[quote quote=82440]I was madly in love with my boyfriend. We’d speak everyday and got on so well. Sexually things are fantastic. I felt so in love and I felt like I was falling more and more in love with him everyday. Everything seemed perfect. Then one evening I suddenly just thought “I’m not in love with him anymore.” That was 3 weeks ago now and the feeling still hasn’t come back. I’ve cried everyday and feel so depressed about the fact. I don’t want anyone else. He’s the most amazing person and so good for me. The day before I felt that way I’d even daydreamed about being engaged to the guy. I’ve fell out of love before but that was for genuine reasons. Breakups, not getting on, not actually being in love in the first place, etc. There’s no reasons here and I’m heartbroken. I don’t believe anyone else could be so good for me. I really want to keep trying because I really feel that we’re worth it but I’m so scared. Any advice?[/quote]

The feeling of love is itself not love. Love is the result of the effort of making love. Not sex but being kind and caring and true.  True love can only be known after a duration of time. You will only know it is love by the sacrifices you make to retain the quality of the relationship.  A relationship without any sacrifice is not a relationship. A relationship by definition is an ongoing sizing up between or consideration of differences.

At any rate, and relationship where one will not make any sacrifice to retain the good graces of the other cannot be said to amount to much. It it’s just over for you because you fell out of love then it must not have amounted to much in the beginning. That’s not a criticism. Perhaps you suddenly woke up and found out that the cliche of loving another wasn’t a vital necessity to you. Or maybe you changed. Or you have new goals.

most everybody goes through intense experiences as a youth. part of this is individuation. but part also is to set ones path.  it’s good to realize tat even if the most intense thing one ever encountered was someone stealing their gumballs a person would remember tat as a low moment for themselves, and seek a different future. that’s not a good example but basically it doesn’t matter exactly what one experiences as a youth, some of it will be the worst that one has even known and that will set ones path for the future. as one grows older things make less of an impression for high or low. the early highs and lows though will set ones feet on their path. it happens to everyone, and is a necessity. imagine never experiencing highs or lows and then trying to be motivated to follow a specific course. it would be mere drudgery.

plus, someone once said, nobody cares about happy people. it’s only the damaged who are interesting. i would further say that only the damaged have something of depth to contribute. happy people got nothing to contribute less it be dope

cooking with my parrots

PS. The pleasure that we get from sex strokes out catecholamines (dopamine, serotonin, norephinephrine, etc).  We can mistake the pleasure of another’s sexual company for something going on in our soul, when in reality it’s just something going on in our brain.  If one feels deficient in regular life but especially wonderful from another’s attention then that’s probably what it is. Finding a balance to ones own brain chemistry would be a healthier means to accomplish a sustainable lifestyle. Nothing is more unpredictable that another person and relying upon someone else to feel good is the sure way to not feel good. A couple great drugs that don’t fuck up ones sex life include buspirone and selegiline. Proper use of them can increase serotonin and dopamine levels without the lows of other drugs. Check them out. Self work first.

[quote quote=421765]Do you think life itself is divine? If so, how do you know? How would you define divinity?[/quote]

if it isn’t then nothing is

maybe it’s not the experiences but anxiety which accompanies them which is the problem?  if so then a simple adjustment would be to try buspirone which is a 5thA1 agonist, and can clear up anxiety quite simply.

on the other hand, wanting to follow a spiritual path and be free of engagements like family and job has always been a conundrum of seekers.  some must give everything up. others may find a half step which works to solve their paradox. a half step like transcendental meditation. one needn’t quit their life to do tm.

perhaps nowadays there’s a tibetan buddhist center nearby and they could recommend a useful mental tantra. tibetan buddhists have tantras for everything.

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sit tall

and relax