Hi Anita, How r u?

Even with time i dont feel much better. I feel that my situation has become worst n i still feel down. Im unable to forget the beyrayal.  But i was quiet n didnt want to tell anyone bcoz i didnt knw what to say or do.

One week ago he came to my office and brought a thread with a wish to be tied in my mosque. He told me to tie this in my mosque and he said its our wish which we made for each other when we were together. But i didnt accept it coz i dont knw what his wish is  exactly.

So he went away. After few days i connected my social media account eventhough i have blocked him on all communication modes i never deleted him so i connected and he knew i got im active. So after one day he started posting few random pics of him and his family taking gifts and going to his new girls place. I was so hurt to see that. In the meantime he posted few pics of his trip which he went with his friends and she has commented saying ‘ someone is enjoying since its his last bachelors trip’ meaning they have planned everything abt their wedding. I saw all these n got very angry and i deleted him off immediately.

He has planned everything with her and brings n gives me a wish saying its our wish. I dont understand hes playing with my feelings. Also i saw he has liked his ex girl friends pics. He deleted her bcoz of me but after he left me he has agsin connected with her. Same day he realized i deleted him n he sent me a friend requesr again. The next day he himself cancel the request again.

I just cant beleive if i had loved such a person. All in all i still cant tolarate what he did to me.

If he at least cared for me he shouldnt have shared pics of his visit to her place. It really hurts me.

Nothing seems working for me to move on.  Im just tired of everything Anita.

Im so glad that u remembered me. Really appreciate ur kindness.

Risha

Hi Anita and Michelle,

I had to attend a farewell dinner of my ex boss on Thursday night. There was a guy whom my ex never liked in office and that person use to like me sometime ago. However he’s married now and he too was invited to this party but I didn’t know until I saw him that night. This person tried to reach me several times to say hi to me but I somehow managed to avoid him totally.

So my so-called ex boyfriend somehow got to know that I attended this party and also that other person was also invited. So he sent me an email last night accusing me saying that I have been hanging out with that other person that night and that he had dropped me home which is not true. Also he mentioned that he now thinks that he took the right decision in his life by letting me go.

It was so hurtful to read that email. He left me for his own reasons and now accusing me and blaming me. I couldn’t tolerate it so I unblocked him on whatsapp and sent him a voice note asking him to stop torturing me and told him all what I felt and to leave me alone. I was almost tearing while talking but I had to send that and again I blocked him off. but before I blocked he messaged me saying he doesn’t want to hear anything and for me to leave his life and to go and hang on to the other person and do whatever I want.  Also he has mentioned that will tell my family about the other man.

So thereafter I blocked him again. I feel terribly hurt and miserable. Since then I feel so down again. How could he make such statements about me and he made me a characterless person.

He’s just finding reasons to move on by blaming me. Now I wonder why did I even send that voice note coz he is a heartless person whatever I said wouldn’t matter to him. I am very disappointed the way he has treated me, I hope nobody should ever experience this kind of selfish treatment. I am very hurt inside he just destroyed all my happiness. I feel worthless and lost.

Risha

I know Anita he has mentally drained me. I really cant believe if I loved such a confused person. But he never liked me mingling or hanging out with anyone. He always caged me saying this and that and proving that he was protecting me.

I’m totally tired of everything. I really don’t think I could trust someone ever again coz this relationship has disappointed me in many ways. I have to come to point where I don’t understand the meaning of Love and trust.

when you are “very hurt”, feeling “worthless  and lost”, you are  giving  an insane  man the power to  determine  your worth – I know Anita I don’t know why am I affected by his unrealistic statements. But he always does this to me.

I hope after the message I sent him last night he wouldn’t bother me ever again. I hope he realized the pain I was going through.

Risha

Hi Anita,

You’re so right even after explaining him last week to stop bothering me and to leave me alone he again called me couple of times yesterday and  have dropped me a email saying ” I have failed and I have betrayed our love by going to that party” and he has used some abusive words asking if that other person dropped me home after the party. Whatever he has said didn’t affect me though so I just ignored. I mean whatever I do now shouldn’t be a concern of his coz he’s the one who left me with his so -called decision. But I really don’t understand why is he behaving this way.

My friends wants me to complain about him to his parents or to his new girlfriend so that he stops torturing me but I really don’t want to fall into their level coz even his family is very selfish and that girl too looks very easy going not bothered. So I  don’t want to talk to any of them. But sometimes I wonder if I should tell his parents or should I completely ignore.

Risha

Hi Anita, How are you? Its been sometime since I came online. I hope you remember me? unfortunately I haven’t still got over my issue and am still badly hurt.

Last time that I wrote to you he was bothering me by calling me and in December end he has sent a message to my sister blaming me and have told that I have contacts with some married people and that’s why his parents didn’t like me, Also he has mentioned that he lied to me about having a new girlfriend and he didn’t like the way I was reacting. I was so sad and worried to hear all these stuff from my family. So my sis has immediately called him and scolded him saying not to bother me again and not to tarnish my character. she has told him knowing her for 7 good years and at the last minute how could you accuse her with such things. But she has spoken to him very badly coz she was so hurt for all what I had to go thru.

My sis is very tough and I can imagine how rude she would have been. so I called him after couple of days and asked him why he did that to me and he said he wanted to protect me. I was so annoyed and I told him not to bother me again and I asked him about what he told my sis that he was lying about the other girl. Then he told me after my sis spoke he took the decision of getting married to her but I already told him that I still love him but he said sorry you’re sis was so rude and I really don’t wanna work things out. So again he basically blamed me and my family. from the other side I saw him posting pics with that girls family and all his family members are in her profile and they are together. I was so sad. he has gone too far with her and tells my sister that its a lie by blaming me and tells me that he will marry her bcoz my family was rude to him.

he’s twisting the stories here and there so I warned him not to bother me ever again and after that I sent him a email also. Then he replied me saying he doesn’t understand English and to explain it to him word by word in his mother tongue. I was so hurt to receive such respond but didn’t write him back. Thereafter its been one month he has not tried to get in touch with me.

I know I wanted him to stop bothering me but deep down my heart im so sad and hurt when he’s quiet too. I know hes not gonna come back to me ever and I should face the reality but I don’t know how to move on I feel lonely and I miss him badly.

coming to work is like killing me. I use to cry everyday at work and I  finally dicided to get some help from a therapist coz I knew I was depressed. The therapist was very kind and she was sad for the time I have wasted in this relationship and also she was not happy that I have taken a very long time for grieving since last September. Since she wants me to come out of this mess fast she has prescribed me some anti depression medication but im not very happy to take it. However I feel very low and sometimes feel like taking it coz I want t live my normal life.

Nobody knows that I consulted a therapist and im not gonna tell any of my family or friends