I also read something online a few weeks ago that I found helpful.

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Read it. Then read it backwards once again your mind.

This is how we control our thoughts. How we guide them into where we want our attention to settle.

I thought, well if I can do it with reading which for me is thinking about the words I see. I can think about words I choose any time I want to.

So when anxious thoughts start popping up to myself. I think something silly and offbeat to myself. ELEPHANT. ELEPHANT. ELEPHANT.

The repetition reminded me of a System of a Down song where they sing “BANANA, BANANA, TERRICOTA, TERRICOTA PIE”. I use this one as well.

But yes. The point is, it’s the ability to distract yourself from the anxious thoughts. This might involve choosing to do an activity. Watching TV or exercise for example. I also find that if I’m busier, I have less time alone with my anxious thoughts because my mind is focused on tasks or activities.

Hi Anita

I’m sorry for disturbing you and I’m sorry that you feel hurt.

You have been making multiple comments that suggested that you were upset about comments being reported.

I just don’t believe in ignoring people. We frequent the same forum. I wanted to give you the opportunity to speak about it.

I’m going to point out that I haven’t even attempted to communicate with you until you started to make these comments about your feelings being hurt about reported comments.

You asked that I report your comments instead of discussing issues and said that was what you preferred. People are allowed to disagree with language used. Most of the time your language is fine. Other times I find it can be harsh and I am concerned for other members of the community.

I’m going to point out that I report other users comments when they use harsh language too. It is up to moderators to decide how they wish to handle any reported comments.

Again, I’d like to acknowledge that you have made generally made great improvements in how you communicate with members.

If you would like to discuss this further please feel free to reply or create your own topic.

Don’t forget to add these things to your list of what makes you a good boyfriend!

Hi Mindy

You are in my prayers. 🙏

I’m glad that you have found things that help. Your therapist sounds like a great one. I love her advice. I’m glad you have your sweet kitties taking care of you.

You are so thoughtful, caring and wise. Everything you need is already inside of you.

I think crying given the situation is understandable, it’s an important part of the grieving process. You are right though, your health is important. It’s a delicate balance. I’m sure your wisdom will help guide you through these trying times.

Please continue to reach out any time you would like to.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏

Hi Eric

I think one main gift either the handbag or the bracelet is enough. But you could maybe do something on the side smaller like flowers or chocolate or something like that.

You said that your partner uses social media. Does she have her relationship status on her account? If not you might want to have a conversation with her before making changes.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to tell friends. It’s not like your relationship is a secret. I’m sure they’d want you to be happy.

Or is it a secret? Why are you hiding it? Haven’t got around to announcing it yet? Is it because of anxiety? Or because you were asked to?

Hi Mindy

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of the anniversaries of deaths of family members at the moment. My heart goes out to you. It all sounds very fresh, raw and painful. Your plan of trying to get through this period without losing your mind is a good one. Sometimes life is so difficult, that is all we can ask.

I hope that you lean on your therapist and access additional mental health services as appropriate. I know that I have needed to do so myself during difficult anniversaries (a different situation).

You don’t deserve all of the pain you experience. Even the people who are treating you badly you have discussed with empathy, kindness and compassion. Your kindness is a light in this world.

Would it be okay if I prayed for you?

Hi Eric

Watching a stand up comedy show sounds like a great idea. A bracelet sounds more romantic.

Meditation doesn’t necessarily take much time. When starting out people often recommend to do it for a short amount of time like 5 mins. If you get frustrated at any point it’s suggested to take a break and come back to it later.

Sometimes people find that they prefer to do it for longer amounts of time as opposed to shorter. I found it difficult to calm down initially and ended up practicing for longer periods to overcome that.