Menu

Posts tagged with “unknown”

Worrying About the Future: On Trusting in Uncertainty

By

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The other day my good friend from back home called me hysterically crying. She felt certain she just blew a second job interview, and she’d hit a breaking point.

She’d been struggling for months, just barely paying her bills and wondering if she could afford to keep her apartment.

Every purchase had become an exercise in extreme deliberation. In fact, I’m fairly certain that when I visited last, I saw her stressing in the grocery store about whether she really needed that box of Twinkies that beckoned from …

Accepting Uncertainty: We Can Be Happy Without All the Answers

By

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

I’ve recently begun to feel as though I am at a crossroads in my career and, as a result, have been feeling very uncomfortable.

I love what I do, working with clients and mentoring new therapists; however, I’m also a mom to two little ones and am feeling the ache of the impermanence of their childhood. This has left me wanting to spend more time at home with them and, therefore, possibly working less.

If you would have asked …

Dance Through the Storm of Uncertainty: 5 Tips for Grace and Peace

By

“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” ~Epictetus

I am in an unfamiliar place and I find myself waiting. It is not clear who or what I am waiting for.  I then hear a gentle tapping at the door. I approach the door, but stand before it in silence.

My pulse quickens as I wait. I make no attempt to answer the knock until a voice whispers, “It is me.”  This is when I open the door. 

I awoke from this dream feeling a bit unsettled. I couldn’t remember the …

How to Find Peace When You Feel Scared About What Might Happen

By

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

I was in shock for about ten minutes after hearing the news, afraid while lying on the procedure table, and relieved when it was over.

Six months ago I had a mammogram. My checkup was supposed to be for a general mammogram—the one you get when you turn forty—but when I got there and told the technician that two days ago I had discovered a small bump in my right breast, the prescription was changed to a diagnostic …

3 Ways to Transform Anxiety into Positive Energy

By

“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” ~Proverb

A few months ago, I moved from the metropolitan east coast to rural Indiana and bunked up with my grandparents to help them sell their house.

The house has finally sold, and now I am faced with options for where to go next. In other words, my future is completely uncertain at this point, and I’m experiencing quite a bit of anxiety over it.

On the real, I’m silently, and at times not so silently, freaking out.

Anxiety is so annoying in that it can be completely paralyzing. It is …

How to Choose Peace Instead of Stressing About the Future

By

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

I was entering a completely new stage in my life. It could have been the beginning of something great, but it was entirely foreign to me. I could handle being productive, I could handle struggling to survive, but what was hard to handle was wading through the unknown.

After working for six months in Italy and six months in Brazil I was back in the US—floating. I didn’t feel any closer to having a career. I was without a car, job, …

How to Feel Less Stressed About the Uncertain Future

By

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

“Uncertainty” may be one of the least popular places to hang out.

I hear this all the time from my clients, friends, and truth be told, from the voice inside my own head. Certainty is almost always preferable to uncertainty. Humans like to know.

I wanted to know when our house was on the market last year. Would it sell? When would it sell? How much would we get? Should we start packing up closets now, or wait until …

Embracing Uncertainty: The Future is Open, Not Empty

By

“As for the future, your task is not to foresee it but to enable it.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

A month ago, I was at a crossroads. I was unhappy with my job, I no longer wanted to be living at home, I was tired of being three states away from my boyfriend, and I was sick of feeling unfulfilled.

I knew change was coming, but what I did not know was that I was to be the catalyst.

I had moved back in with my parents after college, as I started the daunting task of job searching. I worked retail …

Standing on Your Own Two Feet and Facing Uncertainty

By

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

A year ago I was finishing my degree in the UK. And I feel in love.

I was confused about my life. What was I supposed to do after my degree? Go back home? Do a masters degree, and in what area? Stay and get a job in the UK? If yes, then what job? The questions in my mind were endless.

It was the feeling of distress and confusion you experience when you’re in a transitional phase in …

Dealing with Uncertainty: 5 Tips to Create Trust and Patience

By

“If you’re going to doubt something, doubt your own limits.” ~Don Ward

So far I’ve gone from Sydney to Melbourne, Melbourne to Moruya, Moruya to Sydney, and Sydney to Brisbane, and my Australian adventure continues.

I’m now about to depart from Brisbane and settle in on the Gold Coast in Queensland for the next few months while I get my yoga teacher certification and continue to explore this beautiful country.

It’s been five months, ten days, and four hours since I landed at the Sydney International airport from Los Angeles. When I first left, I had no real expectations other …

Letting Go of the Fear of Uncertainty and Embracing Adventure

By

“Each time you stay present with fear and uncertainty, you’re letting go of a habitual way of finding security and comfort.” ~ Pema Chodron

Being the thought-out planner with a neatly plotted road map—and a compass tightly gripped in one hand, pointing due north—I cringe a bit (okay, a lot actually) at the thought of changing direction, being adventurous, and going off the beaten path.

I’ve purposefully designed my external life for security—the cushy job, maximizing the 401K, additional streams of income to insulate the extra-super-comfy-security, a large home for a future family, long-time childhood friends, and a solid marriage.…

5 Reasons It’s OK to Not Know What the Future Holds

By

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

We spend a lot of time in life not knowing.

There are a lot of things that we’re comfortable not knowing. Not knowing a stranger’s name. Not knowing our credit card number or a friend’s address. Not knowing the capital of Vermont.

We’re comfortable with these things because we know there are answers. Even if we have to get on our smartphones for few minutes to find them, we know these things are all facts that actually exist.…

The Art of Ambivalence: Not Knowing Can Be a Good Thing

By

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins                              

I drive my wife nuts. She has absolutely no trouble deciding how she feels or what she likes and dislikes. For me, those decisions don’t come easily.

She loves comparing notes with people about their favorite movie, favorite dessert, you name it. I can never pick just one. When someone asks me what I think, the answer’s almost always some version of “It all depends.”

This puts me at a disadvantage when my wife and I argue. Not …

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Aren’t Sure What You Want in Life

By

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

There are times in life when we just don’t know what we want. These are the awkward in-between places where we feel uncertain and unsure, and perhaps even question our purpose.

There was a pivotal time in my life, after I got my Counseling Psychology Masters degree and had a private practice, when I knew I did not want to be a therapist.

I left counseling to help my husband start his fashion business, even though this was not …

How to Deal with Pain and Uncertainty

By

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.” ~C.C. Scott

A blueberry muffin, that’s the last thing we spoke about before she went under.

I didn’t know it then, but it was to be the final conversation my (middle) daughter and I would have for a very long time. I was trying to distract Nava by talking about food; in this case, the promise of the rest of her muffin when she came back from the bronchoscopy.

We were thrown a steep curve ball out of left field when Nava went for an exploratory procedure and …

7 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty So You Can Be Happier and Less Anxious

By

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

In three weeks, my boyfriend and I might move from the Bay area to LA, or we might move in here with roommates if he decides not pursue a film career.

I am starting a new work-from-home writing gig to pay my bills while I write my book. It might be something I can do in under two days a week, or it may require more time. It may provide enough money, or I might need to get some …

How to Let Go and Embrace an Uncertain Future

By

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

I used to love uncertainty. I wandered my way all around this country with little more than a suitcase and a journal. Committing to anything felt limiting, suffocating even.

One day I realized it wasn’t enlightenment that pushed me to embrace the unknown; it was a paralyzing fear of creating something certain. You can’t disappoint people when you don’t form relationships with them, and you can’t fail when you never start.

One day I decided to do the scariest …