fbpx
Menu

Posts tagged with “Pain”

Why Advice Doesn’t Help When We’re Hurting (and What Does)

By

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we’re listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” ~Karl A. Menninger

I remember my first call like it was yesterday.

I answered the phone, heart beating out of my chest, hand firm on a sheet of local emergency phone numbers.

The voice on the other end was full of… meek embarrassment.

Not exactly what I was expecting.

“Uhh, I’m really sorry… I’m not, uhh… I’m not suicidal…. I just… I just had a …

Coping with Loss and Heartbreak: How to Get Through the Pain

By

“The unendurable is the beginning of the curve of joy.” ~Djuna Barnes

November, 2014. A story you’ve heard a million times. The person I believed with all my heart to be “the one” ceased to feel the same way about me.

My heart and soul shattered, I had no desire to live, the whole works.

Having your heart broken, especially by someone you truly loved is, from my perspective, the worst kind of pain there is. It makes you lose all sense of self, reality, purpose, and faith. To me, it felt like my soul was being severed …

Look for What Makes You Grateful Not Hateful

By

Source: NotSalmon.com

Benefits of Laughing

By

Source: Simple Organic Life

How to Move On: What It Really Means to Let Go

By

“Don’t let the darkness from your past block the light of joy in your present. What happened is done. Stop giving time to things which no longer exist, when there is so much joy to be found here and now.” ~Karen Salmansohn

If you are lucky enough to spend time in mindful communities you will hear the phrase “letting go” used frequently. The practice of letting go is used to support our acceptance of the way things are, and I believe it’s a cornerstone of creating a happy, full life.

But what happens when you’re being asked to let go…

Something Good Can Come from Pain and Struggle

By

“How thankful I am today, to know that all my past struggles were necessary for me to be where I am now.” ~Unknown

Ten years ago when I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, my first thought was “Why me?” and it was this thought that followed me throughout my journey. It wasn’t until I was well enough to look back that I realized how much of my life was shaped by my anorexia. But not in a bad way.

Today, I am thankful for the struggles I endured, for the deepest lows I dragged myself through, and all the places …

3 Things to Remember When Facing Emotional Pain

By

“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us—how we can take it, what we do with it—and that is what really counts in the end.” ~Joseph Fort Newton

Life is messy. Sometimes it’s so beautiful that I feel blinded by the glory I have the privilege of bearing witness to. Other times, I have felt such deep despair that I thought my tears would never end.

Unfortunately, my husband and I endured the deepest despair we could possibly imagine immediately following what should have been our …

A Simple Sentence That Helps When You Feel Overwhelmed

By

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Days after the initial divorce from my ex-partner, I wanted to meet two very close friends in the city. I knew they would be loving and supportive and that the experience would be good for me. But I was so grief stricken and overwhelmed with emotion that even leaving the house felt like a monumental effort.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, picturing all the steps it would take me from where I was now to where they were seemed insurmountable. Normally, I would have jumped in …

The Pain Won’t Go Away Until We Learn the Lesson

By

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

Wounds I thought were healed began to burst open after a recent breakup. I had obviously not learned the lessons I was meant to years ago.

As a child I put 100% effort into everything I did, from schoolwork and swimming training to leadership positions. I remember feeling so sure of myself.

I drew my confidence from many areas of my life. A good student, swimming champion, school captain… I had my life sorted. Although the swimming accolades and A’s on my report …

We Can Get Through It, Even If We Think We Can’t

By

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~Carl Gustav

It used to be my favorite guided meditation. You know the one about the mountain, where you imagine yourself as the mountain? Strong, tall, standing firm in the face of all that comes at it—rain, hail, shine. Letting it all wash off without getting rattled by it.

One of the reasons I used to love that particular guided meditation was because I could relate to it. I could relate to it because I love mountains. I love trekking and I love mountains. Big mountains. …

4 Things to Remember When Your Relationship Falls Apart

By

“At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.” ~Unknown

I was filled with excitement and nerves as I stood waiting to meet him for the first time in Paddington station.

It was one of the wettest days I’d seen in London, and the rain dripped steadily from the peaked hood of my blue rain jacket. Zipped up to my chin and the hood pulled tight over my head, only my eyes peered out, searching for him amongst the crowds and falling rain.

Months later, he told me that …

Take Your Power Back: How to Release Fear and Trauma

By

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of physical and emotional abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“I say I am stronger than fear.” ~Malala Yousafzai

“Don’t be scared.” It’s so easy to say, yet sometimes, for many of us, so hard to accomplish.

When I was about three or four years old, my dad locked me in the chicken coop in our back yard. This was a punishment. I was naked and screaming, literally jumping up and down with terror.

Another punishment consisted of my mother rubbing human waste in my face.

There are other things …

7 Ways to Make Pain Work for You

By

“Grief can be the garden of compassion.” ~Rumi

Have you ever had lower back pain? I once wrenched my back and walked at snail’s pace for weeks, crippled by pain. Lower back pain troubled me for years, until I found an exercise that reliably switches off the pain.

Have you ever lost a loved one? The anguish can seem unbearable.

Abolishing pain might seem a good idea, but please pause to consider this story.

I was once the doctor and scientist on a health “mission” with a major international organization. Our team included a vivacious and intelligent young lady …

Grieving a Loss That Feels Like a Death

By

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~Vicki Harrison

Most grief books are written to help you mourn the death of a loved one and learn how to deal with their absence in this world.

Death is probably the most challenging thing a human can face. It breaks us down. It brings us to our knees. Some people are so significant in our lives that the mere thought of living without them feels incredibly overwhelming and incapacitating.…

Life Goes on After Loss: Tiny Steps To Work Through Grief

By

“I realized, it is not the time that heals, but what we do within that time that creates positive change.” ~Diane Dettman

Two weeks ago I found out that a friend passed away. He died eight days after my birthday at the age of twenty-six, and that fact has been hard to swallow, as I didn’t know that my time of celebration would also be a time of grief.

The details surrounding my friend’s death are unknown; all I know is that it happened suddenly, and it was a huge shock to me and other friends that knew him. …

How Accepting the “Bad” Can Lead to Joy and Growth

By

“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” ~Thich Nhat Hạnh

Since I was little, I’ve been taught to avoid what’s “bad” and move toward what’s “good.”

Growing up, my mom would work day and night not only to support me and my little brother with the basic necessities, but to give us a “good” life.

She loved us, so naturally she wanted to support us and to give us happiness, and …

Why Embracing Painful Feelings is the Key to Happiness and Freedom

By

“In our struggle for freedom, truth is the only weapon we possess.” ~Dalai Lama

I often ask myself what led me to that place of feeling like I didn’t deserve to love myself.

When I look back to my youth I remember feeling hopeless. My mom, my hero, was sick a lot, and I could tell she wasn’t happy. And my dad didn’t always know how to act around a sensitive little girl.

There was a “funny” story told at family gatherings about how after seeing the movie Mary Poppins, I would sit for hours in my little red …

3 Steps to Help You Embrace and Move Past Rejection

By

“Wisdom is merely the movement from fighting life to embracing it.” ~Rasheed Ogunlaru

There were many things I wasn’t prepared for when it came to baby raising: the constant self-doubt, the vocal opinions of others, teething that never ended. But the real shock was when my ten-month-old daughter rejected me.

It is human nature to avoid rejection. Nothing is more painful than trying your best or giving your heart and being told it’s not good enough or unwanted. In my case, I went beyond avoiding rejection—I denied the possibility of its existence.

My childhood experiences led me to believe that …

Surviving Life’s Storms: Have Hope That Life Will Carry On

By

“I’ll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.” ~Cheryl Strayed

I have weathered my fair share of storms.

When I was in college, I met a boy a month after arriving on campus. I was eighteen, naive, and completely in love. The red flags were there by the truckload. As each red flag appeared, I darkened the tint on …

Overcoming Family Rejection & Finding Strength in Pain

By

“I don’t like being too looked up at or too looked down on. I prefer meeting in the middle to being worshipped or spat out.” ~Joni Mitchell

Growing up, there were two sides of the kitchen table. On side A, there was my lieutenant colonel of the US Army, hardcore conservative, Wall Street trader of a father who used the word “faggot” while passing the salt.

On side B, there was little ole me, who was pretty sure that I was that word my father so vehemently used.

I thought Barbies were a fun toy (Malibu Barbie was my favorite, …