“Sending love to everyone who’s doing their best to heal from things they don’t discuss.” ~Unknown
When I was twelve years old, I planned on taking my own life. I had a plan, I had the means, and I thought about it every single day for months. No one was aware—not my family, not my best friends, not my teachers at school or my peers. It would have been a huge surprise in my community had I attempted it, because I didn’t appear as someone who was severely depressed.
Thankfully, I never acted on it, and fifteen years later I …
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay
Since I was a little girl, I believed there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
So I was always trying to find a way to fix myself and be worthy. To feel good enough.
No baby is born thinking they aren’t worthy, and neither was I—or you.
This came from our early beginnings.
I had a very traumatized dad, who I now understand was struggling with his own pain from his childhood.
He would lose his temper …
“How you revise, rethink, and rewrite your personal narrative as things change, lurch, or go wrong in your life matters a great deal.” ~Bruce Feiler
It’s happened to all of us.
Just when life is going smoothly, a big, scary event comes along that threatens to ruin everything.
A frightening diagnosis, a relationship breakup, the death of a loved one, a job loss, or the COVID-19 pandemic.
Your life gets turned upside down when you least expect it.
I don’t know about you, but my life has been full of significant life changes over the last ten years: my …
“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~Willie Nelson
You know you’re not living the life of your dreams when you’re doing mundane things like brushing your teeth, doing laundry, getting dressed, or preparing a meal, and your constant thoughts are “Oh, we need more toothpaste or laundry detergent, but we can’t get either right now. Money’s too tight.” Or “We should get more milk and lettuce, but we have to put that money toward our utility bill so our lights don’t get turned off.”
This train of thought started to be the norm for me …
“You don’t have to rebuild a relationship with everyone you have forgiven.” ~Unknown
“Forgive” and “forcefully” are not two words I have ever joined together before.
My idea of forgiveness involved kind and gentle meekness.
But never forcefulness.
Well, not until I waded through the choppy waters of forgiveness after I had the courage to leave my abusive marriage.
Forgive is a Verb
Forgiving isn’t an emotion. It’s an action. It’s a process that has no time limitation or expiration date.
It can’t be ordered, demanded, or rushed.
When I first discovered that my husband had been …
“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer.” ~Gabor Mate
It was late at night, and I couldn’t sleep. I could almost hear the thudding of fear that was exploding in my chest. I tried to identify the singular cause of the fear, but it didn’t feel like there was just one thing.
There were so many things.
It was the world at large and problems in it; it was how my kid was feeling this morning when they got home from school. It was the rift between my husband and …
“My life transformed when I stopped caring what people in the stands thought.” ~Brené Brown
One afternoon, I had coffee with a friend who told me that she and her family all have a garden campfire every Friday night and toast marshmallows. It sounded so rustically idyllic compared to our normal frozen pizza and movie tradition that I asked my husband if we could do the same that evening.
He sat down to pick up the remote control and casually replied that he was too tired to build a fire, then thought nothing more of it. But I felt devastated …
Hi friend! As we approach the New Year, I imagine many of you, like me, are thinking about what you’d like to do differently in 2024—or who and how you want to be in the year ahead.
Though we likely all have varied goals, I can say with total confidence it all starts with the same thing: self-care.
Whether you want more adventure, meaning, peace, love, joy, or anything else, it’s all more attainable if you feel your best, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
With this in mind, I recently created a 30-Day Self-Care Challenge that can help us all take …
“It’s a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There’s no escaping that, but if you are grateful for your life, then you must be grateful for all of it.” ~Stephen Colbert
Life is not a war; you do not conquer it, nor do you overcome it. You simply accept that suffering is an inevitable and necessary rite of passage on our paths throughout life.
No one is immune to pain; it is only dished out at different levels, and our own internal experience is incomparable. We share similar human experiences—that is the tie that binds us all together—but …
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Sharon Salzberg
When was the last time you looked at your reflection and extended love to yourself? Before I discovered the life-changing power of self-love, I had not extended love to myself for years. This is the story of how I transformed my self-hatred into self-love, how it changed my life, and several tips to practice in your life.
For a long time, I believed self-love was something to be avoided at all costs. Like many, I had become habituated to the “hustle and …
“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” ~Bessel A. van der Kolk
I have a prescription for Lorazepam.
After coming home from picking up my first ever bottle from the pharmacy several years ago, I threw the bottle at the wall and cried.
I used …
“Maybe it’s time for the fighter to be fought for, the holder to be held, and the lover to be loved.” ~Unknown
There’s this cheesy saying I heard once—“Dog, when spelled backwards, is god.” As a companion to my dog, I can honestly say this is truer than you might ever imagine it to be.
There is something special about dogs or perhaps animals in general. They are not plugged into the matrix of human dramas and suffering the way we are entrenched in it. And because they are out of that cycle, in a way, they become our bodhisattvas.…
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” ~Albert Einstein
We all know the basic script we are encouraged to follow in life—work hard at school, then go to university or get a good job. Conform and fit in and everything will be fine.
I did well at the first part; however, by my early twenties, the “everything will be fine” bit wasn’t happening for me. Far from it. I had been prepared for a “basic script” life, but I wasn’t happy by any means, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
When I left school in the UK, before going …
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou
A few years ago, I operated on the belief that my worth was tied to what I could offer others. If I couldn’t assist with job opportunities, provide transportation, or support someone in some way, I didn’t see the point of forming a connection.
This mindset stemmed from a period in my life when I was married to someone battling drug addiction. He often remarked, “Without you, I’d probably be in jail or dead,” and deep down, I knew it was true. It was a perfect match, …
“The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.” ~Wallace Wattles
In all my years of drinking, I never thought I’d hear myself suggesting a Dry December. Nor could I have predicted that the month I’d eventually decide to embrace my sober curiosity would be the holiday month.
Before I decided to give an alcohol-free lifestyle a chance, I had completed many Dry Januarys, occasional Sober Octobers, and even one Dry July. (Dry July was the hardest for me because I really felt like I was alone in trying to …
UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. The winners, chosen at random, are:
Please send your mailing address to me at email@example.com so I can mail you your books and calendars!
Hi friends! To celebrate the holiday season, I’m running a special giveaway today. Two people (US only) will win a bundle including Tiny Buddha’s 2024 Day-to-Cay Calendar, Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal, and Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself.
Uplifting and healing, this calendar offers daily reflections from me, Tiny Buddha contributors, and other authors whose quotes have inspired and encouraged …
“It is often those moments you feel least connected that you are actually making your greatest progress. The chaos around you is an invitation to pause, reflect, and grow. You are more than equipped to deal with this. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here.” ~Benjamin P Hardy
It’s 1 a.m., and the silence is broken by a cough that can only be described as sounding like someone who has smoked two packs daily for the last thirty years. There’s no way to predict when I’ll be woken again, but if the past week is any indication, this won’t be …
“I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable, beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings.” ~Mary Oliver
I was a beautiful, wild, and exhilarating kid. I marched to the beat of my unicorn drum and, to the confusion of adults, I did not fit into the typical boxes they had been anticipating.
This little kid was ready to thrive!
The freedom did not last long. My zest for life and unicorn drum beat quickly symbolized my weirdness. Adults tilted their heads in perplexity …