Hi Tilly,

On behalf of everyone on the internet, I hereby declare that you made the right decision. Please drop your Guilt in the Guilt Bin on the way out.

Reasons?

1. You are going to dental school. Any time anyone goes to grad school or med school, they need to focus 100% on that if they want a degree. You cannot take care of (even just emotionally) a man-child.

2. Him wanting to start a family ~ when you are not ready ~ and even when HE is not ready ~ is not fair to you, him, or any other being/s you bring into the world.

3. An ambitious person in their early twenties and a non-ambitious person in their late twenties is not a good mix ~ personality or age difference wise.

4. A mature person would NOT block you on all social media, etc. True love never dies. The Right Person (or any Right Person) would say, “Catch ya later when you’re a dentist and I’m debt free!”

Blessings,

Inky

Hi Jane,

This is what went on ~ when his friend proposed to his GF, Life got Real.

There is a clear delineation between the care-free single guy’s life and getting engaged/preparing for the future.

CLEARLY he WASN’T ready yet!! Dollars to donuts he himself was surprised (and embarrassed) by his own reaction! (He will never admit this to anyone). The fact that he would, YES, put your life in DANGER ~ he is NOT the man for you, or anyone. Most DH’s would lay down their life for their loved ones ~ he is NOT ready to be ANYONE’S husband.

And as he is finding out, most women WILL one day talk about/drop hints about where the relationship is going.

Do NOT apologize or contact him!

What a turkey!

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Hi James,

Where the heck are you going that guys hit on her so aggressively? Women usually do that, by the way. When I’m out with my DH, women will talk to him as if I’m not there!

Keep in mind that it COULD be a dominance play. Maybe the other guys are threatened by YOU!

I say change your environments. Also she should practice being stand-off-ish. Body blocking, wearing sunglasses, wearing a headset and monosyllabic responses would work. Or even a simple, “Do you mind?” or a terse “Excuse me!” as she continues her conversation with YOU as if THEY don’t exist!

Good Luck,

Inky

Hi janet,

I’m a big believer in doing things in order.

Imagine this scene: You are with your BF and there are no kids. AAAHHH, doesn’t that feel GOOD??

Now imagine this scene: You are raising your kids without any background drama of making some relationship “work”. You are raising them, spending quality time with them, living your life with them. Feel how HAPPY that is??

My advice is to raise all your kids. Give them the totality of your attention. Then when the last one is an adult (and when the guy’s kid/s are adults), be happy in a relationship.

I’m not saying not to have a love life now, but keep the love life LIGHT and FREE!

Best,

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Inky.
• This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Hi Secret,

They say being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then being hit by an airplane! LOL

It’s amazing how the “small stuff” can trip us up!!

OK, when you DIDN’T have drama in your life, how were you as a student? Focused and successful, I would imagine.

Hold onto the memory of your BEST day at grad school. That is who you truly are.

If you are afraid of labels, go to your professors and powers that be and say, “Thank you for being understanding during this time.” If they ask or pry (they won’t) say, “It doesn’t matter. It’s over now.” Then they will assume that it was a medical issue or something serious.

Next, become a Master at moving forward no matter WHAT else happens around you!

Blessings,

Inky

I go by the grades myself. Honestly, school is exhausting for them when they get home all they want to do is play or veg out.

I told my kids, “If you get C’s you’re seeing a tutor. If you get D’s you’re working with ME.” And trust me, no one wants to work with Mom!!

So what happened? One kid worked industriously and got A’s. The second kid was lazy as all get out and still got A’s (So I left the naturally brilliant one alone). The third kid has had problems that have nothing to do with intelligence or laziness. He has dyslexia and has always had to work harder/smarter/longer. Only now are we easing up on the tutor and he can now “Do it himself”.

Let school be school and home be home.

In the meantime, get a tutor. They will work harder for a stranger and if they know they won’t have one once they pull in at least B’s, you’ll see the B’s!

Good Luck!

Inky

Hi martin,

As a parent I would appreciate my child wanting to get my blessing ~ you are a good son! But as a citizen of the modern age you know I will tell you to marry the girl. Your parents will have to get over it. Unless you are very young and they support you financially, you really should follow your heart.

In laws have clashed with their new sons and daughters in law all over the world since the beginning of time. Even if they hand picked your bride for you they would still clash. I would marry her and have them meet her during or after the ceremony. The visit should be short and she should be very polite so they have nothing to complain about.

Then later, when you give them their first grandchild, they should be happy.

Blessings,

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Hi Hareesh,

As we get older, no one cares or even checks into our degree…

For example, I spent a semester in Regents College… which no longer exists!! And my mom went to Smith… and that no longer exists either!

You can even say, “I went to so-and-so college which isn’t there anymore”. Or, “I went to a small college in New Haven.” 😉

Meanwhile, get a cheap degree online and puff up your resume with licenses to do different things.

Go onto forums and find out what the thousands of other students are doing in lieu of this news.

Good Luck,

Inky