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Inky

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Viewing 15 posts - 391 through 405 (of 2,508 total)
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  • January 26, 2019 at 11:04 am in reply to: Negative feelings #277051
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi nrk2208,

    Yes, I agree. A few short years ago you were a young guy with few responsibilities, relatively care free.

    Now with a baby, you are the first and last line of defense. In short, you are now a grown up.

    Welcome to our ranks! Your first responsibility is, ironically, to your own health.

    Go to a doctor and/or a councilor.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 25, 2019 at 4:57 am in reply to: Is he depressed ? ( In need of advice ) #276787
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Logan,

    Well, his past ghosting speaks for itself. If he ghosts again, you won’t be surprised.

    But honestly? His mother is on life support. He is under a phenomenal amount of emotional stress right now, even if he doesn’t know it and even if he were the most well adjusted person in the world.

    I faded away from my friends when my father was dying. Some took it personally. Because I didn’t let them in. Some because of the guilt they felt when they realized that they didn’t even know my father was dying, highlighting that they were crappy friends to begin with because they never reached out during that time (not your situation!).

    What I would do is leave him alone and let him reach out. Send an occasional text so he knows he’s not forgotten.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 24, 2019 at 7:03 am in reply to: Feeling conflicted in a weird situation #276599
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Shae03,

    Maybe you resent just a little being lumped together with her like you are an item?

    Would it help to bring a date to these get togethers, politely bow out of a few of them or to go out with friends without her?

    Another possible thing that could theoretically be happening is this… Sometimes we are in fact attracted to and bonded with people who are not our “type”, people who are not conventionally attractive.

    Anyway, good luck with this, I had been through it myself.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 23, 2019 at 10:14 am in reply to: I feel like i ruined my girlfriends life #276445
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi John,

    I know it will be super painful, but get rid of your girlfriend and her kids!! OMG, I feel that she totally took advantage of you. You are not a horrible person for kicking them out, but they should never have moved in to begin with! Also, you really have no business dating and introducing girlfriends to your kids. This is what happens. Can you wait until they are grown before doing this sort of thing again?

    One way to get rid of them if you are renting is to take your kids on vacation and casually never return. Let the rent lapse or she can get roommates to cover it from now on. OR what my parents did is they literally sold their house so they weren’t “kicking their son out” and moved into a one bedroom 500 square foot house so he couldn’t move in.

    Just be honest and say you are going nuts here.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 22, 2019 at 7:00 am in reply to: Ex and Sibling Conflicts #276079
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Kara,

    Out of the billions of females on the planet, he chose your sister? That your “No” is so outrageous that they ignore you and it’s an open secret that their seeing each other?

    I hate when people ask you if something would be OK, and then get pissed when you say “No”. Like them asking you is just a formality.

    Well, I say HONOR your feelings. If they are uncomfortable with it, let them be responsible for THEIR feelings.

    Your sister’s question is “Is this relationship worth giving up my sister over?”

    The answer is “Obviously not.”

    Now the onus is on HIM to be the perfect boyfriend or potential husband for this to be worth it at all.

    Because if it fails (it will) THEY will look like utter jerks.

    Let it be Awkward,

    Inky

    January 21, 2019 at 11:14 am in reply to: Twin Flames? #275991
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi StraightNoChaser,

    Twin flames are seldom romantically involved. Just because you share the same soul doesn’t mean a relationship would be appropriate (probable age difference, one or both married, distance, related).

    If you feel you are losing your mind, it could be Twin Flame Imposter Syndrome. Your souls RIGHT NOW are congruent, but as each of you live your lives, your souls will naturally develop in different places.

    I would much prefer to be with my husband who is in my soul group, a boy who the angels set me up with from the same town.

    If I met my Twin Flame though, I’d probably kill him.

    See the difference?

    Wishing you Peace,

    Inky

     

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Inky.
    January 20, 2019 at 10:22 am in reply to: Stuck in comparison cycle #275777
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi YesGee,

    I assure you that even in your very own suburb there are plenty of parents who choose to stay home for vacations, who only have their child in just one after school activity and who let him/her navigate their own way to get into college.

    Be one of those parents who is above it all. Choose your friends wisely. Become friends with the parents of your children’s friends. Join the local rec center. Join a religious/spiritual community. You don’t have to become best pals with anyone, but just being involved in the community and having occasional face time with people is good for you AND your kids. Enjoy the rhythm of suburban life.

    Teach your children what really matters. And if the other adults aren’t careful, they might learn something! 😉

    Best,

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Inky.
    January 20, 2019 at 10:12 am in reply to: Please ! Need insight Bu #275765
    Inky
    Participant

    Thanks anita!

    I could theoretically show what I wrote to my own husband. He might take it the wrong way though considering I bought him Obsession for his birthday. That said, he is super cute.

    Call me Shallow,

    Inky

    January 19, 2019 at 10:14 am in reply to: Please ! Need insight Bu #275599
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Nikki,

    We can’t all look like Fabio forever. People are gross! We get more gross as we age. Yes, even you! When we marry all we can do is love, cherish and support our homely, fat, sweaty, smelly partners for the rest of our lives. Sorry, but that’s what it is!

    You can very gently compliment him when you see him eating a salad and after taking a long walk with you, “Check out your abs! Is it my imagination or are you getting some definition?” Or “OMG, do you know how hot you look after you lift weights?” He could see right through this, he’s a smart guy, but if he knows toned guys turn you on, that might motivate him, who knows.

    Buy him Obsession for Men and snazzy clothes and night wear. That’s another clue. (Hey, anyone can smell good and be fashionable!)

    Even if you dump him and marry a Fabio, just remember, even Fabio gets bald, wrinkly and soft around the middle eventually.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 18, 2019 at 5:29 am in reply to: Am I friendzoned or is there a chance she might change her mind? #275313
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Richard,

    I wish you were friend-zoned before you had sex. Call me old fashioned, but why did she even add that in if it wasn’t going anywhere? It also gives you a false message that everything is going along just fine.

    I would drop the rope in terms of communicating with her. Let her change her own mind and make the awkward phone call if it ever comes.

    Next time, make sure you are in a relationship before sleeping over or any other such nonsense.

    Protect your Heart,

    Inky

    January 17, 2019 at 12:15 pm in reply to: Am I crazy, or did I make the right choice? #275193
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Sofioula,

    Congratulations for standing up for yourself! You made THE right decision!

    He might try to contact you again. Don’t be afraid to ghost him. Of course, I myself, The Inky, couldn’t resist this conversation:

    “I love you. What have you been up to?”

    “Sorry! I was going to return your calls, but just came back from a long walk with my friend Brian three days ago. Don’t worry. He’s just a friend.”

    “Can you come see me on these specific hours on Sunday morning?”

    “No, sorry, I’m meeting Brian for coffee then.”

    “Can you see me next Sunday on these specific hours?”

    “Sorry, Brian’s taking me to a party to meet his friends.”

    “On a Sunday morning?”

    “Well he likes to drive me so I don’t have to take three buses anywhere, so no, I can’t ask him to drive me on Sunday.”

    *He finally sees you at your place, only to find flowers from Brian*

    To Brian!

    Inky

     

    January 16, 2019 at 12:07 pm in reply to: Cutting ties with a toxic parent #274987
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Alexa,

    It sounds like your father has a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Let me tell you, for all the times that they make you feel bad for daring to breathe on their planet, what they fear most is DYING ALONE. He pushes you away because it’s all about him. But then he all but hires a private investigator to track you down.

    No wonder you are afraid of people. (He’s a person, even if he is a doozy!) If I were you I’d be cloistered in a room too, rocking!

    I know this is SO HARD. What I want you to do is not tell anyone in your family where you are living (the next time you move) or where you are (a home away from home??). He finds out through them!! You know he does! Get rid of email too! Maybe wait until your grandmother dies. But definitely take a ten year break from freaking EVERYONE. He is that bad.

    What I want you to do is look in the mirror and proclaim, “I EXIST!”

    I also want you to repeat what Simba said to Scar: “Everything you ever told me was a lie.” 

    Even though he is your father, every bad thing and experience he said to you and gave you was a lie. It helps if you believe he was demon possessed and that you will meet your REAL father in heaven when the demon leaves him. Medieval thinking, but it worked for me!

    Best,

    Inky

     

    January 15, 2019 at 6:06 am in reply to: Toxic SIL #274631
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Nicole,

    Let’s live in the present. The current reality is that you are his girlfriend. Until the ring is on your finger, you are nothing more and nothing less. As a girlfriend your job (if you choose to accept it) is to be emotionally supportive of your boyfriend. Meaning you don’t have to let his brother-in-law’s alcoholism affect you so much as to write on a forum about it.

    You seem to have jumped a theoretical five to ten years in the future. A future where you are happily married to him with kids and with the boundaries you need to set.

    I assure you that you would be able to say a firm, unapologetic “NO” to subjecting your future children around dysfunction.

    As for your boyfriend, he might WANT to be the godfather. Lord knows the child will need at least ONE normal, stable adult in his/her life.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 13, 2019 at 7:42 am in reply to: Is it unforgivable? Messy start ruining my loving relationship. #274075
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Dan,

    There are literally billions of other women on the planet. At least one of them haven’t slept with your brother, nor would sleep with your brother. You’ve been with her long enough. So she grew as a person. That’s great. She still slept with your brother.

    I think forgiving her will be loads easier at the very moment you break up with her and especially after you find someone new.

    Good Luck,

    Inky

    January 12, 2019 at 12:22 pm in reply to: Broken heart – regret breaking up #273999
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Katie,

    If you’re only 23 and have been with him since you were a teenager, then yes, it’s time for a break, at least. You do need to be on your own for a bit anyway. There is nothing like it! You don’t want to be saddled with a lackluster long distance relationship at this point in your life.

    Best,

    Inky

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Viewing 15 posts - 391 through 405 (of 2,508 total)
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