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7 Self-Reflection Questions to Create Your Own Happiness This Year

By in happiness & fun

“Self-reflection is necessary to dig beneath our own layers and visit the inner crevices of our heart and mind to develop an understanding of life.” ~Unknown

This year, I’ve not set New Year’s resolutions nor planned to completely “reinvent” myself or my life.

The past three years have brought up many unresolved issues, emotions to release, and wounds to heal. It’s been quite a rollercoaster ride, and I want to be gentle with myself.

Instead of setting resolutions, I sat down with a simple moleskin journal and pondered a few questions to create my own happiness this year based on …

How to Chase A Dream: Love, Fear, and Finding Paul McCartney In A Bathroom

By in Blog, meaning & passion

It is December of 1993. I am twenty years old and contemplating the future arc of my life. The question in front of me is simple: Do I pursue music as a career, or do I listen to the persistent voices of my elders pleading for me to choose a safer path through the world? In the words of Jeanette Winterson: “Why be happy when you can be normal?”

At this point in my life, I had been playing music for over ten years. Averaging twenty-five hours a week of practice, (at minimum) that made for over 10,000 hours total,

…

A Powerful Practice for Self-Awareness: How to Avoid Doing Things You’ll Regret

By in mindfulness & peace

Self-awareness is arguably the holy grail of inner peace, especially when you’re under pressure. But what is it? How do you achieve it?

As a teacher of self-awareness, I’ll be the first to admit that it does not always come easy. Given our human instinct to resist whatever challenges us to grow and change, the journey to self-awareness often involves a struggle. I know mine sometimes does.

To be more self-aware, I’ve had to cultivate a willingness to admit I don’t have it all figured out and that I might not always be right, especially when I feel really strongly …

New Year’s Resolutions Simplified: It’s as Easy as 1, 2, 3

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits

You and I will probably come across a hundred articles about New Year’s resolutions in 2023 … again. And, if you and I are like the majority—the well-intentioned, regular people who genuinely want change—we will aspire to big things and later get frustrated and give up on the list we made … again.

But what if we kept it really simple this time? What if we didn’t have to make an endless list and be reminded, by looking at it, of all the things we may fail at again?

What if we made it as easy as one, two, three?…

How to Let Go of Your Need to Be Informed at all Times

By in Blog, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t mistake being informed by trusting what you hear or read in the news. The most trusted information is what you feel in your gut.” ~Charles F Glassman

I was in my kitchen enjoying breakfast when a report about a murder was mentioned as one of the headlines on the radio news.

One of my boys started to ask me questions, none of which I could answer. They were questions about a detail of the murder, which I didn’t know, and also about bigger life issues, which at 7 a.m., I was struggling to get my head around.

I chose …

If You Stuff Your Emotions Down: You Gotta Feel It to Heal It

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Even though you want to run. Even when it’s heavy and difficult. Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.” ~Dr. Rebecca Ray

I’ve spent much of my life resisting my true feelings.

Anger made me feel wrong. Sadness made me feel weak. Neediness made me feel “girly.” Love made me feel scared.

I became an expert at hiding when I was feeling any of the above.

Some people numb their feelings with alcohol, drugs, shopping, or sex. I numb with control. …

I’m Kelly and I’m a Heroine Addict: Why I Get My Fix from Fixing People

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Self-will means believing that you alone have all the answers. Letting go of self-will means becoming willing to hold still, be open, and wait for guidance for yourself.”―Robin Norwood, Author of Women Who Love Too Much

My drug of choice is not the kind of heroin one shoots in their veins. My drug is the kind of heroine that ends with an e—the feminine version of hero.

When I help someone, and they are grateful for the gifts I offer, my brain fizzes with a cocktail of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, resulting in a “helper’s high” I ride …

Eating Too Much While Working from Home? How to Solve Emotional Snacking

By in Blog, healthy habits, work fulfillment

“We eat the way we eat because we are afraid to feel what we feel.” ~Geneen Roth

Sometimes I feel like asking me, a recovering overeater, to work from home is as unreasonable as hoping a sex addict will pen a report from the lobby of a brothel.

Snarky email? Feel annoyed. Get Penguin bar from cupboard.

Meeting over? Feel relief at no longer being on camera. Eat Wagon Wheel from cupboard.

Worked hard today? Need a reward. Wait, who ate all the kids’ lunchbox treats? Never mind, people, all good: I found the cheese.

This was me when …

20 Powerful Quotes to Help You Deal with Difficult Relationships

By in Blog

Relationships are never easy, especially relationships with family.

Some people seem to always push our buttons, making it hard not to react emotionally. Others trigger our deepest wounds, leaving us questioning our worth or sanity. And sometimes, without even realizing it, we’re the ones creating unnecessary conflict and drama.

We take things personally that aren’t really about us, assume the worst in people and act accordingly, and fight to be heard and understood while refusing to hear or understand the other person.

I know I’ve done all these things before, and I always wish later I’d responded more skillfully. With …

Two Exciting Updates (Including a FREE Life-Changing Event Next Week)

By in change & challenges, love & relationships

Hi friends! I’m thrilled to share that Suzanne from Generation Mindful is hosting a FREE online event from January 2nd-4th—the Reparent Yourself Online Summit.

I’ve been a huge fan of Generation Mindful since I had my two sons. I only felt comfortable having children after discovering that it’s possible to parent without shame, pain, or fear—and that this is actually the key to raising confident, emotionally resilient children.

Since then, I’ve devoured everything I can find on positive parenting, and Generation Mindful has been a lifesaver during those challenging moments when I’m feeling emotionally triggered …

The 3 Ms That Help Me Cope with Seasonal Depression

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” ~Carl Jung

My two-year-old son looked up at me with his big, blue, beautiful eyes.

He wanted me to play. I took a toy car in my hand and rolled it along the wooden living room floor we were both sitting on, making an enthusiastic VROOM as I did it. He smiled. He appreciated my effort at sound effects.

The streetlights standing on the road outside our living room window were already glowing warmly, even though it was barely 4:30 p.m. and the sky was …

The Major Aha Moment That Helped Me Stop Fixating on Fixing Myself

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” ~Maya Angelou

My newest friend ended our three-month-long friendship on a July day when I’d just returned from a dreadful summer vacation. Her Dear Jane email read, “It’s not you, it’s me.” The lever had been pulled, I was dumped, and I thought, “Ha!” I’d spent the last three months trying to help her fix her problems. I knew she had more problems than me.

But then an anxious, obsessive thought loop began. What did it really mean? How could it not be about me?

This wasn’t the first …

Mindful Forgiveness: 4 Steps to Unlock the Healing Power of Your Mind

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~Steve Maraboli

The key to healing is learning to let go of negative thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness will allow you to be aware of your thoughts and feelings; forgiveness will help in letting them go.

Simple as it is in theory, putting it into practice may be harder.

Mindfulness, being aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment, is not that difficult. But the trick is to do it amidst …

5 Surefire Signs You Grew Up with an Emotionally Immature Parent

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“There’s no such thing as a ‘bad kid’—just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings and needs the only way they know how. We owe it to every single one of them to always remember that.” ~Dr. Jessica Stephens 

All children look up to their parents from the moment they enter this world. They have this beautiful, pure, unconditional love pouring out of them. Parents are on a pedestal. They are the ones who know what’s best! They are the grownups showing us how to do life!

We don’t think for one moment that they could be …

How I Reframed Letting Go So I Could Move on from My Painful Past

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

We are truly free when we let go of the thought that the past could or should have been any different than it was. This is so hard.

The challenge is born from our desperate need to validate our feelings and experiences. It often feels like we are invalidating ourselves if we let go of the thought that the past should have been different. We have been through hell, experienced things most people don’t know about, and it initially feels so devastating to think of just letting it go like it never happened. Where is the justice in that?

I …

7 Books for Your Holiday Gift List (and Enter Win a Free MacBook Air)

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

Hi friends! I imagine many of you, like me, are still finishing up your holiday shopping, and what better present to give someone than the gift of insight, peace, joy, and healing? The seven books below are some of my recent favorites, and I’m sure they’d be a wonderful addition to your loved ones’ libraries—or your own!

All for Love: The Transformative Power of Holding Space by Matt Kahn

It makes my heart so happy to see that Matt Kahn’s All for Love is a #1 bestseller because I truly believe the world would be a better place if we …

The Agony of Anxious Attachment and How to Attract Better Relationships

By in Blog, love & relationships

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be looking for someone else to fill the void inside you, but no one will ever be able to do it.” ~Lori Deschene

There are four attachment styles including anxious, avoidant, anxious/avoidant, and secure.

Attachment theory teaches us that the way in which we attach ourselves to our romantic partner mimics the relationship we had with our primary caregivers growing up.

So, if you were like me and had parents who were not physically or emotionally present, you grew up feeling a void within yourself and always worrying if you were lovable. Because …

When People Are Mean and Refuse to Admit It or Apologize

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault

I’ve always tried to distance myself from people who are rude, overly aggressive, and mean. But sometimes we become tied to people who might not have our best interests at heart.

One summer I became involved with a coworker who was at a bad spot in his life. I thought I could help him through this tough time, but just like a swimmer drowning in a pool, he grabbed on and ended up drowning me when I reached out and tried to save him.

After …

If You Really Want to Change the World: 4 Ways to Be Kind

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

I’ve now reached the age in my life when every so often, I get an email or text informing me that someone I know has died. Some of the people who have passed away have been former supervisors or teachers from high school. Others have been the parents of friends or elderly members of my church.

At one time, the news that someone had died was shocking to me. Now it’s nearly a …

How I’ve Redefined Success Since ‘Failing’ by Traditional Standards

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” ~Christopher Reeve

When I was a child, I wanted to save the world. My mom found me crying in my bedroom one day. She asked what was wrong, and I said, “I haven’t done anything yet!” I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could try to make a difference.

At fourteen, I joined a youth group that supported adults with disabilities. We hosted dances and ran a buddy program. I helped with projects at state institutions and left saddened by the conditions for the residents. I planned to work at a state …