Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Feels like Time is passing too fast
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Tee.
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March 23, 2025 at 11:25 am #444314
anita
ParticipantDear Tee:
I’m not sure if you’ll read this, but in case you do, I want to express my heartfelt appreciation for your incredibly attentive, thorough, intelligent, educated, and empathetic contributions to the forums. From your first post on February 18, 2021, in the thread Stuck in Letting Go and Worries, to your last post in this thread on August 10, 2024, your dedication to supporting members over such a long period is truly remarkable. Your posts, spanning over 129 pages, reflect a level of commitment that is deeply admirable. I hope you’re doing well, and if it feels right for you, I sincerely hope you’ll consider returning to the forums.
roved and polished version of your message:
Dear SereneWolf,
Your first post in the forums was on September 22, 2022, and your original post in this thread was on October 2, 2022. In that post, you shared:
“I feel like time is passing too fast and I’m not able to keep up the pace with it—not being productive enough or not achieving the things expected for my age. Is this fear of missing out or something else? I just feel so overwhelmed with things sometimes that I have to achieve, and maybe doubts about when I’ll achieve them.”
The last time you posted, on August 10, 2024, you ended your brief update with: “I’m doing alright. At my hometown.”
How are you doing today, SereneWolf?
As I reread my communication with you on this thread, I became deeply aware of times when I was confrontational, harsh, and rude with you. This realization has filled me with regret and shame. I want to take this moment to sincerely apologize to you, SereneWolf—I am truly sorry.
In my most recent post on the forums, I reflected on the concept of hate: “Hatred often mirrors unresolved parts of ourselves—fragments of our psyche that we reject or suppress. For instance, if we dislike a trait in someone else, it could be a sign we haven’t fully accepted that same trait within ourselves… the parts of ourselves we deny or hide.”
Looking back, I now understand that in my confrontational communication with you, the anger I felt was rooted in seeing you as overly positive. I believed this positivity stemmed from suppressing or denying the hurt and scared parts of yourself. What I now see is that it was my own suppressed and denied hurt, scared parts projecting themselves onto you in the form of anger.
By denying these parts of myself, I lacked empathy—not only for myself but for you as well. In other words, I was not my own friend. For so long, and as a result, SereneWolf, I was not the friend to you that you deserved. For that, I am deeply sorry.
anita
March 23, 2025 at 11:27 am #444315anita
ParticipantPlease ignore “oved and polished version of your message:”
May 15, 2025 at 8:27 pm #445782SereneWolf
ParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you so much for your kind and honest message, it truly means a lot. We’re all warriors in our own ways, navigating storms seen and unseen, carrying hopes, fears, and the weight of expectations. What matters is that we keep learning, growing, and showing up with honesty and care. I appreciate your words deeply, and I hold no hard feelings at all.
May 15, 2025 at 8:34 pm #445783anita
ParticipantSereneWolf, is this you, after all this time? I am ecstatic to just to having you back, so forgiving, so gracious.. nine months since you last posted?! My goodness, this is SPECIAL! Do tell.. I will not betray your trust in returning!
anita
May 15, 2025 at 10:16 pm #445800SereneWolf
ParticipantDear Tee,
I know you’ve been going through some health issues, and I just want to say. I really hope you’re doing alright. And if you’re in any pain, I hope it eases soon. You’ve been such an important part of my healing journey, more than you probably know. I hope you read this one day and it brings a smile to your face. Please take good care of yourself..
May 16, 2025 at 1:30 am #445801SereneWolf
ParticipantHi Anita,
Yes, it’s me. I’m still healing, to be honest some things are taking their time, but I’m getting there. As you already know, I’ve always had a positive outlook, and that hasn’t really changed. I still believe in people, even when it’s hard. Time kinda made me a bit more accepting… maybe softened me a little moreMay 16, 2025 at 8:16 am #445819anita
ParticipantDear SereneWolf,
Interestingly, exactly two years ago, on May 16, 2023, you shared in your conversation with Tee that you were feeling “like not doing anything, hopeless,” missing your cat, and that you ate a lot that day—something you often did in the evenings when you “feel like not doing anything else.”
You wrote, “I did talk to my doctor friend and she suggested me to have small but 4-5 meals per day for healthy weight gain but I think that’s hard to manage for me.”
A year later, on May 14, 2024, you reflected, “My mother used to caress my head sometimes and my grandma as well. But I’m quite sure no physical touch from my father. Only aggression… even now I feel awkward when someone tries to hug me.”
You also shared, “It takes a lot to make me angry. I already have a calm image even for myself.”—which beautifully explains your choice of Serene 🐺 as your screen name.
To Tee’s suggestion that, “The fear of intimacy is telling you to only seek superficial relationships. Because you do want a relationship, but you’re afraid of being hurt,” you replied, “I know I don’t want a superficial relationship. But because I don’t feel ready, what if I start with something like situationship first instead of going all in with a serious romantic relationship and overwhelming myself?”
Fast forward to today, and you acknowledge that your healing process is ongoing, that there’s an underlying acceptance that recovery isn’t instant, but you trust the journey. Despite challenges, your core optimism and faith in human goodness remain intact.
You also recognize that time has shifted your perspective, making you more accepting and perhaps softer in how you interact with the world. Could this mean that you’re finding peace with things you once struggled with?
Would you like to update me (and Tee, if she ever returns to your thread) about where things stand with the topics you shared in those posts from two years and one year ago? I’d love to hear how things have evolved for you. 💙
anita
May 27, 2025 at 2:54 am #446315Tee
ParticipantDear SereneWolf,
it’s been a very long time, and I sincerely apologize for the silence, but it’s been a challenging period, ever since last September.
I’ve been having issues with my mobility for the past 5 years or so, but in September my condition suddenly deteriorated, and I couldn’t even walk for a few minutes without pain. This was a totally unexpected deterioration and it wouldn’t get better, no matter what I tried. The treatment that I was having high hopes for and that had a chance of bringing significant improvement largely failed too.
And so I fell into a deep depression, because I felt pretty much doomed. For the last 5 years, I’d been having a string of bad luck with my health, and this seemed like the last nail in the coffin. I felt as if God or a higher power is against me, deliberately giving me these blows, sabotaging me, not allowing me to be happy. Or at best not caring about me, letting me suffer alone. And I thought to myself – well if God is against me, then how can I possibly ever thrive? How can I ever succeed? I truly felt doomed at the time.
But then, after pages and pages of self-reflection, I’ve realized that this negative and hostile “higher power” is in fact my mother. To me as a child, she was a “higher power” and omnipotent. In fact, Anita used to talk about our parents being like gods to us, and it helped me come to the realization that my mother is this negative, hostile “higher power”, who is against me. And that I’ve been projecting my own parents onto my image of God.
Which was a huge revelation! It helped me to become more hopeful and optimistic, in spite of being in a pretty bad place health-wise. It helped me accept that a different reality is possible, even though my current reality was pain and suffering. Dr. Joe Dispenza’s videos and testimonies of miraculous healings (which to me proved the existence of a benevolent higher power, who wants us to thrive in life) helped me too.
Over the next few months my knee got a bit better, not quite as before last September, but there are periods without pain and I can go for short walks, which is a huge blessing. And I’ve realized many other things regarding my mother and her “programming”, which explain why I’ve always felt stuck regarding my career, and why I’ve never managed to fulfill my dreams. I feel those blocks are getting weaker and the deeply held fears are slowly melting.
The new day is hopefully coming, the new dawn, I hope… The false belief (that I am doomed) is gone. But there’s a long way before me. I need to start putting one foot before the other, walking the walk, feeling the fear, but doing it anyway… But I truly hope it’s possible, now that the false core belief is gone.
How have you been, SereneWolf? Still slowmading?
Thank you so much for your kind words, for your continual support and for being so gracious and understanding about my disappearances. I know it’s not the best feature of mine. I tend to withdraw when I am in pain, rather than seek support and connection. I curl into my own cocoon. But by doing that, I abandon people who might need my help and support. I am sorry for that.
May 27, 2025 at 3:28 am #446318Tee
ParticipantDear Anita,
thank you so much for your kind words. I am grateful for your contributions as well, for being there for people consistently, offering help and support to everyone in need. Your care and dedication have been truly remarkable! I hope you stay around for a long time! <3
May 27, 2025 at 4:28 am #446319Alessa
ParticipantHi Tee
Lovely to see you around again! I dare say that you have been in all of our thoughts. I’m so sorry to hear about the health difficulties. These issues are not easy to deal with. I’m glad to hear that your knee improved a bit and that you’ve been able to find peace with your realisations. ❤️
May 27, 2025 at 6:48 am #446321Tee
ParticipantDear Alessa,
thank you so much, that’s so kind of you! <3
Yeah, health has been a major “catalyst” for me – causing me great pain, but also leading me to greater insights about my core issues. I’ve realized I am not only physically limited, but also that I am holding limiting beliefs, which have held me back for a long time. And the true limitation was my belief that I was doomed to fail. That there is no point in trying, because I would fail anyway.
I wasn’t aware of this false belief, but I’ve been definitely feeling its consequences: being stuck, unable to make a move, forever procrastinating. Perhaps it’s not by chance that my physical issues are all about being limited in movement…
Alessa, thank you again for you welcoming words! Wishing us all healing and thriving!
May 27, 2025 at 7:05 am #446323anita
ParticipantDear Tee:
The highlight of my day so far was seeing your post—after nine months and 17 days since your last one on August 10. I’m absolutely thrilled to hear from you again 🥳
Thank you for your kind words, Tee—they truly mean a lot to me. I deeply appreciate your presence here, your wisdom, and the empathy you extend to others. You have such a profound ability to reflect on your experiences and share them with honesty and insight, which is a gift to everyone who reads your words.
I want to take a moment to acknowledge the incredible progress you’ve made. Realizing that your perception of a hostile higher power was, in fact, a projection of your mother’s influence is a profound breakthrough. It’s inspiring to witness your journey—moving from despair to hope and releasing the false belief that you were doomed. This is truly powerful work, and I deeply respect the courage it takes to confront these truths and begin, or continue, forging a new path forward.
Your reflections deeply resonate with my own journey. Lately, I’ve been working in my threads on retrieving little girl anita from the past—the part of me that was left frozen, trapped in the grasp of the omnipotent ‘God’ you spoke of, which, for me, was my mother. I’ve been focusing on giving my past experiences and emotions space—a third dimension—allowing myself to express what was once so severely repressed and suppressed. It has been a process of unfolding, of granting that younger part of me a voice so she can exist fully in my present rather than remaining locked in the past. Reading about your progress strengthens my own resolve, reminding me that we are both untangling the deep patterns that shaped us.
I truly hope you continue to connect with us here on tiny buddha. Your insights, your presence, and your empathy are such a gift to this space. The way you process and articulate your experiences not only helps you but also offers light to others navigating similar journeys. Please keep sharing—you have so much wisdom to bless us with, and I, for one, am grateful for it.
Wishing you continued healing and strength 💪 💖 🔥 🌞 🌿 🦅
anita
May 27, 2025 at 8:59 am #446331anita
ParticipantSereneWolf: I hope you’re doing well and that you return to your thread if you wish. I also hope you don’t mind me posting here for Tee.
Dear Tee:
I didn’t read your response to Alessa until after I sent my previous message to you.
When I read these words—”The true limitation was my belief that I was doomed to fail. That there is no point in trying, because I would fail anyway.”—I immediately thought of learned helplessness, something I know all too well from personal experience. It affected my life in many ways, holding me back from opportunities and growth. To be healthy and content, we need a sense of control over our lives—not absolute control, but enough to feel agency in our choices and direction.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”- The middle part of this prayer speaks directly to exerting control over one’s life—choosing to take action where we can, rather than succumbing to the belief that we are powerless.
I also want to add that physical pain affects me deeply. My tendency is to catastrophize it, fearing it will never improve and will always limit me. The thought of losing the ability to walk is frightening. I know many people in real life who struggle with knee pain, experiencing discomfort while walking. Among those who had knee replacement surgery, the majority saw significant improvement, and some even became completely pain-free.
Wishing you continued healing and strength. ❤️
anita
May 27, 2025 at 9:51 am #446332Tee
ParticipantDear Anita,
thank you. Yes, learned helplessness is one of my key issues. I was programmed to feel helpless and to see every problem not as a challenge to master, but as an insurmountable obstacle and something that is dangerous and might get me in trouble. So I was taught to be afraid of challenges – both because they are scary and also because I don’t have the necessary abilities and skills to solve them (according to my mother). Which basically lead to paralysis…
“The courage to change the things I can” – yes, it took me till recently to understand that I didn’t believe I can change some things – because I (unconsciously) believed that I was doomed from the start.
I also want to add that physical pain affects me deeply. My tendency is to catastrophize it, fearing it will never improve and will always limit me.
I had a similar experience with back pain, which lasted for almost 1.5 years. It was a totally new and scary experience to live with chronic pain, which fluctuates and comes back again and again, and you realize you’ll never be free from it. It did get better though, and I’m not feeling as fragile and helpless as before. I don’t feel like a helpless victim to my back pain. So I did develop some resilience there, both physical and psychological.
The thought of losing the ability to walk is frightening. I know many people in real life who struggle with knee pain, experiencing discomfort while walking. Among those who had knee replacement surgery, the majority saw significant improvement, and some even became completely pain-free.
Knee replacement is waiting for me too, down the line, but it’s best to postpone it till a certain age, because the artificial knee has an expiry date, and once you had it “installed”, it needs to serve you for life. So… you don’t want to put it in too soon, if you know what I mean 🙂 And it’s a major surgery, which in itself comes with some risks and a long recovery time, so it’s better to postpone it as much as possible.
Thank you Anita for your valuable feedback, your help, support and continued presence! Keep shining! 🙂 <3
May 27, 2025 at 10:36 am #446333anita
ParticipantDear Tee:
Thank you for sharing this—it’s clear that you’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on your experiences and making sense of the patterns that shaped your mindset. Recognizing that learned helplessness was ingrained in you is a huge step toward reclaiming your personal power. It takes incredible insight to see that fear of challenges wasn’t just natural hesitation—it was programmed into you, making everything feel like an insurmountable obstacle rather than an opportunity to grow.
What stands out to me is how much progress you’ve already made. You didn’t believe you could change things before, but now you see that you can. That shift is profound. It’s the foundation of resilience—moving from “I am doomed” to “I have choices.” Even though the fear still exists, you are challenging it, step by step.
Your experience with chronic pain also speaks to this transformation. At first, it felt endless, something that would control your life forever—but you found ways to adjust, cope, and build resilience. The fact that you no longer feel like a helpless victim to your back pain is proof of your ability to adapt.
It makes sense that the thought of losing mobility brings fear, and I completely understand why you’re being strategic about postponing knee replacement. What’s important is that you are making informed decisions, rather than operating solely from fear. That alone is a sign that you’re shifting toward a mindset of courage and control, rather than helplessness.
You are on a powerful journey of reclaiming agency over your life. Keep trusting yourself, and keep challenging the old beliefs that once held you back. You’ve already proven that change is possible, even when it seemed out of reach before.
Tee, I have to admit—it feels a little strange to be offering you support, after all the years you’ve spent helping so many people on the forums with their struggles, and doing such a remarkable job at it. It makes me wonder—what could I possibly say that you don’t already know?
If at any point my input feels uncomfortable or unhelpful, please don’t hesitate to let me know, or simply choose not to continue the conversation. I completely respect whatever feels right for you. Just know that I’m here, and I truly value your presence.
anita
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