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The Power of Patience: Let Go of Anxiety and Let Things Happen

Sitting in Stillness

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs

Patience can be a struggle.

I know this firsthand. My experience with impatience used to be confined to overusing the microwave or skipping to the end of a long novel.

Back then, when waiting at a traffic light for more than two minutes seemed like an eternity, I didn’t know that life would teach me several advanced lessons in patience.

Shortly after finishing my morning bike ride I started feeling queasy. I wondered what was happening, but tried to ignore the feeling. The queasiness was replaced with severe abdominal pain, and I had to be rushed to the hospital.

Waiting in the emergency room for hours while in deep physical pain was a first test of patience. I passed the test because I had no other option. I couldn’t wait to be told I had indigestion and to be sent back home.

When the ER doctor came into my tiny room and announced they would need to perform an appendectomy, I didn’t ask if I would be okay. Instead, I asked, “When will I heal? How long is it going to take?”

Smiling, the doctor answered, “Two weeks.” I panicked. I could not possibly be in bed for two weeks! But the two weeks turned into four, and by the fourth week, I had finally learned my first advanced lesson: to be humble.

My experience recovering from surgery taught me to slow down and to listen to my body, and once I allowed myself to relax, the healing happened.

A few years later, I was tested again, and this test would prove itself to be one of the hardest challenges in my life. I lost one of the people closest to me. This was someone who I thought would always be there for me.

Beyond devastated, I fell into a depression. It wasn’t an immobilizing depression, but it led me to a period of deep grief and sadness.

Weeks and months went by, but my negative feelings seemed to remain unchanged. Anxiety and fear crept in. I wanted to heal, but it wasn’t happening. The most pressing question in my head was, “When am I finally going to heal?”

People would tell me, “You’ll be fine,” or “This too shall pass.” I listened to them, acknowledged their good intentions, and understood the message they wanted to convey. And yet, healing still didn’t happen.

I was not able to heal until I was willing to be patient with myself and my emotions. 

It was only when I let the feelings be and stopped putting a timeframe to my healing that I created the space my soul needed to receive the answer to my question: When will I heal?

The first answer I received is that in a universe in which everything is in divine order, things might not happen as quickly as we want them to happen.

The second answer is that, in order to heal, we need to take down the subconscious wall of anxiety built by our impatience. Once I took down this wall, grief lost its power over me.

When I became patient, I realized I was in control, and once I gained control, emotional and spiritual healing started to manifest.

Regardless of how fast I was healing, I wasn’t concerned about how quickly it happened. A Course in Miracles says, “Infinite patience produces immediate results.” The result I achieved by being patient was peace, and peace was automatic healing.

So, whether you’re trying to lose weight, take on exercise, learn a new skill at work, or adjust to a cross-country move, keep the word patience in your mind.

Allow yourself to be still, and remember that if you’re aligned with who you really are, all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place at the right time.

Spend some time in silence, and listen to the voice of your intuition, which is the voice of your true self. Sometimes you won’t be able to hear that voice, so be patient. Trust that you will receive the answers you seek in time.

Finally, celebrate the small milestones: a pound lost, a mile ran, a spreadsheet done, a new neighbor met, a happy moment. As Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Photo by Cornelia Kopp

Avatar of Cloris Kylie Stock

About Cloris Kylie Stock

Cloris Kylie is a personal development author, motivational speaker, and coach from who focuses on the inner power that each of us has to manifest an extraordinary life. A sought-after lecturer, Cloris Kylie reaches every corner of the world through her blog and radio show. Her new book is Magnificent…Married or Not: Reaching Your Highest Self Before, During, and After Divorce.

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  • Anders Hasselstrøm

    Dear Cloris,

    Lovely story and nice to see how much happiness you have experienced after learning an important lesson. Most people, including myself, can probably learn from this. Next time we are rushing away try and take it easy. Enjoy the small moments of waiting in the car and observing what is going on around you. I believe the small things we would start notice can contribute to a more fulfilling life :)

    Best,
    Anders Hasselstrøm

  • Nanners

    Boy do I love this. I forget this so frequently – it’s so easy for me to get impatient and want things to pan out how IIIII think they should instead of trusting in the divine process. I’ll keep this well written and lovely post on hand for when I need to remind myself of this! <3

  • fbueller

    Hi Cloris. Great article. That’s a great point that the mind will find answers if you relax and give it time. Thanks and I enjoyed the article.

  • Audrey Meyer

    Love your article Cloris! It is timely for me as I am in the process of adjusting not only to a move across the country, but the loss of my sister-in-law and a change in career path. This has been anxiety provoking to say the least, but good things are happening, slowly, inch by inch. Thanks for the reminder to be patient and encouragement to keep the faith.

    Warmest regards

  • DesertedRoad

    This article came at the perfect moment in my life. It is so easy to get swept away by impatient anxiety and the fear of everything falling apart! You brought it back to the surface as a gentle reminder that the answers will come, all in due time. Thank you! Love all of us at DesertedRoad.com

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Thank you, Anders! Every time I find myself being inpatient, I say, “Infinite patience produces immediate results.” It works!
    Wishing you happiness and love.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Thank you for your comment! Great to hear your enjoyed the article.
    Wishing you happiness and love (patience too!)

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Thank you, Audrey. You’re undergoing such big changes. Give yourself all the time you need to adjust, and continue focusing on the good things that are happening in your life. Blessings to you.

  • Fiona

    Thank you. This helped me so much.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    So glad to hear my article came at the right time for you. I send all of you at DessertedRoad the very best!

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Thank you for your comment! Yes, we all need frequent reminders to be aware and to be patient. It’s a practice–a practice that requires a great deal of patience. Blessings.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Very happy to hear :-)

  • Michelle

    Cloris, what you say about patience is incredibly important, and you’ve said it very well indeed. (Really connected with your healing story.) But ironically, I find that it’s so easy to get caught up in a “Catch 22” here!

    In other words, I intellectually understand the folly of being impatient—how it doesn’t produce either peace or good results. So “patience” can become the *tool* I pick up and use to get those results, rather than the *practice* which brings peace of mind (and usually results, too, as a rather nice side benefit).

    Which leads to internal conversations like, “But I’ve been practicing patience for TWO WHOLE WEEKS now!!! When do I get my positive outcome?”

    Aren’t mental gymnastics so much FUN? ::eye roll::

  • Mo

    I really needed this… I just had thought about my patience and the lack of it I have lately :)

  • unhappy

    what if you just cannot accept your shortcomings as those are the only things you cherish the most and cannot do without no matter how much patient you become, as they emerge in front of you every other day…..it is really devastating and seriously damaging to the self.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Thank you, Mo! I’m so happy to hear this article comes to you at the right time!

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Love your comment, Michelle! I would say that whether we use patience as a tool or a practice, the end result is always positive…and this is what matters most. Love to you. :-)

  • BFLY

    I love that line “infinite patience produces immediate results.” Great work Cloris! Celebrate small milestones. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but if you practice these skills, you’re one day better for it. Three great things happened to me by 8 AM today. My day was already made.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Sorry you feel this way…I think this is a different issue, and I just talked about it on my radio show. It’s about the ego’s need to be attached to the pain. Listen to it and I hope it helps.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Three great things by 8 AM? Wow! Thank you for the comment, and I hope three more great things happen to you every day!

  • Anders Hasselstrøm

    Lovely way of phrasing it..

  • Meredith Forder

    Hi Cloris,

    Thank you for the timely reminder. I really appreciate your article. Will be sharing it on clear4thinking. Love “Infinite patience produces immediate results.” Like you I will try to remember this every time I am being impatience.

    Best wishes,
    Meredith

  • KK

    Cloris, this post really hit home with me. Thank you for that. I am extremely impatient and anxious by nature, having lived most of my life in a very stressful environment. A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had an emergency for an adverse chemo reaction and in those hellish 7 hours in the emergency room and the days that followed, I learned to surrender to the inevitable fact that there was nothing I could do but wait and heal. It took this lesson to learn the wisdom that comes with patience and appreciate every little step in life. I am now cancer-free, and sometimes I still would like to be 100% like I was before or feeling amazing stat, but now I know how to get back to that place of calm and no time.

  • Jeff Noble

    how do I find out who I really am? I’m 52 and still don’t know.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Meredith, thank you for your comment and for sharing the article. I feel blessed to know I’m making a difference in people’s lives.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    KK, thank you for such an authentic and touching comment. As Dr. Wayne Dyer would say, affirm, “I am healthy” and feel what it feels like in your body to be radiant health. The power is in you. Continue being patient with life’s events and with yourself.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Jeff, my latest online radio episode is about finding one’s true identity. I encourage you to listen to it (link is in the bio above) and I do hope it helps you. Blessings.

  • Valerie Rogers

    Being anxious for nothing surely takes practice. Anxiousness just leads to unwanted physiological changes that are unhealthy. There is a force guiding the universe, and things will happen in their own time; when it’s the right time for us and never too late.

  • Aljoscha Laschgari

    Thank you for your patience to write this amazing blog post! :-)

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    I very much appreciate your comment, Aljoscha!

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Thank you so much for your comment, Valerie. Well said! I would add that if we feel anxious, we need to acknowledge the feeling rather than condemning ourselves for it. Embracing a negative emotion allows us to let it go. Best to you!

  • Harmony

    Thanks for this reminder. It has given me the perspective I needed today. I am going through menopause and I recently moved to another country and started a new job. Definitely experiencing anxiety! I think the last couple of weeks I have been especially impatient with myself–”I want to be healthy, energetic and ‘normal’ again! I want to do this job perfectly, now!” Some mornings I feel like I am going to crumble. But I know deep inside that this is all part of the journey and instead of trying to rush on to the next ‘better’ phase, I need to appreciate all I have and seize the day!!

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Harmony, thank you for your comment. Your words show you already have the insight you need to return to a path of happiness. You’re going through major changes, so you need “major patience” to get through them. Blessings.

  • http://www.vishnusvirtues.com/ Vishnu

    HI Cloris – enjoyed reading this post about the importance of patience. I also took a journey to patience in my life but it took some major life shakesups and challenges to get there. Before, I was in a rush for everything and could hardly wait for what I wanted to materialize. I thought the quicker and more rapidly I spun the wheels or pressed on the accelerator the quicker I would see results. When a life put a stop to the party and made me step back, I had no choice but to go within, re-prioritize and accept not everything was in my control, not everything happens immediately. I didn’t learn patience voluntarily but more by circumstance. I’m not forcing the puzzle anymore, allowing it to fall into place instead.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Vishnu, thank you for your comment! Yes, learning to be patient can be a long (and sometimes painful) process–I can definitely attest to that! I’m happy to hear you’re in such a great place in your life. Best to you!

  • Paula

    Hi Michelle,
    I am so with you… I know that I need to be patient … And I practice that but I am caught up with the result… okay I’ve been patient now – where is the result??
    It is always good to know that I’m not the ONLY one who plays mental games!!

  • Ivy

    Wonderful article. Really found some golden nuggets here to help me with my current life situation

  • kiki

    any advice for me me and my ex split in march he and a person that was suppose to be my friend back stabbed me and were cheating and now have just had a baby earlier this week I feel hurt in every way not to mention he is the father of my 1 year old daughter and I still love him it’s so painful.i know im still young but yet im filled with so much aniexty Im not paitent with myself or anything any advice I don’t want to think about the future because I assume the worse plus worrying about it is making me crazy.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Kiki, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Your pain is most intense now, so allow it to be. If you can afford it, you might want to find a therapist who can guide you through this process, or tap into the help of a support of a group or pro bono counselor. I will release a book next year that will probably help you, but for now, be very kind to yourself and reach out for help. Stay in touch via FB and continue reading articles like these to help you get through this terrible situation. I’m sending you all the best, and many blessings.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Ivy, thank you for your comment! I didn’t see it until now. I hope your life situation is much better now. Blessings, and stay in touch via FB or Twitter.

  • kiki

    Thank you

  • kiki

    I have anger and so hatred for my former friend and I find myself dreaming about them from time to time what should I do

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Kiki, make sure you get the support you need to get you through this, and as I said before, be kind to yourself (and patient) throughout the process. Focus on the beauty of being who you are and on having your daughter. Sending you all the best.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Thanksgiving is almost here. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who read my article and commented on it. Also, thank you very much to those who connected with me via Facebook, Twitter, and my blog. Many blessings to all, and remember, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

  • Jay

    What do i do when an anxious thought comes to mind? If i try to avoid it its like my mind pauses and is like ‘what shall i think about, lets think about your anxiety again’. I am learning to be patients and would like some tips. Thank you

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Try to think of something that makes you feel better…Do not resist the anxious thought, but replace it with a better feeling thought. Focus on this: “What is going right in my life now?” It could be something as simple as having warm clothes to wear…Hope this helps. Best to you!

  • Jay

    Thank you for your reply cloris. I have been patient and finally found an answer. It turns out i was ‘normal’ the whole time. I turned something that happened to me into something that was unusual thus creating confusion. Every time I had this normal feeling I felt anxious as i had thought it was natural. The anxious feeling came from not feeling normal and wanting to be normal when i was normal the whole time! I appreciate your article. Patience allows you to really pin point the source of the anxiety.

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Jay, I’m happy to hear you’ve received the answer. Stay in touch via FB or Twitter. All the best to you!

  • Jay

    Is there a way i can message you privately?

  • http://www.cloriskylie.com/ Cloris Kylie

    Jay, a FB message is best! Go to my author page…I do my best to reply as soon as I can to messages. Thank you!

  • Jay

    I just messaged you on your facebook page. Thank you for your time!