Hi Seekingwisdom,

My sister went through something similar (but not the exact same symptoms, of course!) with Doctors and specialists not finding anything. My nephew’s eyes were turning ~ yellow!! I kept saying Gaucher Syndrome (as I’m a carrier), but all blood and genetic tests came back “negative”, etc.

Here’s the deal: Naturopathic remedies AND Western medicine can be overrated. WHAT HEALS US IS what we **DON’T** put in our bodies. It’s not the treatments. It’s eliminating the crap.

I told my sister to stop feeding the kids take outs and instant meals. Put all fruits and veggies in the house in a blender. Feed nephew only that for a month. Wouldn’t you know it, the yellow eyes went away! Now she only shops at Whole Foods and Farmer’s Markets.

Another thing that helps is getting rid of and turning off all electronics, not having them in our bedrooms even. Also, taking your shoes off and walking barefoot on rocks and the ground. Being in Nature.

Let’s say this is all in her head ~ then let your ex take some sort of control. I know it’s hard. But once she sees that both parents are on the same team, her anxiety will dissipate.

Let’s say that there is something (i.e. undiagnosed Lyme). Now that she is older, let HER take part in her own recovery. We all instinctively know what we want or need. Take her to the Health Food store and to the bookstore to pore over medical and healing books. Have her choose the foods, supplements and remedies. Once she feels some sense of control, that will help her outlook and make real physical symptoms easier to bear.

Good Luck!

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

I think she is trying to be friendly. If you ever meet up, give her the gift and say, “By the way, this is for your Mom”. The mom (at the very least) will be impressed.

Hi jock,

I want to be remembered as the Matriarch of my family, and not just my kids. Even though I’m the youngest, I want to still be “The Holiday Aunt” that makes sure everyone can get together in our house and eat good food, sing, and have a great time!

To pay, or help pay for everyone’s college educations so they don’t find themselves in crippling debt before their working life has even begun.

And, in ten or twenty years perhaps, do something “great”. Now, I don’t know what “great” is yet. But something along the lines of, say, that guy who would fly destitute Russian Jews to Israel.

And of course people finding out at my funeral how much I really did do and being all, “What an amazing woman, I had no idea.” 😀

But in the meantime, being a Good Person, or simply striving to be good, is, in itself, a triumph. (At least that’s what I tell myself!) LOL

Blessings,

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Hi Melissa,

It could very well be the stress of the deadlines. Once those are out of the way and you still have “monkey-mind” when trying to sleep or waking up from sleep, see if you can change the script so your body/mind has something new to ponder.

Ideas:

An alarm with meditative/spa music
Jump out of bed immediately singing something
Exercise
Sleeping in a different room
Prayer
Yoga

During the day try therapy or meditation to change the script of the negative thoughts. Or simply go on a good old fashioned vacation to get away. Even by yourself for the weekend!!

Blessings,

Inky

Hi Flower,

I’m assuming he knew you were in an Open Marriage when you hooked up the first time. I hate to say it, but that is every man’s fantasy and part of the allure. “I get to sleep with other women and keep my wife? Awesome!” or “I get to bang Joe’s wife and he’s OK with it? Awesome!” I am learning that that is NOT how it is at all in Open Relationships (according to those in Open Relationships) but it IS how the general population views it at first blush. Of course your BF was warm, open and loving ~ he could be without having to pay the price!

But look, now you are going through a real grown-up divorce and are talking about real grown-up commitment. I’m sorry, but my crush wanting to move across the ocean to be with me would freak me out too, no matter how much I loved him! He would basically be or at least feel responsible for you ~ the very opposite of when he met you!

You’ve also got to understand that people are mostly monogamous most of the time. Good for you for exploring the polyamorous side! But now it’s time to also honor the way we humans in general are made to be ~ monogamous.

What I would do is not mention it again. Then next year visit more or have the visit be longer. Etc. Eventually it will be as if you lived there, and then one day you will! Will the guy still be around or available? Will you? I don’t know. You’d have to feel it out as you go along.

Take Care,

Inky

A favorite question can be: “Am I not allowed to make a mistake?”

When you give yourself permission to make a mistake the rest of your life will seem beautiful and graceful.

To elegance and dignity! 🙂

Hi AcceptingMe,

Is it possible to take a break from the situation this year ~ and to do something else totally unrelated in which you succeed to build up your confidence?

Can you find a similar/parallel type of situation where you can succeed and then come back next year to this situation and rock it?

Can you find the same exact situation away from the gossipy people?

Can you take classes about your situation?

Make a joke in front of the group, “I am such a dunderhead, I always mess up in this situation, watch me do it again!!” Kind of a pre-emptive gossiping strike?

Hope any of the above helps!

Inky