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How to Stop Living to Please and Stay True to Yourself

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“When you say yes to others, make sure you aren’t saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

Have you ever felt like no matter how much you give, it’s never enough? Like your worth is measured by how useful, accommodating, or strong you can be for others?

This invisible burden is what I call the Good Girl / Good Boy Wound—a deep-seated conditioning that tells us our value lies in pleasing others, even at the cost of losing ourselves.

For generations, we’ve been taught to shape ourselves according to the expectations of those around us. Girls are often encouraged to be …

Feeling Stuck, Anxious, or Lost? Choose Your Free Guide

By in Blog

If you’ve felt stuck lately, you’re not alone.

Since I launched the (very delayed) ​Best You, Best Life bundle​ on Monday, I’ve heard from so many people who are going through a lot right now—emotionally, mentally, and energetically.

Maybe you’re stuck in survival mode—going through the motions, numb and disconnected, longing for joy and meaning.

Maybe you’re overwhelmed by anxiety, dread, or the constant feeling that something’s wrong—even if you don’t know what it is.

Or maybe you’re a deeply feeling person who’s taken on everyone else’s pain, and now you’re not sure where you went.

Lately, I’ve …

How Avoiding Painful Emotions Can Lead to a Smaller Life

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer.” ~Gabor Mate

Most of us avoid experiences not necessarily because we don’t like them or want them, but because we don’t want to feel how we will feel when we go through that experience.

Our lives become altered by the emotions we don’t want to feel because we don’t want to move toward the thing that could bring strong emotions like fear, shame, sadness, or disappointment.

We don’t want to go to that party because we’ll probably feel awkward and embarrassed.

We …

5 Powerful Mindset Shifts to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu

We carefully pick out what we wear to the gym to make sure we look good in the eyes of the other gymgoers.

We beat ourselves up after meetings, running through everything we said (or didn’t say), worried that coworkers will think we aren’t smart or talented enough.

We post only the best picture out of the twenty-seven selfies we took and add a flattering filter to get the most likes to prove to ourselves that we are pretty and likable.

We live in other …

Why You’re Not Happy (Even If Life Looks Fine)

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Do you sometimes see people running around enjoying life and wonder what you’re missing? Sometimes I used to think I must be a horrible person. I had so many things going for me, and I still couldn’t be happy. I would ask myself, is there something wrong with me? Am I a narcissist?

Then sometimes I would decide I was just going to be happy. I would fake it until I made it and just accept that’s who I was. But it wouldn’t take long for me to feel overwhelmingly depressed.

I had a little dark hole that would constantly …

How to Make the Most of Our Time with the People We Love

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“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

With only a few more months until my son leaves for college, I am a mindfulness teacher wrestling with my own heart and mind.

While avoiding the frequent mom conversations about “empty nesting,” I’m struggling to admit that my last child leaving home may be harder than I thought. Ironic, since working skillfully with difficult emotions is exactly what I teach.

Every school event I attend feels like a heavy, steady march toward graduation day. Yesterday in the …

Trichotillomania to Triumph: How I Found Acceptance and Freedom

By in Blog

“Your either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself. I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.” ~Daniel Franzese

Everyone has a bad habit or two, right? Whether it’s a major vice or a minor annoyance, we all feel the discomfort of at least some behaviors we would rather not have.

You know, like nail biting, hair twirling, procrastination, having a car that doubles as a convenient trash receptacle…

I’ve been guilty of all the above at one point or another in my life, but the one that has …

Why Holding Space Is Better Than Gripping for Control

By in Blog

“Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to to let go.” ~Unknown

There’s a story I read to my children, an old piece of African folklore. In the tale, a clever jackal outwits a mighty lion by convincing him that the rock ledge above them is about to collapse. The lion, believing the jackal’s warning, uses all his strength to push up against the rock, holding it in place.

The jackal promises to return with a branch to support the ledge, but instead, he makes his escape. Hours later, exhausted, the lion finally collapses, throwing his paws over his …

The Power of Finding Love Without a “How To” Formula

By in Blog

“Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul ,be just another human soul.” ~Carl Jung

For years, I poured myself into learning about love, relationships, and personal growth. I read every book I could get my hands on, signed up for countless classes, and surrounded myself with affirmations, tools, and techniques that promised me the keys to love. I was on a mission, convinced that with enough knowledge, I could finally unlock the door to a successful, fulfilling relationship.

But no matter how much I learned, how much I transformed my

…

What Happened When I Went Off the Social Media Grid

By in Blog

“Remember, being happy doesn’t mean you have it all. It simply means you’re thankful for all you have.” ~Unknown

It was 3 a.m. when I realized I was the only person not in St. Barts. At least that’s what it felt like on Instagram, even though I know it wasn’t true. I wasn’t the only person not dancing on tables to a saxophone in the Caribbean. My fiancé was asleep right next to me.

For the next three hours, I continued down the rabbit hole.

Three hostages were released. Trump did more things to avoid bringing up at dinner parties, …

The Power of Silence and How to Really Listen

By in Blog

“The silence between the notes is as important as the notes themselves.”  ~Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

When I was younger, I thought knowledge was something you could capture—something you could write down, measure, and prove. I believed that to understand something, I had to explain it. And for a long time, I tried.

But then, life—through film, through music, through long conversations with people whose wisdom couldn’t be found in books—taught me something else: the most powerful truths don’t always come in words. They exist in the space between them.

I learned this lesson in the mountains, where the sky stretches …

The Greatest Transformations Often Emerge from Hardship

By in Blog

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

Life has moments that completely reshape us, often without our consent or preparation. Trauma, loss, and grief—they don’t wait until we feel ready to handle them. Instead, they arrive unexpectedly, pinning us against the wall and demanding transformation.

What began as a day like most training days, fueled by focus and determination, unraveled into an unimaginable traumatic event, one that shattered the life I had known.

Prior to that moment, as a fitness trainer by profession, my world was defined by …

Discovering I Lived in Fear, Thinking It Was Love

By in Blog

“Fear is the opposite of love. Love is the absence of fear. Whatever you do out of fear will create more fear. Whatever you do out of love will create more love.” ~Osho

I did not realize I was driven by fear for most of my life.

I thought I was making choices from love by being good, responsible, kind, and successful. Looking back, I see how much of my life was organized around keeping myself safe, and that came from a place of fear.

From the outside, I looked successful, practical, and just fantastic at adult life. In the …

When Healing Feels Lonely: What I Now Know About Peace

By in Blog

“Avoiding your triggers isn’t healing. Healing happens when you’re triggered and you’re able to move through the pain, the pattern, and the story, and walk your way to a different ending.” ~Vienna Pharaon

I thought I had figured it out.

For a year, I had been doing the “inner work”—meditating daily, practicing breathwork, journaling, doing yoga. I had read all the books. I had deconditioned so many behaviors that weren’t serving me: my need to prove, my need to compare, my negative thought patterns. My self-awareness was through the roof. I had hit that deep, deep place in meditation I …

How to Start Teaching Mindfulness (Even if You’re Still Learning)

By in Blog

Sponsored by MindfulnessExercises.com

A few years ago, I was meditating in silence beneath the canopy of a forest monastery in Thailand, questioning everything.

I had left my job, relationships, and most of what I knew to live as a Buddhist monk in the Ajahn Chah tradition—eating one meal a day, sleeping little, and sitting with discomfort, doubt, and the rhythms of the natural world.

But the hardest part wasn’t the mosquitoes or the hunger.

It was this: I was afraid to teach what I was still learning.

Maybe you’ve felt this too—that deep yearning to guide others in healing, in …

Trusting the Pause: When Patience Is Better Than Pushing

By in Blog

“The most powerful thing you can do right now is be patient while things are unfolding for you.” ~Idil Ahmed⠀ 

I still remember my last year of college vividly. I was frustrated and disheartened after my application to study abroad was rejected. I had been obsessed with exploring the world through academia, convinced that further study was the best way to achieve my dream.

While most of my peers were preparing to enter the workforce, I envisioned a different path for myself—one that involved research, intellectual growth, and ultimately a career in academia.

However, there was one major obstacle: my …

Dancing with Darkness: How to Reclaim Your Whole Self

By in Blog

“Shadow work is the way to illumination. When we become aware of all that is buried within us, that which is lurking beneath the surface no longer has power over us.” ~Aletheia Luna

For years, I believed healing was about transcending pain. I took the courses, read the books, learned every energy-healing technique I could find, and became a healer myself.

And for a while, I felt better. I had breakthroughs. My anxiety lessened.

My depressive episodes became fewer. But they never fully disappeared. Even after all the inner work, there were still days when I felt unbearably low. …

Permission to Rest: What Happened When I Embraced Stillness

By in Blog

“If you are continually judging and criticizing yourself while trying to be kind to others, you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation.” ~Kristin Neff

I was lying on my couch again, Netflix playing in the background, when I heard my husband’s footsteps on the stairs. Instinctively, I reached for my phone, desperate to appear busy—productive—anything but resting.

For months, that had been my routine. As the severe anemia from my adenomyosis and fibroids worsened, I found myself increasingly couch-bound, dizzy, and exhausted. Yet each time my husband entered the room, I’d …

Feeling Stuck? Maybe You Don’t Need to ‘Fix’ It Right Now

By in Blog

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.” ~N. R. Narayana Murthy

Anyone who had a Stretch Armstrong as a kid remembers that moment when you and a friend would test the limits of what good ol’ Armstrong could handle. You’d each grab an arm and slowly walk backward, waiting for that pivotal moment when either your strength would give out or Armstrong’s limbs would tear apart like a medieval torture device.

If you reached your strength limit, an older sibling would eagerly join in—nothing brought them more joy …

A Free 3-Day Vacation to Calm Your Nervous System

By in Blog

Tell me, is your jaw clenched as you’re reading this? Are your shoulders hunched? Do you feel tension throughout your body that mirrors the constant buzz of stress within your mind?

I suspect we all feel like this far more often than we may even realize because, for many of us, it’s the norm. We push ourselves through one busy day after another, stuffing our feelings down in a constant state of agitation, without ever recognizing that our nervous systems are stuck in survival mode—and that we have the power to break free.

If any of this sounds familiar to …