Posts tagged with “strength”
It’s Okay to Need a Little Help
“Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.” ~Unknown
It’s 2004, and I awake in a student college in Melbourne, Australia. This comes as no surprise, because, at the time, I lived there.
I groggily stagger to the shared bathroom on my floor, to perform my morning washing routine. There’s nothing unusual about my lavatory procedure, so I’ll omit the details, for all of our benefits.
So far, so good. Already I’m full of optimism for today.
As I wash my hands, I glimpse myself in the …
You Have the Strength and Wisdom to Thrive Through Hard Times
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~Abraham Lincoln
Nothing can ever really prepare you for a cancer diagnosis, but it can quickly turn your life into an unplanned story.
Diagnosed at the age of twenty-eight with ocular melanoma, I was treated with surgery and proton beam therapy, and gratefully continued on with my life (though certainly a changed person).
But every year I went for a MRI of my liver/abdomen because if ocular melanoma spreads, it most likely goes to the liver. And every year when I …
Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability and Unlocking Your Power
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami
Wanting to avoid pain and shield ourselves from it is natural—and, by the way, completely not possible, because as we close up to protect ourselves against pain, we also block out the light that reflects from it.
Despite our best efforts, the boundaries that we’ve built around our hearts to protect us from feeling pain, discomfort, and hurt are the very chains that keep us tethered to it, disallowing us from feeling the opposites—joy, love and passion.
Only in embracing …
Emotions Are a Strength, Not a Design Flaw
“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~Swedish Proverb
Just get over it. Don’t be so sensitive. You should toughen up and grow a thicker skin…
I’ve heard this advice so much over my life, but I’ve never seen it make anyone happy.
Advised to toughen up with thicker skins so we can protect ourselves, we end up just bottling it up inside and pushing away how we feel, hoping it looks like we’re strong.
It’s like trying to avoid our own shadow. We believe it’s gone because it’s behind us, but it’s totally visible to anyone else who …
How to Turn Pain into Strength and Wisdom
“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown
Some would say that when it rains, it pours—a fitting statement for the events that have recently taken place in my life.
In mid-September my life took an unexpected turn. My wife, to whom I had been married for only four months (having been together for six years prior), had been acting strangely toward me.
She was suffering from fits of depression that would range from her sobbing on the couch to sitting by the fireplace, drinking heavily while listening to songs that would make your heart …
Finding the Strength to Leave: Run Toward, Not Away
“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” ~Guy Finley
It was 11pm on a Monday night and yet again I was chatting online with my friend about the woes of my failing marriage. “I just need a knight in shining armor to take me away from all of this,” I said.
“Not real life,” she said, “but you’re bright and strong, and you’ll be fine.”
I didn’t feel strong. All I could see was a mountain of practical reasons why I had to stay in this relationship: our two-year-old twins, the …
6 Lessons from Nature on Living a Peaceful, Fulfilling Life
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~Lao Tzu
Five years ago, I was feeling really stressed (like millions of other people in the world). I was working full time in a job that was draining me of every single ounce of energy I had.
I had nothing left to give to myself or those I loved at the end of each working day; life had turned into an incessant cycle of getting up, going to work, coming home, working, and going to bed.
During this time, I read about so many people who were also unhappy with …
Vulnerability Is a Sign of Strength, Not Weakness
“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brene Brown
I was raised to be determined. I was raised to put my head down and solider on during tough times, and I was raised to never be vulnerable, because being so meant you were weak.
Whether these were the intended lessons, it’s hard to say, but somewhere deep inside that is how I interpreted the messages from those who had influence in my life.
Throughout most of my life I carried these messages like suits of …
Celebrate Your Strengths Instead of Pushing Yourself to Be Better
“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” ~Epictetus
Performance reviews. Assessments. Evaluations. The dreaded annual review. Most of us have run into some kind of quality assurance technique while employed in the American workforce, or at least know someone who has.
Evaluations are a regular part of life at my place of employment and something that I am very used to by now. Typically I get good scores and the evaluation includes plenty of praise and positive acknowledgement, along with whatever constructive criticism is appropriate to the work that is …
Why Letting Ourselves Be Weak Is Actually the Key to Becoming Strong
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami
“You have to be strong.”
Those were five words I heard without end after my father was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on Black Friday 2012—a day that couldn’t have been more aptly named.
In the months following, I marched, ran, skipped, crept, stumbled, crawled, and dragged myself through the darkest valley of my life. This was uncharted territory. This was an unprecedented season for us.
My dad was a fitness junkie, running and biking every morning, performing aerobics …
Forgiving and Letting Go When You Feel Resentful
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Ghandi
My childhood was in many ways a nice childhood. I feel like a complete twit to complain about it. I know other people have gone through so much worse. I’ve read really difficult childhood stories and my heart literally bleeds for these people.
Growing up I was shy, un-confident, and withdrawn. I treated school mostly like a prison sentence. I put my head down and tried to do my time without falling in with the wrong crowd.
My parents were, and are, good parents. They provided …
Dealing with Pain or Abuse: You Can Let It Destroy You, Define You, Or Strengthen You
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown
When I was twenty-four, leaving my ex was my “something bad.” It was about as bad as it could get.
After four years of dating, I was certain marriage was right around the corner. Our lives were completely intertwined. I knew he wasn’t a great guy for me, but that didn’t matter because I truly believed I was ready to take the next step.
One night changed everything.
I found his drugs, confirming …
We Have the Strength to Move Through Pain and Uncertainty
“Suffering is not caused by pain but by resisting pain.” ~Unknown
Earlier this year our beloved puppy got sick. Not just a poorly tummy kind of sick, but proper, life-threatening, blood transfusion-requiring sick. Suddenly. Unexpectedly. She was at death’s door.
The vet was talking to us in quiet and kindly tones. Using words like “grave.”
Her illness was apparently unusual in a dog her age. Her prognosis was uncertain. She would require months of treatment that may or may not work. We were to watch her for signs of deterioration. Note changes in her appetite and energy levels.
And then …
How to Find the Motivation to Change Your Life When You Don’t Feel Capable or Worthy
“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav
Following a path of personal development isn’t easy. Oh, it’s rewarding and can be life changing, but it can also be confusing, challenging, and scary.
What if you take the wrong path? How do you know which piece of advice is right? Can you still get the results you desperately want, even if you go against some of the assumed wisdom?
One such piece of wisdom is that people should make changes in their lives and their behavior for themselves, not for …
When You’re Pretending to Be Fine: 9 Tips to Deal and Heal
“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I never thought I’d want to kill myself.
All my life, I’d been a strong, independent woman, building a business from home, raising two wonderful sons, and staying happy and positive throughout.
If you’d told me I’d one day consider taking my own life, I’d have laughed and said, “You’ve got me confused with someone else!”
But after twenty years and two sons together, my husband and I decided to split up.
So what? Separation and divorce are commonplace. You just cope with it like everyone else. I was strong, …
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