Forum Replies Created
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Hi jock,
I want to be remembered as the Matriarch of my family, and not just my kids. Even though I’m the youngest, I want to still be “The Holiday Aunt” that makes sure everyone can get together in our house and eat good food, sing, and have a great time!
To pay, or help pay for everyone’s college educations so they don’t find themselves in crippling debt before their working life has even begun.
And, in ten or twenty years perhaps, do something “great”. Now, I don’t know what “great” is yet. But something along the lines of, say, that guy who would fly destitute Russian Jews to Israel.
And of course people finding out at my funeral how much I really did do and being all, “What an amazing woman, I had no idea.” 😀
But in the meantime, being a Good Person, or simply striving to be good, is, in itself, a triumph. (At least that’s what I tell myself!) LOL
Blessings,
Inky
Hi soulz,
Oh, a lot things can ground me, drive me, etc.
If something bothers me I think “So what?” and/or “This too will pass.”
Things that help me:
Reading
Online gaming
Prayer
Yoga
Meditating
Cooking
Looking at my Goals/Intentions for the year (not just the To Do list)
Asking myself (let’s say I fail/”fail” at a diet ~ “Am I sticking to the Spirit of the diet?”) “Am I sticking to the Spirit of what I’m trying to do?”Hope this helps!
Blessings,
Inky
Hi Amy,
Deep down the father knows you’re not being a so-and-so, he knows that counseling and courses is the LEAST he should do so other people have a HOPE that visitation won’t be a nightmare for the child. Of course, telling someone they need counseling and courses is the same as telling them they are wrong, which is the last thing an alcoholic wants to hear!! So no guilt, OK? I mean what else is there to do at this point??
The other thing is him being in a relationship and moving in together ~ it’s like he is the bad guy (he is, IMHO) but look, he gets to live a normal-ish life and move on as if nothing ever happened and as if he is OK, and meanwhile you’re the one with all the guilt, all the angst, all the stress. So yeah, I’d be pissed at him too!
And listen, your child wasn’t the first accidental pregnancy and s/he won’t be the last. These things happen all the time, every day! The important thing is your child is here! And believe it or not, you are almost a third of the way raising him/her! It goes so quick, I know you don’t believe me, especially now! But the guilt is a useless emotion! Enjoy your child, and forget about the father unless it’s to make sure visitation is safe.
OK, you Hang in There!!
Inky
Well, I posted something totally unrelated on FB and the wife Liked it and Commented in a positive way. So either they heard about the fallout from the JW lady and want the friendship to continue as usual, OR they haven’t heard about it yet!
If the JW lady makes a stink about me to the neighbors, or says I’m a “bad association” or whatever, maybe it will snap them out of it. They are in so deep I think they’d be embarrassed to bail on it now. But maybe it will plant a seed that it’s OK not to like it!! Or if they ask me what happened and I’m all, “Look, I gave it a chance but it’s not for me” or even, “Hunh, the JW lady kept coming by and I never could see her or I wasn’t there, and they’re disappointed? Oh well! What are you gonna do?”
My neighbors are not what they call Unbaptized Publishers, meaning they don’t go door to door.
With the JW lady, I feel like the fish that she thought she could (eventually) reel in that got away! LOL
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 