But in the New Testament they had this problem all the time. The takeaway was (and is) marry unbelievers for then there is a chance that they could find God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit through YOU! There is nothing wrong with that and in fact may be what God wants for you! Reread Acts and The Letters.

The Problems/Fears/Realities:

1. He is now afraid of doing physical things he used to do. Not because he can’t do them but because of fears that he’ll be stuck out in the Rockies with the Boy Scouts and what if something goes wrong? (With him). Same with double black diamonds on the ski trails. That if he gets injured it would take longer to recover.

2. I now want to travel. He wants to wait until the last kid is out of the house. But then what about $$$? I say we have plenty of money for a weekend away at least, and then we have the conversation of “How much is enough?” I want to get on with it in case he really can’t travel one day.

3. Is it my imagination or is he getting crotchety?? Could be 20 years of marriage though, hmm.. What if he gets inflexible mentally??

4. I hate the “old man smell” you know what I mean, that most old men eventually get? Hasn’t happened yet, but..

5. When I think of the possibility of living without him for at least a decade of my life I cry.

6. Stupid things that make me want to die first ~ if he’s gone, how will I shut down his business, manage online accounts (he does all the finances online, spreadsheet, the works), upkeep the house, bumps in the night, maybe moving.

7. I wanted another child, but gave up that desire because now even I cannot imagine him managing that.

At his end I’m sure he thinks I’m hopelessly immature as he compares me to “a bottle of fine wine that gets better with age.” Not a compliment, buddy!!

But that said, if the age difference is ALL there is “wrong”, GO for it!! There are: addictions, being broke, personality disorders, cheating, much, much worse problems that some people can have.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Inky.

P.S. You know what to do ~ Crack open the books and continue with your great job!!

How old are your kids? Are they adults that want space, or minors (who speak through the mother that they want space)? If they are adult children saying this, then the car accident was a sign. If they are minors then the car is another time delay between you and seeing them. I don’t like how many people in your life are saying that YOU need to work on yourself, that they need a break from YOU. And you’re buying it? Unless it’s abuse (physical, substance, emotional) something else is going on here.

I stand by what I said before:

1. “GF, I am devoting my energies to my kids. See ya.”
2. “Listen to me Girls, I’m your Father!”

Hi Anyone,

It’s human nature to be conflicted. We are never 100% anything. Just acknowledge that a part of you likes to feel wanted, and sometimes it manifests as a phone call. The silence of the phone (suddenly) might mean you are wanted just as much as ever. I don’t know how you broke it off with her or how she feels, but she got the message (from you, a friend or a Woman’s Day magazine) “When a man tells you he wants his space, give it to him!” So there ~ whenever you “hear” the silence of the phone, feel better, that is what that is.

It sounds like you like being the one in control with setting boundaries. Maybe you miss the drama/tension of resistance?

Hi Mermaid,

You are still very young. And to give up one of the belief systems of your faith, travel to a different country, AND live with him would rock anyone’s world, no matter how old and self-assured they were.

Unless you’re in a solid marriage (and even then sometimes) it can be normal to have a shadow of anxiety and doubts.

You might be more comfortable in your own place, having a space of your own. Faith has nothing to do with that one. Or the boyfriend, or state of the relationship, for that matter.

But, that’s just me.

Good Morning!

I am so old school on this one I flip to the other side, a radical one.

“All’s fair in love and war.”

And, people used to date each other, many people, a lot. And once you find the right one, you “Know”. Then there’s no messing around.

I say, if she’s not engaged, go for it.

I also say, a real live, current, close relationship trumps a long distant, long drawn out, mostly virtual relationship.

There is one magic line to free yourselves of the whole mess. But only she can utter the enchanted words.

They are: “I met somebody.”