Posts tagged with “wisdom”
The Power of Silence: How to Free Yourself from Painful Thoughts
“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at anytime and be yourself.” ~Hermann Hesse
As a child, I hated when someone told me to sit still and be quiet, and rightly so. I was young and full of energy; every minute of being still and silent was a minute of missing out on this magnificent life.
Then, as I grew older and entered into teenage and young adult years, it grew into a fear with a capital “F” of being still and silent; for as soon as I was quiet and still, the …
Why We Talk More Than We Listen and What We Gain When We Stop
“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” – Brene Brown
I like to talk. A lot.
It’s how I get ideas and work through concepts I’m not quite clear on. It’s how I get myself motivated or calm myself down.
If you let me, I would probably talk your ear off all day. As a creative grasshopper, my mind runs a mile a minute, and has no shortage of ideas to explore.
But a conversation in which people are talking, but not listening, is not really a conversation. It’s selfish, unsatisfying, and does absolutely nothing to build real connections.…
Some Things Take Time: Slow Down and Stop Pushing
“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
As life speeds up, as we check our phones and Twitter feeds for instant gratification, as we seek out another spiritual practice in the promise of evolving even faster, we have lost sight of something quite fundamental.
Some things just take time. This can apply to relationships, business, and, in my experience, it especially applies to spiritual awakening.
Yes, our practices such as meditation, dance, service, and energy work can support us on our soul journey. But rushing our development can even result in us taking one step forward and two steps …
When You’re Frustrated by a Delay: 8 Reasons to Appreciate It
“All great achievements require time.” ~Maya Angelou
We all have a picture of what we want in our heads.
We get attached to a timeline for achieving it. We fantasize about the results and how it will bring us happiness.
We begin to work hard to attain it.
But when we don’t get it right away, we get frustrated. We want things to move as quickly as possible.
If we want a relationship, we want to find our perfect partner as soon as we can. If we’re building a career or a business, we want success in months. If we …
When You Want More Love and Support in Relationships
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown
For years, I felt unfulfilled in my relationships. I often felt drained, and as if I was the only one giving and doing things for others.
I couldn’t quite understand what I was doing wrong and why relationships were so challenging for me. All I wanted to do was to feel loved and supported. Why couldn’t I get that?
Then, nearly three years ago, after a bad breakup and a ton of other relationship challenges, I reached a breaking point. I knew I …
When You Don’t Fit In: The Value of Being Different
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
When I was ten, my blonde, blue-eyed best friend gave me a label.
“I never thought I’d make friends with anyone brown,” she said. She was clearly embarrassed by her revelation and had summoned the courage to own up.
I was dumbstruck for a moment. I never really thought of myself as brown, or indeed, as anything. I was just me.
Then, wanting to get us both out of this awkward situation, and thinking of how my Sri Lankan mother would compliment my beautiful golden brown skin, I …
Why I Don’t Need Success and Validation to Be Happy
“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”~ Sonya Friedman
Five years ago I was driven, determined, and thriving. I was in the middle of a career in financial services that had started in sales, led to management, and, at that point, had me pushing myself and competing as a director in the retail banking business.
I was proud of what I had achieved and what I intended to achieve. I had the trappings of success as I saw them—the house, the car, the salary, and job title that reflected my level of achievement—and I had a huge …
How to Rise Above Difficult Circumstances and Be Happy
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~Viktor Frankl
I first got wind of this transformative concept when I was a teenager reading Man’s Search For Meaning.
It has played beautifully into what has become my life theme: how people transcend their adversities. I’ve forever been inspired by how (some) people can go through so much and yet be able to rise above and live well. I call it living well despite…
It seems to boil …
When You Feel Purposeless and Fear You’re Wasting Time
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~George Bernard Shaw
I wanted a guarantee.
I wanted to know for sure that if I tried to do something, I would like it; if I devoted my limited time to it, I’d end up somewhere good.
I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt certain this was a phenomenal failing—because if you don’t know right now what you need to do to make your life count, life will pass you by before you’ve ever had a chance to do something meaningful or …
How Taking a Step Backward Can Be the Way Forward
“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” ~KT Witten
As I said goodbye on my last day of work, I couldn’t help feeling smug. When my colleagues turned up for work on Monday morning, I’d be at home, free to do whatever I wanted with my day.
I’d resigned to explore the possibilities of a career in writing. With no clear idea of what the immediate future held, I was both nervous and excited.
I imagined myself in a few years’ time, happily making a fortune from all my creative endeavors, living a …
Dealing With Criticism: 5 Tools to Develop a Thick Skin
“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz
Have you ever opened a spring-loaded email? You know, the kind with a nasty barb inside that hits you like a punch in the gut?
My business partner and I had recently launched our new podcast, and he had forwarded me an email he’d received from a viewer.
“Just watched Episode One,” the writer said. “GREAT idea! But WAY too much talking. Want specifics, not Melissa’s self-indulgent blathering on about the creative process…”
Ouch. My vision blurred at this …
What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself
“Self-love requires you to be honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.” ~Caroline Kirk
If one more person told me to “love myself” I was going to levitate into the air and pull one of those impossible martial arts moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I was sick of it!
What the heck does loving myself mean? Were they talking about bubble baths, pedicures, and cucumber masks? It turns out there is so much more to self-love than just pampering ourselves. I found this out the hard way.
About a year …
How to Let Go of the Fear of Being Hurt Again
“Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.” ~Unknown
My pet fish died today. Red-striped fins as beautiful as always, he was swimming around in his tank only four weeks ago. First he became less active. Next he refused to eat. Then he was gone.
As I buried him in the yard, my first thought was, I don’t want to have a pet fish ever again. Awareness kicked in, and I realized that my thought was triggered by fear to experience an unpleasant circumstance such as this again.
This is how …
The Secret Recipe for a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship
“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown
Things changed. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know it’s true. You wish you could make it better. You want to fix it.
The problem is that you don’t know how.
Maybe it’s already too late, and the relationship ended despite all your efforts.
In the barrage of cliché advice and consolation you get from friends, relatives, and “experts,” the answer is as elusive as ever. It’s not helpful when people tell you that it just wasn’t meant …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.