Dear Sammy!

I felt so much empathy when reading your entry. I’ve just very recently posted about this problem myself.

In my heart, I know I want to be a singer. But I’m scared to get started. And I also have to earn money to support myself. Probably much like you, which is why you’re stuck in that 9-5 job.

Now, you have set small goals – baby steps, as they say – that’s what I’m doing now. Maybe see if you can work part-time, and when you’re off work, you can design, create, be, live. Try and pick up something like yoga, or taking walks to get movement into your life. Inform yourself about good, healthy foods and COOK them yourself. Cooking to me is like meditation and art in one. It’s a creation, a meal that can do my body good and fuel it.

Don’t try and do EVERYTHING all at once. Start with one thing. About the moving away: I know the feeling. But honestly, nowadays you can do anything from anywhere. Get your work out there! Make a tumblr page – get your creative juices flowing!

If you really feel like the place you live in limits you, start planning on where you could go. Remember though, it will take time and will be hard. New place, new job, new people. It can be exciting, but also scary. But if you want it – do it!

I have made it my goal to move to NYC soon, and slowly but surely I’m starting to plan it in my head. And if I fail – who cares. We will fail so many times in this life, but never trying is the worst failure of all – because we failed ourselves.

Sammy, I hope I was somewhat helpful. Keep going, don’t give up on your dreams, my dearest.

xx

I love your view on courage. To me, courage means to be myself, accept myself and tell people “Hey! This is me, these are my dreams.” with a strong but loving voice. Courage is telling a friend your truth, maybe that you’re worried about them, and not looking away.
But most of all, it’s what you said: just accepting the present moment as is.

Hello Anna!

I would have to agree with trusttheflow. My brother is now 28. My parents have been divorced for many years, and we always lived with our mom and visited our dad. So when he was 16, my brother decided to go live with my father, which was bad. He then moved out at 18 to live with friends and completely spiraled out of control. He drank, smoked weed and was mostly absent from school. He’s incredibly smart and acutally a loveable person, but got kicked out of high school four weeks before the final exams. Since then, he has never finished or really started anything. At 21, he moved back in with my mom and I. I moved out two years later on a very small wage, because I couldn’t handle it anymore. All she did was enable him, being “understanding” and just feeding him through. Which she still does now.
I understand as a mother, it must be so hard to be rough. But your daughter is 20, she’s not a child anymore. Tell her to either party outside of the house or she has to find another place to stay. She has a job, if that doesn’t cut it, she has to find another one. Believe me, once she lives on her own, she will see how hard it is to party, drink and smoke and also provied for yourself, going to work every day. She will learn, she will mature and grow up. If she really falls off the wagon, you’re still there. You can help then. For now, you can help her by letting her spread her wings and owning up to her own decisions.

I hope this helped!

Dear SugarBee

Your situation sounds tough, so I want to take a few minutes to tell you that you are amazing. I think it’s great that you want to finish grad school in order to provide your kids with a comfortable life. It’s a really responsible thing to do, as well as being important to do this for yourself.

What I didn’t understand from reading your story is why you’re no longer on speaking terms with your grandma? Does she blame you for her illness? That must be really painful. But my advice really is tough: eliminate people who are negative forces in your life. Turn to friends, your boyfriend… People who reinforce positivity into your life and lend a helping hand when needed.

I can’t imagine having kids and being in such a difficult situation. But on the other hand, you have purpose, you have something to hold on to, a reason why you get up every day. And they will be forever thankful, I’m sure.
You can do this! And please, get help for your depression. Make sure you take care of yourself, only then will you be able to take care of your kids.

Much love
Helen

Dear Abraham

You sound like a pretty chipper person, but that is hard to “analyze” from this one post. What I can read is that your fatigue comes from nowhere, or not from things you could pinpoint exactly. So maybe go see another doctor, check your Vitamin B12 and other things until it’s clear that your problems are not physical.
If there’s nothing to find, it is possible that it comes from a mild depression, or depressed phase. I myself have experienced this when I had depression. But it wasn’t just a few days, it was more and more and at some point all the time. So seeing a psychologist might be a good thing. Maybe there is a traumatic event or a stress situation in your life that you are not dealing with? That can cause such issues.

I wish you all the best!

Well, dear Corinne
Alcohol can bring out our worst side. And we lose all inhibitions. If you feel like it, apologize to him in a few days – sincerely, and not blaming the alcohol for it but telling him – as he probably knows – that the few too many drinks sure didn’t help and you will do anything to never let this happen again.
If he’s being cold and distant for a few days – let him be. But if he won’t let go and forgive you for this, then it might be a sign that things could go wrong. You can’t move on from fights without forgiveness.
Hope you feel better soon!
Lots of love
Helen

Dear Ron

This situation is tricky, and I understand that you fear the loss of a friend. But I believe in 2 great outcomes for this situation: 1) you tell her how you’ve felt about her for the last years and you become a couple. 2) You tell her and she does not feel the same way – but you can stay friends. Yes, this will be painful, and yes, you will feel rejected if she doesn’t see you as a possible partner for an intimate relationship. But if you are truly great friends, with a little distance, you will be able to figure it out.

I would tell her, because life is so short and it is not often that we meet people who we truly connect with.

So I hope I could help.

All the best to you!