Posts tagged with “wisdom”
Why Trauma Doesn’t Always Make Us Stronger (and What Does)
“Literally every person is messed up, so pick your favorite train wreck and roll with it.” ~Hannah Marbach
You’ve probably heard this before: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” A beautiful saying, based on what Nietzsche wrote in one of his books (Twilight of the Idols). It always makes me feel like life can’t go anywhere but up. Forward and up.
According to Nietzsche, suffering can be taken as an opportunity to build strength. No matter the pain, sickness, or trauma you experience, you will come out stronger for it—as long as you take the …
What Most People Get Wrong About Singles and 6 Messages You Might Need
“In a world that treats a forty-one-year-old single woman like a teenager who didn’t get asked to prom, I think it’s extremely important to recognize the unique wisdom of a solitary life—a wisdom that develops slowly over many years, that is fundamentally different from that of, say, the person who was between boyfriends for a year when she was twenty-six.” ~Sara Eckel
I was twenty-three and had just told a woman I was casually dating that I’d never been in a long-term committed relationship.
Her response was this: “Wow, really? I mean, you’re attractive, so why haven’t you?”
Having spent …
A Gentle Reminder to Anyone Who’s Struggling This Holiday Season
“It’s okay to want to be alone. It’s okay to take time for yourself.” ~Kate Allan
It’s the holiday season, the most wonderful time of the year, they say, but it’s not for all of us. For those of us coping with the loss of a loved one, family estrangement, loneliness, financial difficulties, or health struggles, the holidays can be one of the hardest times of the year.
For some of us the holidays can feel as if we have been cast out in the cold. As if we are forced to look through a window of a happy, …
How I Knew It Was Emotional Abuse: The Subtle Signs I Almost Missed
“I hope you find love, but more importantly, I hope you’re strong enough to walk away from what love isn’t.” ~Tiffany Tomiko
A few weeks after breaking up from what I thought was a loving relationship that in reality was sliding into an emotionally abusive one, I had a dream.
In it, I was hiding from a group of dangerous people, but could see the footsteps of one of them coming toward me. Suddenly they saw me, and I pleaded to them, “Please, don’t kill me,” and they turned and left. When I emerged, I could see the victims all …
How I Got Sober and What I Now Know About the Impacts of Alcohol
“Sometimes deciding who you are is deciding who you’ll never be again.” ~Anonymous
May 13th, 2011. I finally surrendered to the fact that I had a drinking problem and desperately needed help. The comments from acquaintances, the concern from friends, the complaints from my flatmates, the intensity of my depression, the conversations with my therapist—they all culminated in the decision that I had to break the chains from my liquid abuser.
It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, one that entailed waving goodbye to the life that I had led before and diving into a …
4 Things I Needed to Accept to Let Go and Heal After Trauma
TRIGGER WARNING: This post references sexual abuse and may be triggered to some people.
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~Steve Maraboli
My family immigrated to the U.S. from India when I was sixteen. Being Indian, my traditional family expected me to have an arranged marriage.
At twenty-two, as a graduate music student, I fell in love with an American man. When my family found out about our secret relationship, they took me back to India and …
The Best Way to Deal with Dissatisfaction (It’s Not What You Think)
“Trying to change ourselves does not work in the long run because we are resisting our own energy. Self-improvement can have temporary results, but lasting transformation occurs only when we honor ourselves as the source of wisdom and compassion.” ~Pema Chodron, The Places That Scare You
In my late thirties, I was a yoga teacher and an avid practitioner. I lived by myself in a small but beautiful studio apartment in Tel Aviv, Israel, right next to the beach.
Every morning I woke up in my large bed with a majestic white canopy and said a morning prayer. I …
I Cheated on Him with My Higher Self (and We’re Still Going Strong)
“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you. And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.” ~Angelica Moone
“How could you do this to me? It’s obvious you’re with someone else.”
That was the third and final message I received from my partner of nearly three years, several weeks after we had finally decided to break up. I …
You Have Just Five Minutes Left to Live – What Are Your Deathbed Regrets?
“Yesterday was heavy—put it down.” ~Unknown
Death is still taboo in many parts of the world, yet I must confess that I’ve become fascinated with the art of dying well.
I was thinking about the word “morbid” the other day, as I heard someone use it when berating her friend for his interest in better preparing for death. The word’s definition refers to “an unhealthy fixation on death and dying,” but who gets to define what’s healthy? And why are so many of us keen to avoid discussing the inevitable?
We talk about death from time to time on our …
11 Important Things I’ve Learned in 11 Years of Marriage
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” ~Dave Meurer
My husband and I will soon be celebrating our eleventh anniversary. By no means do we have the perfect marriage or are we the perfect couple. Over our eleven years of marriage, I’ve recognized a few critical areas needed to build a solid and lasting union as a couple.
Here are eleven things I’ve learned in eleven years of marriage.
1. Communicate.
In the early days of my marriage, I was terrible at communicating my feelings …
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