Maria,

Anger, pain, regret, despair are all cries for help.

I hope sharing here with empathetic and sympathetic people here will somewhat help.

Mark

Princess123,

What you are talking about is love being a feeling.  Feelings are transitory as anita has pointed out.  Mature love is a more than those goo-goo eye feelings.  Google the difference between mature vs. immature love.

Mature love is based on mutual respect, trust, and acceptance of each other.

Your boyfriend’s “mistake” was to snoop through your emails.  This was not respect or trust.

Do not get hung up on why you are “falling out of love.”  Examine why you “need” to stay with this person.  Do you love and respect yourself?  Would you advise a close friend to tolerate such behavior?

You gave examples of current and past boyfriends and their behavior.  Note the pattern for those relationships and work on yourself so you will be able to have a healthy, trusting relationship next time.

Mark

Yeahitsme,

With ANY close relationship clear, honest, direct, and compassionate communication is KEY.  Have you talked with her about it?

Mark

Nichole,

I was very verbally abusive during the situation and even physical
He says he needs time to work on himself and forgive himself and me for things during the relationship. He says I also need time for healing and to find myself again
I completely relied on him for my happiness.

I did not read how you have worked on yourself once you left him.  I did not read what guarantees he has made not to cheat again.

Until both of you have made a commitment to change and actively engage in the process of changing then what makes you think it will be any different?

Find a therapist and start making changes to learn more about yourself and how to be healthier.

Mark

diane,

Your daughter is a lost cause.  You cannot help someone who will not help themselves. You can lead the horse to water but cannot make it drink.

It also sounds like her husband is the perfect foil for her so looking to get help for your grandchildren is a lost cause as well.

Do what you can to help your children and let go of the rest.

I agree on what anita has suggested except knowing how social services works in my state that calling them won’t do much good.

Mark

Valkyrie72,

1. Dating for 1.5 yrs
2. Love “taking care” of him
3. Bad anxiety with anxiety attacks. Handling it with pot but been off it because of his new job.
4. Does not want to live together
5. Does not keep in touch with his daughter and does not care about her
6. Does not keep in touch anymore

My take on what you shared is that all relationships have a romantic/honeymoon phase that lasts 9 months to 1.5 yrs. Then it reaches a conflict phase where it either goes to the next phase or breakup.
I think that he is still struggling about how to handle his anxiety. There are prescriptions for that too.
I wonder about his attitude toward his daughter for that is more of a red flag for me.

Mark

V,

How about you ask him to convert to Buddhism instead?  Or Islam?  Or atheism?  Or …?

Just being facetious.  Yes you are right.  There is no hope in this relationship working out.

Mark

Jecky,

Is the age difference the only reason why you don’t your dad to remarry?

Mark