Posts tagged with “Pain”
Moving from Heartbreak to Happiness: How to Work Through the Pain
“Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.” ~Unknown
There I was, sitting in my lounge room, waiting for my girlfriend to return home.
We had just bought our first house together and had been living there for a week. It was a chaotic time, balancing moving, work, study commitments, and an obscene amount of renovations. However, the heartfelt joy of settling into our own place overshadowed the chaos.
Our new home held the dreams of a future life together. The thought of raising a family there filled my heart to the brim.
It was an …
Healing a Broken Heart: It Will Get Better
“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert
I thought I went through my last breakup a few years ago. I thought I had paid my dues, cried my share of tears, and dealt with some deep wounds. I thought I was done. I was happy and in love, and talking about moving in with my boyfriend.
One day we took a little vacation. We laughed and explored the desert excitedly talking about our dreams. Three days later I found myself sobbing on the floor of my tub, …
Falling Apart at Inconvenient Times: Why There Is No Shame in Public Pain
“The major block to compassion is the judgment in our minds. Judgment is the mind’s primary tool of separation.” ~David R. Hamilton
On the evening of October 28, 2014, the phone rang. When I heard my stepmother’s voice, immediately, I thought, “This can’t be good.”
Last I had heard, my father was resting comfortably after routine surgery earlier that day. Now it was past midnight in North Carolina.
“Jill,” my stepmother implored, “please talk to the nurses. I have no idea what they are trying to tell me.” Sometimes we cannot listen to what we do not want to hear.…
6 Healthy Ways to Shed Layers of Emotional Pain
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin
Do you remember a time when you wanted to crawl under the bed and stay forever?
Perhaps you’d been dealing with chronic pain and anxiety, had recently experienced divorce or the loss of a loved one, maybe even lost a job or two. I had experienced all of these things in just a few short years, and, judging by the loud knocking as I hid, was about to have my car repossessed, too.
I …
What Creates Abusive People and How to Release Your Anger
“The biggest problem for humanity, not only on a global level, but even for individuals, is misunderstanding.” ~Rinpoche
Through the course of the relationship he was dishonest, emotionally manipulative, and unkind. It was subtle at first—do we really sign up for this on the dating application? But the acts wound their way through like a slow vine that eventually kills a tree. When it ended, he handled it atrociously.
It took me many months to process it all, facing things I had suppressed in denial. When the shock wore off, I had a desire to let him know how he …
How to Make Peace with the Past and Stop Being a Victim
“Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” ~Harvey Fienstein
Do you usually feel as if everything bad that can happen will happen, and it will happen to you?
You must be the unluckiest person on the face of the planet. Opportunities never work out. Doors that should open close in your face. Friends let you down. Bosses don’t see your value. There seems to be a universal conspiracy to keep you stuck right where you are now.
You feel like your life is always going to be like this.…
Why Advice Doesn’t Help When We’re Hurting (and What Does)
“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we’re listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” ~Karl A. Menninger
I remember my first call like it was yesterday.
I answered the phone, heart beating out of my chest, hand firm on a sheet of local emergency phone numbers.
The voice on the other end was full of… meek embarrassment.
Not exactly what I was expecting.
“Uhh, I’m really sorry… I’m not, uhh… I’m not suicidal…. I just… I just had a …
Coping with Loss and Heartbreak: How to Get Through the Pain
“The unendurable is the beginning of the curve of joy.” ~Djuna Barnes
November, 2014. A story you’ve heard a million times. The person I believed with all my heart to be “the one” ceased to feel the same way about me.
My heart and soul shattered, I had no desire to live, the whole works.
Having your heart broken, especially by someone you truly loved is, from my perspective, the worst kind of pain there is. It makes you lose all sense of self, reality, purpose, and faith. To me, it felt like my soul was being severed …
How to Move On: What It Really Means to Let Go
“Don’t let the darkness from your past block the light of joy in your present. What happened is done. Stop giving time to things which no longer exist, when there is so much joy to be found here and now.” ~Karen Salmansohn
If you are lucky enough to spend time in mindful communities you will hear the phrase “letting go” used frequently. The practice of letting go is used to support our acceptance of the way things are, and I believe it’s a cornerstone of creating a happy, full life.
But what happens when you’re being asked to let go…
Something Good Can Come from Pain and Struggle
“How thankful I am today, to know that all my past struggles were necessary for me to be where I am now.” ~Unknown
Ten years ago when I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, my first thought was “Why me?” and it was this thought that followed me throughout my journey. It wasn’t until I was well enough to look back that I realized how much of my life was shaped by my anorexia. But not in a bad way.
Today, I am thankful for the struggles I endured, for the deepest lows I dragged myself through, and all the places …
3 Things to Remember When Facing Emotional Pain
“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us—how we can take it, what we do with it—and that is what really counts in the end.” ~Joseph Fort Newton
Life is messy. Sometimes it’s so beautiful that I feel blinded by the glory I have the privilege of bearing witness to. Other times, I have felt such deep despair that I thought my tears would never end.
Unfortunately, my husband and I endured the deepest despair we could possibly imagine immediately following what should have been our …
A Simple Sentence That Helps When You Feel Overwhelmed
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Days after the initial divorce from my ex-partner, I wanted to meet two very close friends in the city. I knew they would be loving and supportive and that the experience would be good for me. But I was so grief stricken and overwhelmed with emotion that even leaving the house felt like a monumental effort.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, picturing all the steps it would take me from where I was now to where they were seemed insurmountable. Normally, I would have jumped in …
The Pain Won’t Go Away Until We Learn the Lesson
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron
Wounds I thought were healed began to burst open after a recent breakup. I had obviously not learned the lessons I was meant to years ago.
As a child I put 100% effort into everything I did, from schoolwork and swimming training to leadership positions. I remember feeling so sure of myself.
I drew my confidence from many areas of my life. A good student, swimming champion, school captain… I had my life sorted. Although the swimming accolades and A’s on my report …
We Can Get Through It, Even If We Think We Can’t
“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~Carl Gustav
It used to be my favorite guided meditation. You know the one about the mountain, where you imagine yourself as the mountain? Strong, tall, standing firm in the face of all that comes at it—rain, hail, shine. Letting it all wash off without getting rattled by it.
One of the reasons I used to love that particular guided meditation was because I could relate to it. I could relate to it because I love mountains. I love trekking and I love mountains. Big mountains. …
4 Things to Remember When Your Relationship Falls Apart
“At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.” ~Unknown
I was filled with excitement and nerves as I stood waiting to meet him for the first time in Paddington station.
It was one of the wettest days I’d seen in London, and the rain dripped steadily from the peaked hood of my blue rain jacket. Zipped up to my chin and the hood pulled tight over my head, only my eyes peered out, searching for him amongst the crowds and falling rain.
Months later, he told me that …
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