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Posts by Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people overcome internal blocks to meeting their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.

Lori Deschene's Website

Tiny Wisdom: On Life’s Beauty

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“It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.” -Proverb

There are some things in life that just don’t make any sense. There are things we can’t explain or understand, no matter how hard we try.

There are events that seem to have no reason and mistakes that appear to bring no lesson. There’s darkness that can feel completely unbearable and light that can seem far too fleeting to trust. One day’s happiness gives way to tomorrow’s sadness. One day’s loss is tomorrow’s gain.

The only guarantee in life is that everything will transform, whether we’re ready for it …

Tiny Wisdom: On What We Imagine

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“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein

For the past four weeks, I’ve been spending my off days at Disneyland. My boyfriend said that Walt Disney created something brilliant primarily because it gives the illusion of diverse experiences contained under one umbrella brand.

In addition to exploring a variety of fantasy lands, a Disney guest can also experience the western frontier, New Orleans Square, Hollywood, and the remote jungles of Africa and Asia. He can ride a steam-powered locomotive, a monorail, a double-decker bus, and a horse-drawn streetcar.

One day and $94 …

6 Tips: Work/Life Balance for People with Big Dreams

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“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton

The vast majority of people I know have two different types of work: the kind that pays the bills and the kind they wrap their heart around.

For some people, those are one and the same, but often that takes time, dedication, and a willingness to blur the traditional boundaries that separate work and social life.

Because let’s face it: It’s not always easy to make a living doing something you love.

The first challenge is to figure out what that is, and it’s …

Introducing: The Tiny Buddha Quote Widget

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The first Tiny Buddha quote appeared on Twitter in 2008. Since then, the archives have grown to include over 1000 wisdom quotes, with new quotes added every weekday.

You can now embed a daily wisdom quote right on your site with the Tiny Buddha Quote Widget for WordPress.

This plugin will display the quote of the day from Monday through Friday. On Saturday and Sunday, the plugin will deliver a random quote from the Tiny Buddha archives.

12/21/11 UPDATE: The quote widget has been changed so that it now delivers a random quote from the Tiny Buddha archives …

Tiny Wisdom: On Adapting

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“The art of life is constant readjusting to your surroundings.” ~Kazuko Okokaura

Oftentimes, when we don’t adapt to our surroundings, it’s because we refuse to see ourselves in new ways.

Maybe you think that you’re a shy person, so you let that justify sitting alone when an intimate gathering suddenly turns into a party.

Or you believe that you’re unmotivated, so you don’t make the effort to promote yourself when a potential new partner walks into your life.

Or you feel certain that you’re not tech-savvy, so you refuse to learn a new software that could make you far more …

Tiny Wisdom: On What We Believe

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“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I used the Twitter search functionality, looking for the phrase, “I believe in.” Here’s what I found:

“I believe in love.”

“I believe in magic.”

“There must be another way because I believe in taking chances.”

“I believe in people like me.”

“I believe in life itself.”

“I believe in dreams and that we control our destiny through our actions.”

“I believe in the sun even if it isn’t shining.”

“I believe in the words ‘never say never.'”

There’s something kind of beautiful about …

Giveaway: Tiny Buddha’s Handbook for Peace and Happiness

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Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. Subscribe to The Tiny Buddha List to learn about future contests, and click below to purchase this eBook for $10.97!

Since I launched tinybuddha.com in September of 2009, I’ve hosted quite a few giveaways for books that moved me.

Today is a very exciting day for me—one that’s a year in a half in the making: Today I am giving away five free copies of my book.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you may think I’m referring to my book about life’s hardest questions, which Conari Press …

Tiny Wisdom: On Impermanence

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“No feeling is final.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Most of the time, when we feel something overwhelming, it’s not just the feeling that weighs on us; it’s also the fear that it may persist.

That the deep sense of loss or longing will burrow a permanent hole in our hearts and we’ll never feel loved again. Or the disappointment will harden into an aching regret and we’ll never feel proud and excited again. Or the sadness will etch itself into our being and we’ll never feel happy again.

But everything eventually transforms. Happiness gives way to sadness gives way to happiness …

Tiny Wisdom: On Seeking Answers

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“Silence is a source of great strength.” ~Lao Tzu

Sometimes, when we feel stressed, frustrated, annoyed, confused, overwhelmed, or anything uncomfortable, it can seem tremendously helpful to talk about it incessantly.

But I’ve noticed that venting is often far less effective than I assume it will be. If you’ve ever talked yourself in circles instead of communicating and letting go, you know precisely what I mean.

All the words in the world can’t change the fact that sometimes we just need to sit with our feelings. No amount of validation, advice, or external support will change that we alone need …

Tiny Wisdom: On Where You’re Headed

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“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

One of life’s biggest challenges, I believe, is how to continually motivate yourself to keep going when you don’t yet know where your efforts are leading.

You need to write part of the book to even open the path to getting it published, but you don’t know for certain that you’ll get a deal. You need to push yourself to work toward profitability with your business, especially when the odds feel insurmountable, but you can never know for certain …

Tiny Wisdom: On Finding Your Purpose

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“There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.” ~Anais Nin

Someone asked me recently if I feel as though my life has changed since I found my purpose and started living it. This struck me as odd because it seems to imply before I discovered a professional path that felt meaningful to me, my life was meaningless.

It’s a logical conclusion: The opposite of having a purpose is being purposeless, doing without intent …

How to Discover Your Super Powers to Find Meaningful Work

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“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.” ~Buddha

It seems like the vast majority of people compartmentalize themselves.

There are the people they show to family and friends, built upon authenticity and genuine passions, and the people who wear work-appropriate masks to make a living from day to day.

I understand how this happens. It’s not easy to identify the work that would feel meaningful for you, discover how you can get on that path, and then consistently take action to create the life you visualize.

Recognizing what you want to do can …

25 Ways to Be a True Friend

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“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown

The other night I called an old friend I hadn’t talked to in a while. As we caught up, shared stories, and laughed over private jokes that would sound ridiculous had the phone been tapped, I wondered why I let so much time go by since I’d last given her a call.

We don’t live close to each other, so grabbing a drink or hitting up a yoga class isn’t an option. But really connecting with her, sharing pieces of my life  and receiving the pieces she wants to …

Tiny Wisdom: On Being Vulnerable

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“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” ~Brené Brown

To be vulnerable is to be free.

It gives you a break from trying to pretend you’re always right and you don’t have any flaws. It gives you permission to show your authentic self and stop taking responsibility for the way other people perceive you. It allows you to try new things and take the risk of feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

It also opens you up to the possibility of pain. We never know when we let our guard down that other people won’t hurt us, unintentionally or otherwise.

We can…

Tiny Wisdom: On Runaway Thoughts

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“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” ~Buddha

For the vast majority of my life, I took pride in being a fighter–which meant I was always ready for an attack so no one else could hurt me. The irony is that because of this mindset, I frequently hurt myself.

I was too busy guarding myself against other people’s negative intentions to create positive intentions of my own. I was too preoccupied judging and doubting people to connect with them on a meaningful level.

The people and things I fought weren’t the problem; my thoughts …

Tiny Wisdom: On the Future

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“Whatever the past has been, you have a spotless future.” ~Unknown

Everyone has something in their past they wish they could change. Whether it’s a mistake, a regret, a disappointment, or a deep pain, we’ve all had moments that can feel overwhelming if we try to hold onto them while building tomorrow.

We can never change what’s come and gone, but we can always choose instead to focus on what’s coming and where we’re going.

The future is never set in stone, no matter how limiting the past may have been. The only thing standing between us and new possibilities …

Tiny Wisdom: On Living with Honor

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“The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.” ~Socrates

Most of us live the majority of our lives for other people—trying to do what they want us to do, aiming to meet their expectations, and hoping to be seen as we’d like them to see us.

Trying to sway perception is exhausting and oftentimes fruitless because we can never dictate what other people think. We don’t get to control our reputation; we only get to shape our character.

Today, if you find yourself fixating on other people’s perceptions and judgments, …

4 Tips to Create Meaningful, Authentic Connections Online

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“The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.” ~Tom Ford

Three years ago I was living in the Bay Area, working for a start-up website as a community and content and manager. Every day, I signed online and wrote for hours about a topic that meant absolutely nothing to me.

I accepted the position because it was a dramatic pay increase from my previous temp and freelance lifestyle, and it afforded me my first solo apartment. I’d held dozens of different jobs in my time as I searched for meaningful work, and I certainly …

Tiny Wisdom: On Becoming Again

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“To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” ~Pema Chodron

A lot of times we say we want to expand our world, but without realizing it we attach to the way things are.

We attach to our feelings, relationships, and circumstances, and then fight to hold onto them for dear life. It’s scary to let go of what is and what works, and sometimes even what doesn’t work. Familiar and bearable can be a lot more comforting than the unknown and potentially dissatisfying.

And yet tomorrow is always unknown. No matter how secure we may feel …

Tiny Wisdom: On Being Fully What You Are

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“By accepting yourself and being fully what you are, your presence can make others happy.” ~Jane Roberts

I suspect we all want permission to be exactly who we are—to accept ourselves instead of feeling unsure of ourselves, and then somehow find a balance between being and improving.

When we see someone else who appears to do that, despite their weaknesses and flaws, it’s immensely inspiring and gratifying. Why? Because we all want to believe that even if we can be better, there’s nothing wrong with being exactly who we are.

Yet only we can give that feeling to ourselves. No …