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How to Stop Judging Yourself and the Past Year Harshly

By in Blog

“The way you look at things is the most powerful force shaping your life.” ~John O’Donohue

As often happens at this time of year, I recently found myself lamenting how quickly time had passed. In this agitated headspace, the myriad of goals I did not accomplish and the numerous targets I did not reach sprang to the forefront of my mind.

Though unwelcome and unhelpful, these thoughts pushed their way into my internal dialogue, reinforcing themselves by collecting evidence of where I’d fallen short.

Viewing my past year through a critical lens cultivates a feeling of dislike for myself. It …

Tiny Buddha's 2026 Day-to-Day Calendar

A Tiny Bit of Tiny Buddha, with You Every Day

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I might be just a little biased, but I find this site very soothing. It’s my literal home on the web—built humbly in 2009 with more enthusiasm than expertise and the shoddy wiring (read: early missteps) to prove it.

But it’s not just the grounding tree on top, the calming Buddha logo, or the bright illustrations that fill me with peace. It’s this community. The honest stories. The aha moments. The shared humanity that brings with it a sense that it’s okay—and maybe even beautiful—to be imperfect.

If you too find comfort in this little oasis and appreciate the daily

…

Why the Breath Is More Powerful Than Willpower in Addiction Recovery

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“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” ~Amit Ray

I don’t remember the moment I decided I wanted to live again. I just remember the breath that made it possible.

Three weeks earlier, I had been lying in a hospital bed, my liver failing at the age of thirty-six after years of drinking. I knew I wouldn’t survive another relapse; yet the day I was released, I went straight to the liquor store. Unsurprisingly, I ended up back in rehab—completely exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I wasn’t looking for …

What If 2026 Could Actually Be Different?

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I’ve never believed that change should be reserved for special days, but the New Year tends to carry a sense of promise. It often brings a surge of clarity, motivation, and hope that maybe things really could be different.

And then, as January moves along, that initial energy fades.

Responsibilities pile up. Our bandwidth shrinks. And before we know it, we’re pulled back into the familiar current of obligations, far from the shore we were hoping to reach.

It’s not that we lack willpower or discipline. Most of us are already trying hard. What we often need instead is the …

The Truth About Healing I Didn’t Learn in Med School

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“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

I’ve spent most of my adult life helping people heal.

I’m a podiatrist, a foot and ankle surgeon, and I’ve seen pain in many forms. Torn ligaments. Crushed bones. Wounds that just won’t close. But if I’m being honest, the deepest wounds I’ve encountered weren’t the ones I treated in my clinic. They were the invisible ones, the ones that patients carried silently, and the ones I had unknowingly been carrying myself.

I used to think healing was straightforward. Diagnose. Treat. Follow up. Recover.

That made sense to me. …

Why I’m Listening to My Aging Mother More Deeply Now

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“When an old person dies, a library burns to the ground.” ~African Proverb

For most of my life, I thought aging was about bodies slowing down—hair turning white, memory fading, steps getting shorter. But caring for my ninety-six-year-old mother has changed that. I now see something deeper and more painful: the slow erasure of wisdom in a culture that prizes the new, dismisses the old, and moves too fast to notice what it’s losing.

We live in a world that idolizes youth and innovation—new tech, new trends, new ideas. “Old” has become shorthand for “outdated.” When wisdom becomes invisible, we …

Break the Cycle: How to Heal the Patterns You Didn’t Choose

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“We don’t inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.” ~Native American Proverb

For years, I blamed my parents for my anxiety, my defensiveness, and my need to be right. Then I learned they inherited the same patterns from their parents. And theirs before them.

This wasn’t about blame. It was about breaking a cycle nobody chose.

The Stutter That Taught Me Everything

As a teenager, I developed a stutter. Not just occasional hesitation—paralyzing anxiety about speaking.

I’d anticipate making mistakes when reading aloud. Starting conversations felt like walking through a minefield. The fear of stuttering …

Grieving the Parents You Needed but Never Had

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“We can’t receive from others what they were never taught to give.” ~Unknown

When I was younger, I believed that love meant being understood. I thought my parents would be there for me, emotionally and mentally. But love, I’ve learned, isn’t always expressed in the ways we need, and not everyone has the tools to give what they never received.

As an adult, I’ve learned something both liberating and heartbreaking: Parents can only give what they have.

I used to get frustrated that my parents couldn’t really understand my mental health struggles. The realization didn’t hit me suddenly. It …

How to Cope When Trauma Stole Your Childhood Memories

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“It’s all right if you can’t remember. Our subconscious is spectacularly agile. Sometimes it knows when to take us away, as a kind of protection.” ~Kathleen Glasgow 

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself crying in the park. It was supposed to be just a typical summer day. I was enjoying my usual stroll with my dog, Boni. The sun was shining, and the shade of the trees provided a very welcoming shelter from the burning sun.

Children were running and laughing, and their joy drew me in. Two of them, tiny three-year-olds, were squealing, all happy, wearing Hawaiian-style …

Why Listening Matters More Than Giving Advice (A Barbershop Lesson)

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“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~Stephen R. Covey

I used to think running a barbershop was all about haircuts, schedules, and keeping clients happy. I measured success by the number of chairs filled, how quickly we moved through the day, and whether everything ran smoothly. Efficiency felt like the most important thing.

Then one afternoon, a moment with a customer changed everything.

Mr. Hicks, a regular, came in looking unusually quiet. He slumped in my chair, barely making eye contact, and gave only short, mumbled answers when I …

Learning to Feel Safe Resting After a Lifetime of People-Pleasing

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“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” ~John Lubbock

For years, I thought exhaustion was a sign I lived fully and did my best that day. I felt proud of being exhausted. I squeezed every bit out of the day, and there was nothing left.

If I felt tired, I pushed myself to do just one more thing. It was always just one more thing. If I needed …

The Gift of Being Single (More Joy, Less Fear)

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“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” ~Michel de Montaigne

Some people fear spiders. Some fear public speaking.

My biggest fear? That my plus-one will always be my own reflection.

More and more people are finding themselves in the single life—not because they joyfully signed up for it, but because they’ve quietly resigned themselves to it. Being alone forever is one of the worst things most people can imagine. And yet, nobody’s talking about it.

I have no interest in bashing men—I love them. And I’m not here to shame relationships—I’d still …

How Menopause Exposed the Hidden Trauma I Spent Years Ignoring

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“There is no way to be whole without first embracing our brokenness. Wounds transform us, if we let them.” ~Sue Monk Kidd

Menopause flagged up everything unresolved, unmet, and unchallenged and asked me to meet it with grace.

I’m not saying it was an overnight thing—more like a ten-year process of discovery, rollercoaster style. One of those “strap yourself in, no brakes, no seatbelt, possibly no survival” rides.

If I’m honest, the process is still unfolding, but with less “aaaaggggghhhhh” and more “oh.”

Having mentally swapped Nemesis Inferno for It’s a Small World, I can now look back with

…

Learning to Be Seen After a Childhood Spent Disappearing

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“The habits you created to survive will no longer serve you when it’s time to thrive.” ~Eboni Davis

I learned early how to measure the danger in a room. With a narcissistic mother, the air could shift in an instant—her tone slicing through me, reminding me that my feelings had no place.

With an alcoholic stepfather, the threat was louder, heavier, and more unpredictable. I still remember the slam of bottles on the counter, the crack of his voice turning to fists, the way I would hold my breath in the dark, hoping the storm would pass without landing on …

The Power of Imperfect Work in an AI-Driven, Perfection-Obsessed World

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“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.” ~Salvador Dalí

We live in a world that worships polish.

Perfect photos on Instagram. Seamless podcasts with no awkward pauses. Articles that read like they’ve passed through a dozen editors.

And now, with AI tools that can produce mistake-free writing in seconds, the bar feels even higher. Machines can generate flawless sentences, perfect grammar, and shiny ideas on demand. Meanwhile, I’m over here second-guessing a paragraph, rewriting the same sentence six different ways, and still wondering if “Best” or “Warmly” is the less awkward email sign-off.

It’s easy to feel like our …

How to Stay Kind Without Losing Yourself to Toxic Behavior

By in Blog

“The strongest people are the ones who are still kind after the world tore them apart.” ~Raven Emotion

A few months ago, I stopped being friends with my best friend from childhood, whom I had always considered like my brother.

It was a tough decision, but I had to make it.

In the past five years, my friend (let’s call him Andy) had become increasingly rude and dismissive toward my feelings.

Not a single week went by without him criticizing me for being optimistic and for never giving up despite being a “failure.”

Still, I tried to be understanding. I …

What Finally Helped Me Break Free from Constant Food Noise

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl

For years, I thought something was wrong with me.

No matter what I was doing—sitting in a meeting, walking the dog, or watching TV—my brain was busy debating food.

Should I eat? Shouldn’t I? I could just have one more bite, couldn’t I? What should I eat next? I’ve blown it today, haven’t I? I’ve failed again. Shall I just eat whatever I want and start again tomorrow?

The chatter was constant. It left me exhausted, ashamed, and convinced that …

5 Surefire Signs You Grew Up with an Emotionally Immature Parent

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“There’s no such thing as a ‘bad kid’—just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings and needs the only way they know how. We owe it to every single one of them to always remember that.” ~Dr. Jessica Stephens 

All children look up to their parents from the moment they enter this world. They have this beautiful, pure, unconditional love pouring out of them. Parents are on a pedestal. They are the ones who know what’s best! They are the grownups showing us how to do life!

We don’t think for one moment that they could be …

Work Is Not Family: A Lesson I Never Wanted but Need to Share

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“The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect.” ~Peter Levine

I was sitting in the conference room at work with the CEO and my abusive male boss.

The same boss who had been love-bombing and manipulating me since I started nine months earlier, slowly pushing my nervous system into a constant state of fight-or-flight.

When I was four months into the job, this boss went on a three-day bender during an overnight work conference at a fancy hotel in Boston.

He skipped client meetings or showed up smelling …

Letting Go of the Life You Were Told to Want

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“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever since I was about four years old, I knew I was different from the other kids. I was always on the outside looking in. As I approach middle age, I’ve never shaken that feeling—the knowing—of being different.

We live in a noisy world where we find whatever we seek. If we’re looking for validation that we don’t belong, that’s exactly what we’ll find.

While flawed, the standard ‘life blueprint’ hasn’t quite sailed off into …