It sounds like abuse or an affair.

What I would do (let’s say it’s a creepy uncle who made a pass at you or is cheating on his wife):

Say to him, “I know about/I’m still upset about (blank). CUT IT OUT or I will tell Aunt/my parents.”

He has had a warning. You don’t upset anybody. He will probably stop. If not, you can truthfully say, “I didn’t want to upset the family, but this has to end. Don’t kill the messenger. I’m sorry he made his choice.”

You get your power back. He gets scared straight.

Is this close to the secret you’re talking about?

Hi Elle Tinker700,

I hate to say it, but Angela isn’t an UN-common name! It’s like Jennifer, Mike or Chris. I wouldn’t read too much into it. I do share your belief in that the Universe will match you with the person you’re meant to be with!

Blessings,

Inky

Hi marcel9710,

Working for the family business can be the worst! It’s either workaholism, or in some families you get paid for not really doing anything (because they don’t actually trust you to do it!). No one takes you seriously because you’re working for “dad”.

What I would do is (if you’re getting paid enough) hire a personal assistant to do office work, errands and calls. Then that frees you up to do the work that matters. Even if it’s just someone who picks up your dry cleaning or cleans your apartment once in a while. Anything to get that stress off!

Tell your mom you will work part-time. That’ll shock them, but might be necessary. “Doctor’s Orders”.

Meanwhile, you can look for another job! Or start a (very) small side business. Maybe you are good in business, who knows?! Or start a business with someone else!

Good Luck to you!!

Inky

Another one bites the dust.

Two people become Anonymous in the course of one forum discussion!

Anita and Jack: Maybe you guys could become friends in real life. Commune on FaceBook. Join the military and be in the same squadron/platoon. I appreciate your alliance, but at this rate you’ll be talking to yourselves by the end of the year!

Challenge (if you choose to accept it, it is difficult): Try letting a comment hang. Try not getting in the last word. Try waiting a day before responding. Sometimes it’s more powerful if someone else (a third??) backs you up or confirms your thoughts.

I honestly couldn’t understand why one person left, but I also honestly couldn’t understand how the downward spiral of the “guard dog” issue happened.

I notice on Tiny Buddha there are many “drive bys” ~ people ask a question, and then leave. I gotta tell ya, I’ll miss Moon Gal and Pomplemous! I’d hate for the regulars to be just us!

This is kind of why I only post once a day. To encourage different voices and to cut down on this type of head butting.

Sorry I’m late to the party on this, but maybe we all should take a sabbatical?

Hi Nina,

My story isn’t dramatic like yours, and it isn’t even a story. It’s a changed mindset.

I was raised by slightly paranoid parents who were always afraid of being sued. Also grew up in an intellectual orbit and cut my teeth on double entendres, Survival of the Fittest dogma, and high brow radio/TV programs. So there was a part of me that TRULY, truly believed that people don’t care (not about me, anyway) and are only out for themselves (and their family if feeling charitable that day). That if they think about you at all, they would turn on you if they had to.

I grew up, moved, and life went on. Was raising my family in a similar “cosmopolitan” community, but softer around the edges because it was so child centric. Now my belief system unconsciously changed to “They’ll love you, but only if you’re 20 and under”.

Well, my FIL died. We drove 45 minutes away back to our hometown. All the townies and family members were there. It wasn’t a packed church, but most of the pews had at least some friends in them. Violins were playing outside the church and Scottish bagpipers were playing inside. I get up and say my speech, don’t notice anything/anyone out of the ordinary. Sit down. The military flag men were there. They folded up the American flag with pomp and circumstance and handed it to my MIL. Everyone was losing it with crying at this point.

I happen to look past my MIL and do a shocked double-take. Meeting my eyes and smiling were: The parish nurse and the head pastor of our church! We had told no one that my FIL had died, much less when and where the service was! And besides, this was 45 long minutes away from our home! They DIDN’T have to do this! They knew NO ONE! I wouldn’t have done it myself. Yes, they are paid to watch the flock, HOWEVER, I had never seen it IRL before!!

Some people really do Walk the Talk. They had to have followed my FIL’s progress (they did know he was sick), and find out from another town’s paper, make time and go. It seems like “nothing” but that one (ONE) act of kindness changed my belief system that people are (or can be) Good.

Best,

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Inky.

Hi Fern,

I’d like to second jack on giving older guys a chance. Guys in their twenties seem a little immature to me nowadays. Guys in their thirties can still get that commitment = jumping off a cliff feeling. Find someone pushing or at forty. If he is single, it usually means that he has had probably one or two long term relationships and knows how life and relationships “work” by now. i.e. Bring her flowers. Take her out once in a while. Be polite. Clean your house on a semi-regular basis. Have a steady source of income. Know how to take care of yourself.

Blessings,

Inky

Hi jack,

I’m glad we are all respectful and connected on this forum ~ even when we disagree!

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Inky.