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Don’t let them win this fight Audrey. I agree with your views towards society even if we do live in different countries. It’s unfair how materialistic society has gotten but it doesn’t mean it’s right. You should focus on what’s right; for your self and the rest of the world. Ultimately your self but eventually you will contribute to this world as I plan on doing.
Expectation is the root of all suffering and no one can make you feel bad unless you allow them to. Don’t worry about any one else, comparing your self to them is only setting you up for more pain and misery. We are all human and we all deserve to live a happy life but it is our responsibility as well. I believe in the old philosophy saying “mind over matter” because any situation can be looked at in different ways. I personally believe that everything in this world is neutral and it’s only our minds that perceive things as good and bad, which is great to an extent but it can also be detrimental.
I just want you to know that you’re beautiful, simply because you’re human and you’re trying. You don’t have to be super skinny to be considered beautiful, only to superficial people you do. You don’t need a lot of money to be happy because happiness comes from within. It is a state of being. You don’t need validation from your parents or any one else to feel good about your self because as long as you’re trying your best to improve your situation, who can blame you? It’s actually one of the few things that we can all control; effort. If you don’t have goals, you need some not necessarily to have an end goal for your happiness but to give you some sort of direction. Focus on hobbies or just things in general that make you laugh and smile. You need more of that, we all do as a matter of fact. Don’t dwell in the victim mindset, everything happens for a reason. Take your hardships and look at them from an angle of understanding instead of judgement. Try to understand WHY these things are happening and what is the Universe, or life, trying to get your to do/see?
I know these are just words on a screen to you but I really mean this. You are beautiful.
I wish you the best Audrey. Much love,
I was watching a video yesterday and it brought me to tears because it shows people care, even if they don’t know you. I’m not talking about on the internet, although the community here is phenomenal. I mean in person, if you go out to the streets and try to talk to some people about it, you will see how much value you have by the single fact that you’re a human being. You do have to give, you’re just misguided. You’re dwelling in a bad mind state and you can overcome it. Check out the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOYlbO11x34&list=UUIEgk9WNDkIpDLFZkU2yN3g
Don’t identify with your thoughts. They’re negative but it doesn’t mean they’re true. Try thinking aloud instead of in your head, quietly. If you think out loud you have a chance to correct your self and say “No, that’s not true! Thanks for the thought but I don’t need it” Not exactly like that but you get the gist of it. Just reject the negativity when it appears and focus on what you do have in your life; what you’re grateful for.
You ever read the book “The Secret”? If not, I suggest you pick it up. It’s a great read and I re-read it every now and then.
The Universe will deliver what you focus on the most, good or bad. You can think all you want about how you DON’T want to have debt, you DON’T want this, you DON’T want that or you can focus on what you DO want, either way what you focus on is what It will deliver. It doesn’t see DO or DON’Ts it just gives you what you think of most frequently.
Do not think negative. Don’t think about what you’re trying to avoid or the things that stress you out. Just accept them as things that have happened and there’s nothing you can do but correct them with your actions NOW. Today and every day after that are the only times you can do something to create a better future. Give thanks every morning for another chance to work on your self and this world. Give thanks you have no idea how much good it can bring. While you’re bombarded by these troubling situations, do you think about how insignificant we are in the Universe? How small the Earth is compared to the rest of the galaxy, let alone how small humans are. Things are good/bad because of the labels we put on them, but they just happen to us. It’s not good or bad, it’s the Universe giving us what we think about.
I know it’s hard to have a positive outlook when all these things are happening but it’s the attention that you bring to them that welcomes more and more of these events to appear. Accept what happens, detach(emphasis on this) and live your life with a guided yet care less attitude. You need direction as you go through your life but try not to obsess about things that happen to you. If a bad situation appears yet again, try something different. Instead of bashing the Universe, think “The Universe is giving me signs on what I’m doing wrong” kinda like hinting what you need work on. You cannot take anything with you when you die. Only your soul.
Our souls know everything there is to know.. We just have to remember it through the experiences we deliberately put our selves through. Your thoughts will become your actions and those will become your experiences. Think positive, write down how a perfect day would do if you could have it every day and read it every morning. Just visualize what you WANT and eventually you will receive it.
Good luck to you and your endeavors!
rosamundi, I get where you’re coming from. You’ve brought up some valid points and questions like, Am I doing it for myself or for my mom? Good intentions were there but maybe I am being a bit too selfish. I will take the even safer approach and talk to her first.
Thank you for your kind and wise words 🙂
Hahaha, you guys made me laugh. I guess this was one of those ideas that sounded really good in my head but was just the opposite in reality. I see what you guys mean and I’ve reconsidered my initial idea because of it, it’s the thought that counts right? lol. I didn’t really think it out much, I just love em so much I wanted to share one with her but I’m going to go with Big Blue’s recommendation of the temporary and gift. Thanks to everyone for helping correct my fool of a mind! 🙂
I think the book “Courage” by Osho will make this decision easy for you. I’d explain a bit about it but I don’t think I would do the book justice. It’s a great read and even though I’m not done with it, it has helped me a lot. It’s given guidance on how to fill my life with adventure.
I wish you the best Tei.
I guess I had a misunderstanding of guru’s definition. I just meant someone that knows a lot on said subject 🙂 but agreed!
I have never heard of Lyle’s work, I’ll have to check him out.
I love this thread! TONS of useful information and references to be used later when I need a reminder. Thanks to OP for the interesting question and the rest of you for the awesome advice. This forum is like no other..
Peace and love to all of ya 🙂
Okay I get you now, but yes! I inadvertently resort to blaming my honesty for my lack of action and willingness to express myself in a selfless manner although I try getting out of my comfort zone every day. In a way, I’m happy with myself but I still long for my confidence/social skills to be where it was at back when I was in grade school. I was pretty normal but now, I’m a bit of an oddball lol. I actually do have the willpower to practice, it’s just sometimes fear gets in the way so my selfishness is what makes it a task for me. As Matt pointed out in one of my other posts, when I am stuck in my head (which is 99% of the time a pretty girl’s around) it makes it all about me and I know I have great things to offer.. but I can’t share the love when my mind’s preoccupied and not fully in the present. This is my issue and I’m striving to improve.
You made me chuckle with the last paragraph because you actually described me spot on haha, even with the “adorable turtle” part. 😉 A few months ago for my friend’s birthday, we were all going out to a saloon to celebrate and I was in a great mood at the beginning of the night so I had not a problem conversing with this one cool girl, in the now. I noticed some signs she made and I’m sure she was interested and wanted for me to take it a bit further, but that’s when I froze up and started acting weird. It’s like my awareness of her interest automatically made that shell come out and I pretty much ignored her for the rest of the night although I didn’t want to. I was just stuck and I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to go about it or how to make a move. Or.. I don’t know, I make things too complicated. I’d happily let me guard down but it’s sort of like a different Vic comes out in times of uncertainty due to the lack of experience in relationships and prior outcomes. :\ (Here I go again taking the blame off myself :D) I hope it will be easier now that you’ve pointed this out for me. Thanks Ruminant, I really appreciate the wise words and insight you give.
I believe she said this for her own closure. She wanted no words to be left unsaid and she let her feelings about your relationship be known to you. I don’t think it was anything more but I could be wrong. If it makes you too uneasy not knowing, I’d recommend just asking her to clarify. Don’t make assumptions, just ask questions if you’re not sure. Leave the past in the past, let the future come to you, and live FULLY in the present.July 14, 2014 at 12:25 pm in reply to: Inner City Youth Group Creating Music 4 Peace: BLISS – Kickstarter #60862
Being a beginner artist, I love what they’re doing. Music is one of my passions and I support you guys 1000%!
Thank you Matt!
And Ruminant, I’m very grateful for your well thought out response. I completely agree that I should shy away from labeling myself as one type of person because we are never so 100% of the time. I’m not gonna lie, you lost me a bit in the middle paragraphs where you spoke about justification for failing to be considerate so please forgive my ignorance haha. You gave a lot of insight in the next paragraph and I do have some maturing to do because I do lack in some areas and perhaps I try to make up for it by pretending I’m solid in those characteristics, reading social cues being one of them. I once heard “fake it till you become it” and it sounded like a good method/mind set in order to cultivate the skills I desired but it doesn’t seem to work for me, at least in this situation. Thank you for your time!
@danaken I completely agree with you.. I hate that it’s a game as well. I will continue to work on it as you are, thanks for the kind words! 🙂
@therock Matt gave very good advice and I found myself repeating the “Is it kind, necessary, and true?” phrase yesterday. It actually helped! I am guilty of saying those self-deprecating truths not knowing it can kill the girls interest in me but we live and we learn right? You’re right about every single person’s truth being subjective but that’s what makes me not worry about mine too much. I understand that what I believe may not be true but it’s mine and I will follow my soul’s truth until I expire. I just try to keep a positive mind set at all times and my beliefs back me up so I know I will be fine.
One thing that I’ve learned in the past couple years is not to regret. It’s not instilled permanently yet but I make an effort to catch myself when I regret. Like you said, “All of our perspectives are affected by the lens that we’re looking through” so that’s why I try not to, because every single thing we go through has a lesson that we can take from it. It’s all about seeing the good in the bad. Those harsh words you used towards your ex shouldn’t be stressed because you’ve realized the kind of person you came off as and you didn’t like it so take it as a lesson, ya know? Don’t let it ruin your mood in the present. Thanks for sharing Little Buddha!
@aMatt Hey Matt, whenever you have time, would you care to link some of the writings you’ve used to inform yourself on right speech? I find your advice very useful and being subpar at articulation, I’d like to get a better, more elaborate understanding of right speech and speaking truly. I doubt you’d want to continue explaining the same subject and I don’t mean to bug you haha. Whether you do or you don’t, I appreciate your input. Thank you!
I really recommend Paul Chek’s wonderful book “How to eat move and be healthy”. I bought it on amazon for $20 or so and it is very well explained. He also has a background in Spirituality so kudos to him, I believe it will help you tremendously.
Good luck! 🙂