“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~Mark Twain
In 2022, I wanted to quit my job and didn’t know why. I was about to embark on a six-week trip to a country I’d always wanted to visit—New Zealand—to work in sports TV production. I loved the people I worked with, the company I worked for, and the buzz I got from live TV. …
“The ego desperately wants safety. The soul wants to live. The truth is, we cannot lead a real life without risk. We do not develop depth without pain.” ~Carol S. Pearson
Workaholism is the body’s wisdom in action, literally.
Some people develop workaholic tendencies because they crave to be seen as the best through their accomplishments.
But I’m not here to talk about people who’re obsessed over their image.
The particular strain of “workaholism” that isn’t talked about enough is a perfectionist’s addiction to productivity.
It has little to do with being recognized for your brilliance or achievements in the …
“Everywhere you go, there you are.” ~Unknown
I have heard this quote many times throughout life, but that was it. I heard it, thought hmm, and moved on. Well, here I am at the age of thirty-nine, and I am really starting to see and understand it.
I first started noticing this idea showing up over and over again recently, at a time of a change in my career. I went from an ER nurse to an RN in the transfer center. So bedside nursing to office work.
I noticed one day, as I was sitting in …
“We eat the way we eat because we are afraid to feel what we feel.” ~Geneen Roth
Sometimes I feel like asking me, a recovering overeater, to work from home is as unreasonable as hoping a sex addict will pen a report from the lobby of a brothel.
Snarky email? Feel annoyed. Get Penguin bar from cupboard.
Meeting over? Feel relief at no longer being on camera. Eat Wagon Wheel from cupboard.
Worked hard today? Need a reward. Wait, who ate all the kids’ lunchbox treats? Never mind, people, all good: I found the cheese.
This was me when …
“Maybe it’s time for the fighter to be fought for, the holder to be held, and the lover to be loved.” ~Unknown
I was breastfeeding my infant son when he bit me. That bite set the stage for a deeper unraveling then I could have ever imagined.
I unlatched him, handed him to my husband, and got in my car. As I was driving I began to lose the feeling in my hands and feet. My vision started to blur, and my breathing was fast and shallow. I was terrified I was not going to make it back home. …
“The master leads by weakening their ambition and toughening their resolve.” ~Tao Te Ching
How much of productivity advice is ableist? Sure, there are lots of good ideas and concepts in there, but most of it is healthy-body-focused.
“Be sure to exercise in the morning.”
“Get up early before anyone else.”
“Keep a consistent morning routine of meditation, journaling.”
“Set aside fixed times in the day to do deep work.”
“Get dressed and do your hair even if you work from home.”
“Set goals and stick to them.”
“Work harder than anyone else around you.”
I have built …
“Self-care equals success. You’re going to be more successful if you take care of yourself and you’re healthy.” ~Beth Behrs
Does your job ever seem to take over your life?
Mine has, more than once, despite some drastic changes to stop it each time.
For twelve years I worked a sixty-hour-a-week consulting job in London, UK. I loved my team, and much of my work, but I wasn’t good at switching off.
Whiplash from a minor car accident initiated a chronic pain condition that grew worse and worse with each passing day.
I didn’t think I was allowed to take …
“I spend an insane amount of time wondering if I’m doing it right. At some point I just remind myself that I’m doing my best. That is enough.” ~Myleik Teele
Just one more client. Just one more call. Just one more. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Then, maybe, just maybe, I will feel validated. Worthy. Appreciated.
That’s how success works, right? Everyone has to like you, think you’re amazing, and recognize all of your hard work for you to be successful? I learned the hard way that this is the path to overwhelm, burnout, and a massive anxiety disorder. Because, you have …
“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller
Here’s a confession: I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was thirteen years old when I first discovered the magic of words.
Here’s another: It was only at the ripe old age of twenty-six that I could truthfully call myself a writer.
Why did it take me so long?
I often think about that. Even today, when people ask me about my writing, I struggle to say that I am a writer. I am both proud and horrified, and I constantly wonder, what will I …
“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti
“I can’t believe they are taking her side over mine. I gave this job so many years, and she decides to walk in and mess it all up for me,” I said to my husband.
A few years back, when I was working full time at my corporate job, I got into a disagreement with a team member. It spiraled out of control to the point where my boss then had to have a sit-down with us. I was so humiliated and angry that he could not see my side.
“Sometimes you get what you want. Other times, you get a lesson in patience, timing, alignment, empathy, compassion, faith, perseverance, resilience, humility, trust, meaning, awareness, resistance, purpose, clarity, grief, beauty, and life. Either way, you win.” ~Brianna Wiest
“Good as gold,” the cab driver replied as I nervously handed him the $20 bill and asked, “Okay?” He jumped in his cab and drove off.
I was pleasantly surprised by his politeness, as I was expecting him to argue with me for extra money because we’d gone around in circles searching for the address that I had given him at …
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” ~Brené Brown
The embarrassment you feel upon realizing you don’t actually have what it takes to make a success of yourself. The shame of knowing you spent years training to do one thing and then you bailed right at the finish line. The fear of what to tell people when they ask you what you’re up to.
Of course, you don’t tell anyone how you feel, as you’re too embarrassed to admit you even have these feelings, so you just bury …
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown
In my early twenties, I was a food and beverage manager at a nice hotel in Portland, Maine. About a month after I started working there, they hired our department director, a man twice my age whom I would report to.
At the end of his first week, we went out for a “get to know each other” drink at a loud and busy bar. As we drank and chatted, he was physically very close to me. I told myself it was because of the noise.
“Do not let the roles you play in life make you forget who you are.” ~Roy T. Bennett
Wherever I go and meet new people, they ask me, “What do you do?”
I love talking about what I do because I love what I do, but It’s not what I’ve always done, and it certainly isn’t all of who I am. It’s part of who I am, but there is so much more.
When we’re young, we’re asked to decide on a career. You know, the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The …
“Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art than productivity. Ours is a culture that measures our worth as human beings by our efficiency, our earnings, our ability to perform this or that. The cult of productivity has its place, but worshipping at its altar daily robs us of the very capacity for joy and wonder that makes life worth living.” ~Maria Popova
I was high on productivity. I had one full-time job, two part-time jobs, and a side hustle. I was getting everything done. Sounds perfect, right?
Then I started hating my life.
I had read enough …
“Some people are going to reject you simply because you shine too bright for them. That’s okay. Keep shining.” ~Mandy Hale
After I finished school, I was excited about moving forward with life.
I thought about the career that I hoped to have, where I hoped to live, and the things that I wanted to accomplish.
After starting off as a secondary high school English teacher and becoming disappointed with the ongoing changes in the public school system, I went to graduate school for law. I thought it would open up a lot of possibilities, but it did not.
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” ~Brené Brown
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“It’s so nice to meet you. What do you do?”
These are the questions we are asked our entire life. When we’re children, everyone always asks about the future. They excitedly ask, “What will you do?” The subtext of this questions is:
“How will you be productive in society? How will …
“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.” ~Rita Mae Brown
The stigma associated with mental illness has improved in recent years, but there is still work to be done.
I am a certified life coach and a certified personal trainer. As an employee of a major global fitness studio chain, I was once discriminated against for my mental health issues.
I have always been an athlete, and I love …
“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” ~Thomas Jefferson
To most people, redundancy is a dreaded word.
It conjures up thoughts of hardship, of scarcity, and of struggling to make ends meet.
I have twice been made redundant, and at both times, it was difficult to accept.
Throughout the redundancy process, and for some time afterward, my emotions were all over the place, making it difficult for me to think straight.
But I’ve discovered that when we’re able to look back, we can sometimes see that redundancy might not …