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Posts tagged with “growth”

The People Who Hurt Us Are Vehicles for Our Growth

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“You only see in others what you have in yourself.” ~Annette Noontil

I now recognize, after observing painful patterns repeat many times, how things that trigger me are just lessons I need to learn that are often delivered through other people. The more painful the experience, the more I can see (in retrospect) I learned from it.

Every now and then, when I find myself getting sucked into thoughts about the rightness or wrongness of a situation and how much pain it’s causing me, I take a step backward. I can see that people are just the mechanism to my …

When You Start Thinking That You’re Not Good Enough…

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“You are strong when you know your weaknesses. You are beautiful when you appreciate your flaws. You are wise when you learn from your mistakes.” ~Unknown

The most annoying thing for me is to hear someone tell me, “Just stop it!” whenever I am frustrated or discouraged and looking for answers and solutions.

When you’re anxious, and someone tells you, “Stop worrying, it will all be fine…” these words only add fuel to the fire and often make you angry. At least this is true for me.

It reminds me of a funny video I watched about a “unique” …

How to Reach Your Goal (And Why Three People Showing Up Isn’t Failure)

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“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.” ~Wayne Dyer

I’ve been part of a social meet-up group for the past few years, one that’s helped me through tricky times like quitting my job, dealing with anxiety, and having my first baby. When I first joined the group, there were three people who attended the events. (Yes, you read that correctly—three people!)

There were lots of people in the group itself, but only three of us would regularly attend monthly events. It meant that if one of …

We Keep Going, One Tiny Step at a Time, and We Should Be Proud

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“Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take.” ~Karen Salmansohn

One of the greatest ironies of being human is that we’re often hardest on ourselves right when we should be most proud.

Let’s say you finally find the courage to start a dream project you’ve fantasized about for as long as you can remember. You push through years of built-up fears, overcome massive internal resistance, and take the leap despite feeling like you’re jumping through a ring of fire, above a pit filled with burning acid.

It’s one of …

The ABCs of Personal Growth: How to Live a Meaningful, Fulfilling Life

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“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” ~Karen Kaiser Clark

Throughout my life, I’ve moved countries, studied a foreign language, changed careers, launched a business, run a half marathon, written a book, faced agonizing loss and grief, won awards, been deeply hurt, created awesome charity campaigns, lived with huge uncertainty and pain, found love and friendships to cherish, and given birth to three miraculous humans.

Throughout these and plenty more crazy, insane, complex, and utterly beautiful life events, I have collected treasured building blocks that help me live a life of meaning, purpose, and joy every single day.…

Everyone’s Doing The Best That They Can

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“All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.” ~Brené Brown

My favorite principle is this simple truth: Everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources they have. Adopting this belief has radically changed my relationship to myself and to others.

This idea has been explored by a constellation of religious, spiritual, and wellness practitioners. As Deepak Chopra said, “People are doing the best that they can from …

Growth Is Not Found in Comfort

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Don’t Forget to Appreciate How Far You’ve Come

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“Remember how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.” ~Rick Warren

We’re always talking about how we should live in the now and “be present.” We shame ourselves for looking back at the past or into the future, thinking that we shouldn’t look too far ahead or worry about what’s to come, and we shouldn’t get too caught up in events that have already happened. We want to be focused on being the best person we can be …

7 Reasons to Abandon Your Comfort Zone and Why You’ll Never Regret It

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“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~Jack Canfield

Imagine with me for a second. You wake up, roll over, and blindly reach to hit your alarm to start the routine of the day. Make the same thing for breakfast. Maybe go to a new coffee place…nah. Same place. Go to work on the same route to the same job you’ve been at for years.

After a long day of struggling through your daily responsibilities, you come home tired and slink back into the comfort of your TV and couch. Watch the same shows. Pass out. Repeat. …

Failing Doesn’t Make You a Failure (and You Can Still Succeed)

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“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.” ~Zig Ziglar

Take a second and imagine little you. running around like the little ragamuffin you were. Imagine as far back as you can—back when you were first able to comprehend feedback from parents, teachers, or whatever other authorities were around.

When considering the cause of low self-esteem, the most obvious answers fall under the umbrella of past abuses or failures: a parent who demanded straight A’s, an abusive spouse, etc. These are common forms of mistreatment that cause some people’s self-esteem to tank.

But for those who’ve lived fairly easy …

You Either Get Bitter Or You Get Better

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Challenges Our Lessons for Our Growth

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When Family Members Push Our Buttons: How This Helps Us Grow

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“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ~Pema Chodron

You love them most of the time. You can’t stand them some of the time. But in the end, family is family.

I’ve never liked to admit it, but I am just like my dad. Close in birthday, same number 5 life path in numerology, both risk takers, very passionate and adventurous, fun-loving, and witty, and we lead by example. That’s positively speaking.

However, it becomes a negative pattern to focus on the other side of the coin. We …

Post-Traumatic Growth: How Pain Can Lead to Gain

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“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” ~Shauna Niequist

It’s been over five years since the unexpected death of my oldest son. The first couple years were fraught with depression, despair, and a sense of hopelessness like I had never felt before. I even kept a notebook in my purse outlining the plan for how I would ultimately end my life.

It wasn’t until this past year that I told my friends about how close I had been to the edge. After outing myself, I found out they …

You’re More Than Your Mistakes

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Source: NotSalmon.com

You Don’t Have to Appear Perfect: It’s Okay to Admit You’re Flawed

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“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” ~Sigmund Freud

If you’re anything like I was, you have an image of yourself that you want other people to adopt. You think people expect that of you or would like you better if that’s who you were, so you pretend to be that person.

Over time, you put on layers of protection to prevent people from seeing the imperfections that would undermine that perception. You refuse to admit to those imperfections. You may also blame others, the weather, or fate for any perceived failure—anything but yourself.

As a result, you can’t …

Don’t Carry Your Mistakes

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Source: Lessons Learned in Life

Your Biggest Fear Carries Your Greatest Opportunity for Growth

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“Your largest fear carries your greatest growth.” ~Unknown

I was twenty when I met him. A naive apprentice of love, I plunged into romance with no fear and I was left speechless.

It was all so new and thrilling, all I had ever dreamed about and more. It’s hard to describe how strong our bond grew in such a short time. We knew we had met our perfect match; we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together.

But one day it all suddenly became too good to be true: he confessed he had cheated on me.

My …

Bounce Back and Thrive: The Secret to Turning Adversity into Opportunity

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“Sweet are the uses of adversity which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head.” ~William Shakespeare                                                                        

It’s hard for me to write about this. I suppose it stems from being a mutt of Italian and Irish ancestry, two cultures famous for intense pride and keeping personal things “in the family.”

I wonder if my parents ever loved each other.

By the time I was eight years old, it was clear they did not get along. I never witnessed them getting along, or even being affectionate toward one another. But I always felt …

Share Your Privilege: Your Story Could Change Someone’s Life

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“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” ~Brené Brown

I think most of us can reflect vividly on the turning point that brought us toward where we are today.

Often during these transitional periods, major life events push us to pursue the peace of mind we have always dreamed of having.

For me, this journey started my sophomore year in college. My father had just passed away from suicide, and subsequently I was diagnosed with major depression for the second time in my college career.

It wasn’t the most pleasant diagnosis to receive, but I was relieved that I now …

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