted off into my office.

As I sat down, I noticed an intense wave of discomfort all over my body, and dark churning thoughts started attacking me.

What is wrong with me? I asked myself. Why did I say such a …

Why I’m Now Welcoming My Anxiety with Open Arms

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“You are not your feelings. You just experience them. Anger, sadness, hate, depression, fear. This is the rain you walk in. But you don’t become the rain. You know the rain will pass. You walk on. And you remember the soft glow of the sun that will come again.” ~Matt Haig

I have been anxious for as long as I can remember.

All of my earliest memories are ones where I was worrying or fearful for one reason or another.

Thinking back, the first memory I have that is akin to that of an actual anxiety disorder, meaning that the …

People Say “Don’t Cry”

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Can’t Just “Let It Go”?

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4 Things You Need to Know About Your Hurting Inner Child

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“She held herself until the sobs of the child inside subsided entirely. I love you, she told herself. It will all be okay.” ~H. Raven Rose

The first time I heard about inner child work was in a random article I found on the internet.

It caught my attention because I was struggling to develop loving and compassionate feelings toward myself. Although I understood the role of limiting beliefs and unhealthy habits in my healing process and how to overcome them, I couldn’t feel love and empathy for myself.

Most of the time, I was either very harsh toward myself …

A Little Hope and Encouragement for Hard Times

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“If your path demands you to walk through hell, walk as though you own the place.” ~Unknown

Trigger warning: This content contains references to self-harm and suicide.

It was in the spring semester during graduate school. I was living alone in a one-bedroom apartment and working nearly full-time hours at night.

The anti-depressants weren’t working so well. I was keeping up with my therapist, but I suppose it was too much.

I felt too much. It hurt so much and couldn’t handle it. You could list out the symptoms of depression, and I had them all.

Unable to deal with …

All Emotions Come and Go

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Transforming Pain into Power: The Magic of Emotional Alchemy

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If it weren’t for my darkest moments, I wouldn’t appreciate the life I have today. I’ve overcome a lot, and my biggest battle wasn’t the hurdles themselves but how they made me feel, draining my energy and desire for life until I nearly lost it completely. I’m sharing my story to give you hope. If I can transform pain into beauty through emotional alchemy, you can, too.

I’m not going to lie and say my journey has been easy. Nor is it over; overcoming a lifetime of dysfunctional patterns from a toxic childhood and challenging adult experiences takes time. However, …

How Our Emotional Triggers Can Actually Be Great Gifts

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“Be grateful for triggers, they point to where you are not free.” ~Unknown

Your triggers are your responsibility. I know, it doesn’t land so nicely, does it? But it’s the truth. The moment you truly understand this, you let others off the hook and you’re able to actually see triggers as gifts pointing to where you’re not whole.

I’ve heard this many times before and felt like retorting with, “But, he/she/they did….” Just because your triggers are your responsibility doesn’t mean that others won’t do hurtful or infuriating things. It just means the only thing you can control is your …

How to Process Intense Feelings with Mindfulness: 4 Powerful Steps

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“Feelings come and go, like clouds in the sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of intense emotions.

Whether it’s the stress of looming deadlines, the anxiety of an uncertain future, or the frustration of unexpected setbacks, intense feelings often hijack our mental well-being, leaving us feeling drained and powerless in their wake.

In such moments, our instinctual response is often to either suppress these emotions or allow them to dictate our actions, leading to a cycle of reactivity and emotional turbulence.

Growing up, …