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I need Help…Again!

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Viewing 15 posts - 136 through 150 (of 158 total)
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  • #380883
    TeaK
    Participant

    Dear lk09,

    I’d like to congratulate you on your paper having been accepted at a reputable journal and soon to be published! It’s also very good to hear that you’re looking for PhD programs either abroad or in India. I wish you to find a really good option, one that you like and that motivates you.

    If you go to study abroad, would it give you respite from your parents’ plans to find you a husband? Because it could be an additional benefit 🙂

    I hope your job situation improves soon – either in your current company, or somewhere else, where you’ll have a better opportunity for growth. Perhaps it can help you to think the situation (being underpaid and overworked) is temporary, and it will be resolved in the next few months…

    I want to have a happy life now on, life will always have challenges but I don’t want to be stressed about everything all the time. Some dept. should be peaceful, shouldn’t it?

    Right, you were stressed a lot in your previous relationship, you were trying to save him, and it never works. If one side is trying too much and the other is unwilling, it doesn’t end well. I hope that next time it will be much more balanced, and the other party be equally willing and invested in the relationship, without carrying too much “baggage”.

    It appears you’re feeling good about yourself at the moment, appreciating yourself and not blaming yourself for why it didn’t work out. Am I noticing this right? If so, you’re in a good place, and I am happy for you!

     

    #380926
    Ik09
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I will post again in a few days. Currently, i rarely get time to write during weekdays. Stay safe, stay healthy and happy.

    <3

    #380927
    Ik09
    Participant

    Hi TeaK,

    Yeah, Currently I focus all my energy only on being happy and stress-free. I have been working really hard at work due to the pressure but I am also focusing whatever little time i get before bed in finding a good programme for me.

    Yes, studying further might push the marriage but I don’t want to say that to my parents because they might not let me go if they get to know.

    I hope you are healthy and happy as well. I will write again in a few days. <3

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Ik09.
    #380930
    TeaK
    Participant

    Dear lk09,

    by any means, don’t tell your parents that you see postponing marriage as one of the bonuses… They should think you’re motivated only by advancing professionally, in your career 😉

    I am very happy to hear you’re feeling happy and taking care of yourself. I am fine, thanks, feeling good as well, happy that the pandemic is lessening and that summer is coming 🙂

    Take care, and looking forward to reading from your more! <3

     

    #381899
    anita
    Participant

    Thinking about you, Ik09, hoping you are well!

    anita

    #382012
    Ik09
    Participant

    Hi Anita, I have been trying to keep myself calm and composed but it’s not exactly happening.

    I feel so bad about my work currently that every Sunday night gives me anxiety thinking about the next day. I survived 6 months here but on Saturday evening after crying a lot, I made my mind to look for other jobs.

    The company suffered losses during the lockdown and now they make the new employees work on weekends as well. We cover work of three or more job roles. And the remuneration is either not on time or paid less saying that we will pay the remaining amount next month and the cycle continues.

    I first thought that maybe I am not working hard enough that is why they are not paying well… But despite working all the time… I get the same results.

     

    Everything in my life was sour… My only hope currently was my job… It gave me a sense of appreciation for myself that i am adding value to a company… Now I feel depressed about Mondays because I am working on weekends as well so there is no personal life left. And every week, they keep increasing the work.

     

    On the sidelines, my father sent me a picture of a guy. The guy and his family have also received my picture and are going through details about my qualifications and my family currently.

    My father said once they like my profile then the talks will proceed. I am not too excited even now. But I am hopeful, my mom knows I haven’t moved on and she keeps listening to me regarding work issues and encourages me to be positive. I have been very irritable these days, if someone jokes about the same thing more than thrice, I shout at them to stop and leave me alone.

    I don’t know if I am not competent enough to work or is my work situation actually bad…

     

     

    Sorry for venting out. I spoke to my friends too but she just got her job so I didn’t want to scare her by telling about work in such negative light.

     

    How are you doing??

    #382014
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ik09:

    I am glad you asked how I am doing because I need to vent just a bit: I moved far north and live on top of a mountain with lots of trees around, and enjoyed a few years of  mild summers (never a need for an air conditioner) and cold winters. But this weekend, the temperatures hit record highs and there is no escape from the heat. Residents here know that these temperatures never happened before in this area. Yesterday at the local taproom there was a discussion about global warming and I feel that the-end-of-the-world is upon us. The “best” news is that tomorrow will be even  hotter than today!

    Other than that, I am fine, thank you for asking (I would have added an emoji here if I knew how!)

    “I first thought that maybe I am not working hard enough that is why they are not paying well… But despite working all the time… I get the same results… I don’t know if I am not competent enough to work or is my work situation actually bad”- they are paying you less not because you are incompetent, but because, like you wrote, the company suffered losses due of the pandemic (but maybe, just maybe, they are able to pay more than they are currently paying employees, but are using the pandemic as an excuse not to).

    “I have been very irritable these days, if someone jokes about the same thing more than thrice, I shout at them to stop and leave me alone”- I will make sure then that I don’t repeat my (rare) jokes more then twice!

    “Sorry for venting out”- no problem. You vented and I vented (while having an ice pack on my chest to cool off).

    anita

     

    #382053
    Ik09
    Participant

    I can understand your situation, I am thankful for Monsoons(Rain Clouds that come from Indian Ocean) otherwise the summer heat is quite a lot here… 44°-48°C was the range this summer. Fans won’t help and I don’t have AC in my room… Unless a person Sleeps in our living room which has an AC, they will be roasted in the heat overnight (laughing emoji)

     

    Don’t worry, I will get over the irritation soon as I know now that everything is coming from the work pressure. I will draw the boundaries now. How much I can handle and how much I cannot. And the reason you pointed out… I suspect the same because only the new employees have issues with payments… All the ones in senior position are drawing good salaries (Disappointed emoji).

    #382069
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ik09:

    It is over 40 Degrees Celsius here since Friday and expected to remain into the week. The average in June is about 15 degrees!!! I was so happy to live here because of the lower temperatures in summer, but that has changed this weekend. After submitting this post I will go for a walk before the heavy heat begins (it is now 7:40 am, a bit late for the walk). I want to tell you about my walk and a bit more, after I return.

    anita

    #382071
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ik09:

    It is a shame that your company takes advantage of new employees. Feeling used/ taken advantaged of, on top of being overworked and underpaid, is hard to take. I do hope you find a job with a different company.

    I am back from my walk, glad it’s over- I walked fast because I was not alone on the walk: vicious flies joined me at places, bumping into me. I want to be more exact about the temperatures I told you about: the average high temp here for June is 21 degrees. The all-time record high this weekend is over 40 degrees (I am translating from Fahrenheit).

    In Mumbai, I see online, it’s 29 degrees and rainy, at 10 pm . I hope the temperatures are lower and that it’s raining where you live as well. I am now sitting in front of the computer post-shower with ice tea to drink, and a pack of ice against my body. I hope that you are comfortable too and that you sleep well tonight!

    anita

    #382081
    Ik09
    Participant

    I live a little far away from Mumbai… more towards the east… It was sunny today and the temperature right now at 2:00 am is 27°C i.e 80.6°F but I am used to heat. I find the cold unbearable. Yet I took a shower and came to bed after wrapping work. 🙂

    I hope it rains your side as well so that the weather cools a bit… I can understand how irritating hot weather is. Stay cool and keep me posted! xoxo

    #382083
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ik09:

    I want that 27 degrees! Thank you for translating it to Fahrenheit. I keep having to soak my legs in the cold water in the bathtub so to cool down and the ice in my ice packs melt too fast. I put the ice pack on the computer as well, so that it doesn’t over-heat. Thank you for asking me to keep you posted- it helps me to not be alone in this heat, so to speak.

    But it is more important that at 2 am you go to sleep! Good night, Ik09 (sweaty face emoji, lol)

    anita

    #382172
    Ik09
    Participant

    Just saw the news, heatwave in U.S.A and Canada caused roads to crack…. I can imagine how you must be.

    Water also warms up so it isn’t so that one can go take cool showers…

    Try finding out if there are any natural streams where you can go swimming… Those will be relaxing… As well as shaded areas around trees are nice… So if there are some parks with big trees where you can camp during the day… It can be relaxing to you.

    Distract your mind with books or movies (phone does not help) ….. Stories ease the mind… So drop in some engaging fictional world. I use this during my unbearable period cycles.

    Nights will be tough- but at least during the day, you can relax a bit.

     

    Tell me if any of these is possible…

    #382183
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ik09:

    Thank you so much for your concern and suggestions, I am touched that you cared to post to me after watching the news. I am glad to report to you that in my area the heat wave has passed. It lasted Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and was gone Tuesday. It was still very warm Tuesday, starting at 11+ am, but about 20 Degrees Fahrenheit  (7 Degrees Celsius, I think)  less hot, which is a big difference. Right now, Wed 7 am, it is chilly- like in a normal summer day, in this area.

    As far as the water being warm during a heat wave- I know it happens, but here- during the heat wave- the water was cold, so I filled in the tub with cold water and soaked in it every so often to cool off. I also used ice packs against my body (they melted quickly). Global warming is an undeniable reality, which means that in the future, there will be more heat waves and new temperature records.

    Again, thank you for your concern, I greatly appreciate it!

    anita

    #382189
    Ik09
    Participant

    Hii,

    That is great news! I will tell you if something changes on my end. Since it is mid week so work is heavily on my mind. Tell me something, which ice cream flavor do you like best?

    – Your friend Ik09

Viewing 15 posts - 136 through 150 (of 158 total)

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