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Posts tagged with “balance”

Finding Balance Through the Full Spectrum of Emotion

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“As a solid rock is not shaken by the wind, the wise are not shaken by praise or blame.” ~The Dhammapada, Verse 81

Some moments lift you like moonlight. Others break you like a wave. I’ve lived through both—and I’ve come to believe that the way we move through these emotional thresholds defines who we become.

By thresholds, I mean the turning points in our lives—experiences so vivid, painful, or awe-filled that they pull us out of our usual routines and bring us face to face with something real. Some come in silence, others with sound and …

What Happened When I Stopped Saying Yes to Everything

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“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” ~Brené Brown 

I used to believe that if someone was in need and I had the ability to help, it was my duty to step in. Whether it was managing caregiving responsibilities for family, fielding crisis calls from friends, or stepping up at work when no one else would, I said yes without hesitation. For me, helping seemed to be the measure of a “good person.”

But what I didn’t realize is that many of us confuse obligation with responsibility.

Obligation feels …

What I Learned When My Brain and Body Shut Down

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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” ~Anne Lamott

I used to believe that success meant always being available. Always saying yes. Always responding immediately to emails, Slack pings, texts, whatever was thrown my way. Because if I stopped—even for a second—I might fall behind. And if I wasn’t working harder than everyone else, was I even working hard enough?

For years, that mindset worked. Or so I thought. Every win, every promotion, every new milestone felt like adding fuel to the fire. The more I ‘succeeded’ by society’s standards—the title, …

Why I Quit Beast Mode and How I Traded Burnout for Peace and Balance

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“Beast mode.” Sounds pretty badass, doesn’t it?

It’s like an adrenaline-fueled battle cry, a call to arms. It’s a way of life that’s all about giving every single thing you’ve got to every single thing you do.

For most of my life, I lived this mantra—and prided myself for living this way.

In fact, I had a sticker on my bathroom mirror with the words “beast mode” that I stared at all the time. It was my constant reminder to be all in, every single day, pushing harder, reaching further.

But here’s the reality check: Life isn’t supposed to be …

Releasing Fascia: A Simple Way to Reduce Tension, Pain, and Disease

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“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” ~Jim Rohn

I hear this happens to so many, but when it happens to you, it’s unsettling. I didn’t know what was going on with me, and I wasn’t getting any satisfying answers either.

Most days were good, and I felt fine and went about my regular routine wearing my many hats: mother of two young kids, human mom to three fur babies, a household-manager-of-all-the-things and full-time dental hygienist. And then out of the blue, it could hit me like a ton of bricks… the backache, neck …

Workaholics: Why Staying Busy Feels Safe and How It Takes a Toll

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“The ego desperately wants safety. The soul wants to live. The truth is, we cannot lead a real life without risk. We do not develop depth without pain.” ~Carol S. Pearson

Workaholism is the body’s wisdom in action, literally.

Some people develop workaholic tendencies because they crave to be seen as the best through their accomplishments.

But I’m not here to talk about people who’re obsessed over their image.

The particular strain of “workaholism” that isn’t talked about enough is a perfectionist’s addiction to productivity.

It has little to do with being recognized for your brilliance or achievements in the …

Stay in the Right Lane: Let Yourself Slow Down and Enjoy Life

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“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” ~Diane Ackerman

Wow! My last weeks of my career. Though many days and weeks over the last thirty-four years have seemed to last forever, it truly is astonishing how fast time goes. And don’t we often try to make it go even faster?

Our jobs are stressful. We are often under tight time constraints and deadlines. We have clients and associates who want and need things yesterday.

We …

5 Meditation Retreat Practices to Try at Home for a More Mindful Life

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“Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively.” ~Sharon Salzberg

It was the fifth night of my first silent retreat, and 100 of us spilled out of the meditation hall into darkness, flashlights swinging as we made our way along the path to our dorms and sleep.

Suddenly the wind picked up and quiet excitement rippled through the group as we looked up to see a bank of clouds move and reveal a full moon, beaming a bright white light from the night sky. We stopped and stood, some of us for hours, gazing upwards.…

Emotionally Imbalanced? How Qigong Can Help You Heal Your Mind and Body

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“In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.” ~Mitch Albom

The marble tile felt cold and hard against the side of my body as I lay sobbing and shaking on the floor. Some part of my mind nudged me to get to the couch, but I couldn’t. What did it matter?

Tears kept flowing as my moans of “Why? Why? Why?” echoed through the room. Despite the discomfort, I curled into a tighter fetal position on the floor, continuing to sob and whimper. Every once …

How I Stopped Carrying the Weight of the World and Started Enjoying Life

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“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.” ~Najwa Zebian

During a personal development course, one of my first assignments was to reach out to three friends and ask them to list my top three qualities. It was to help me see myself the way others saw me.

At the time, my confidence was low and I couldn’t truly see myself. I didn’t remember who I was or what I wanted. The assignment was a way to rebuild my self-esteem and see myself from a broader perspective.

As I vulnerably asked and then received the responses, …

What Happiness Means and How I’m Boosting My Day-to-Day Joy

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“Don’t let this silly world trick you into starving your soul for material things. Cause someday you’re gonna be sitting out under the sun and realize how little you actually need to be truly happy.” ~Brooke Hampton

Three years ago, at the height of pandemic, I made many pitchers of lemonade from scratch. This newfound ritual was one of the better things about being on lockdown.

I’d hand squeeze a big bag of lemons for about one-third cup of juice, and experiment by adding vanilla extract, mint, and tablespoons of honey. I’d bring my drink outside, where I sat for …

5 Simple Yet Essential Self-Care Tips That Can Change Your Life

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“Never be ashamed to say, ‘I’m worn out. I’ve had enough. I need some time for myself.’ That isn’t being selfish. That isn’t being weak. That’s being human.” ~Topher Kearby

Years ago, my extended family, who I am very close with, migrated from Vietnam to America as permanent residents. Four separate families had a couple of kids in each family. They are nice, kind, and loving people, and their kids were super cute and respectful.

My relationship with my extended family has taught me a lot of lessons throughout my life so far, but this was one of the most …

5 Ways to Start Valuing Your Time and Making the Most of It

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“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Oh, how I loved sleeping when I was a teenager. I would sleep for twelve hours, just as babies do.

And guess what else?

Another favorite activity of mine was taking selfies until I finally had a perfect one, editing it, posting it on social media, and waiting for likes. And scrolling through the feed.

Wow. So unusual nowadays.

I didn’t care what I was doing with my life. I chose a university degree just for fun and …

Confessions of an Extrovert: Why I Now Love My Alone Time

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“Allow yourself to grow and change. Your future self is waiting.” -Unknown

Not to be dramatic, but I really mean it when I say that solitude changed my life. I am an extrovert who loves humans, socializing, and learning from people and experiences. I’ve always enjoyed being around others, and don’t get me wrong, I still thrive this way. But when I got Covid in 2021, life completely changed, and it’s not the only way I thrive now.

Before Covid, I’d been living my life in a way that wasn’t serving me. I was partying a lot, not eating …

How to Be a Lot Happier: A Simple Solution

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“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~Leonardo da Vinci

There’s a funny thing with us humans.

We spend our lives trying desperately to find happiness, and yet we don’t even know what it is. We can’t explain, describe, or define it. We just know that we want it because it’ll make everything peachy. Time and time again, though, studies have shown that our never-ending quest for happiness is quite often the very thing that makes us miserable.

Trying to find happiness is an exercise in futility. This is a truth I did not easily come to realize. It took a …

How to Get Comfortable Being Alone and Get the Most Out of Solitude

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“The act of sitting down is an act of revolution. By sitting down, you stop that state of being: losing yourself, not being yourself. And when you sit down, you connect to yourself. And you don’t need an iPhone or a computer to do that. You just need to sit down mindfully and breathe in mindfully.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

The day my ex-wife moved out was also the day when our dog moved out and when I was laid off from my bankrupt ex-company. It felt like everything around me had suddenly died. Many of our common friends and loved …

Why I Broke Down Mentally While Striving for Work/Life Balance

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“Maybe it’s time for the fighter to be fought for, the holder to be held, and the lover to be loved.” ~Unknown

I was breastfeeding my infant son when he bit me. That bite set the stage for a deeper unraveling then I could have ever imagined.

I unlatched him, handed him to my husband, and got in my car. As I was driving I began to lose the feeling in my hands and feet. My vision started to blur, and my breathing was fast and shallow. I was terrified I was not going to make it back home. …

How I’m Honoring My Values Even Though I Have Conflicting Priorities

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“No matter what kind of stuff you tell the world, or tell yourself, your actions reveal your real values. Your actions show you what you actually want.” ~Derek Sivers

I need to be a productivity rockstar if I stand a chance of accomplishing everything important to me.

There’s a book I want to write, a course I want to create, and a chance to work with an award-winning author that has given me endless projects I want to pursue.

These are exciting, but they’re creating a ton of anxiety in my life.

Why?

Because they’re at odds with being the …

3 Painful Consequences to Overgiving and People-Pleasing

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People-pleasing, overhelping, overgiving—we can give it lots of different names, but the consequences of putting yourself last all the time are generally the same.

You may have been raised to see giving and helping as virtuous things. And hear me say, they are. I believe wholeheartedly that it’s a beautiful thing to serve, support, and help others. However, people-pleasers don’t always know when to draw the line; they give and give almost as if they have an endless supply of time, energy, and resources.

Surprisingly, people-pleasing is often about control. It’s rooted in your need to try and boost your …

The Difference Between Easy and Hard Self-Care and Why Both Matter

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“Sometimes you’ve got to look straight into the tired eyes of the woman staring back at you in the mirror and tell her that she deserves the best kind of love, the best kind of life, and devote yourself to giving it to her all over again.” ~S.C. Lourie

Self-care. An important concept that has become a buzzword. What does it mean? The answer… that depends on you. Google and you will find lists, articles, and suggestions for self-care tasks. These can be helpful as inspiration, but self-care is something that’s unique to you.

I work in suicide prevention and …

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