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Posts by Mina Benjm

Mina Benjm is the founder of Viemina.com—a psychology and self-improvement blog covering relationships, mental health, and personal growth. She writes from lived experience, having navigated controlling relationships, emotional trauma, and burnout. She believes that understanding the patterns that shape us is the first step toward changing them. Read more of her work at viemina.com, where she writes honestly about the things most people feel but rarely say out loud.

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How I Lost Myself in a Controlling Friendship and What I Know Now

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“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” ~Søren Kierkegaard

I didn’t lose her all at once.

I lost myself first—slowly, quietly, in the way that only happens when someone you trust makes you doubt everything you think and feel.

She was magnetic when I met her. Warm, intense, the kind of person who made you feel chosen just by giving you her attention. I felt lucky to be her friend. That feeling lasted just long enough to blur what came next.

It started with small things. A plan I made that somehow became her plan. …