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Sapnap3ParticipantThank you everyone for wonderful advice and love. This site makes me smile and cry at the same time. Smile because u guys are so wonderful and ready to help. The humanity in all of you is amazing. All of you should be proud of being so wonderful. It makes me cry because I know the pain I am growing through and to imagine another humans feeling the same, breaks my heart.
Tera,
I have no answers for you there. I have experienced one big death in my life but that was when I was a teenager. I think when someone is dead…u know that there is nothing u can do or say that can bring them back. The hope of having them dies with them. Though painful, it is not comparable to the pain when someone breaks your heart or gives up on u. That becomes a mixture of resentment, pain of loss, hope of ever being happy again and broken trust. I never will wish bad upon anyone let alone on someone I love but the fact that he is still there…living and loving someone else …kills my heart.Sapnap3ParticipantMy email address is sapna84@hotmail.com. email me any time. I am here for you. I can’t imagine having to take care of 4 kids and going through this.
Sapnap3ParticipantTixxie
I can’t tell u when the way u are feeling will go away but I’ll tell u… don’t pretend. Don’t pretend to be happy when u are not cause u are not only lying to people who love u but also to yourself.
My love broke up with me via phone and blamed it all on me..,as I was the one fighting and I was the one telling him to open up…he opened up but not to me. I have been struggling but this site has awesome techniques many broken hearted people have posted. One is to write what u think of your ex. Like all the way u miss him. For example if you think he is the best looking man or the best listener. Just write it all down. Than really think about if those statements are really true. For example..is he really the best man in this world? He broke up with u via text! What real man does that? There are other ways. Just differentiate between your fantasies of him and who he really is. Read those words out loud to yourself. Write a journal. Talk to total strangers like me. If u want to vent to me. Go ahead. I am in the same boat as u.
It will not be easy but it will be …in time
Feel betterSapnap3ParticipantE,
I am going through something very similar to what you went through. Its been two weeks that my guy ended it and my relationship is almost replica of yours without the ring.
honestly, i am still struggling with it but i will tell you one thing, this experience has really taught me what true love means. I am learning to like/love myself now. I always went from relationships to relationships and gave in to the very aggressive men who were “in love” with me in days to our meeting. It really hurts to know that you were just a phase in their life but when you internalize those feelings, you will see that they were also just a phase in your life too. I have been reading a lot on this website and trying to meditate every morning to stop having dreams about him. I blamed myself for not ending my relationship when I knew it wasn’t going to work. on some level all of us know when its not working but we hang on because of our fear of being alone. I am trying to face my fears everyday and let myself be alone. I cry every morning and in the evening when i know its really over but I am trying to embrace that pain to give myself the respect I deserve to have tried as hard as i did.
please give yourself some credit for trying again and fighting for what you want like a warrior. I believe in love and i will always hang on to that believe but for now, i want to be with me. I want to love me.please keep reading inspirational books and blogs to help you through this process. Read about the women who spent all their lives with people they didn’t even know. Read about people depriving themselves of love all their lives and thank god you didn’t marry that man.
take care of yourself. you are not alone.
Sapna
Sapnap3ParticipantThank you both. I appreciate the loving and kind words.
SapnaSapnap3ParticipantThank you Matt. Ill check that book out this weekend from my library.
John, how long does this addiction last? I would think after a lot time and money invested, it would mean something. Am I wrong? Only thing that is clear to me is that my ex like long distance relationships. But I would you would get sick of living a lie after a bit. All the other men left after a few months.Sapnap3ParticipantLeina
I will saying something different than all of these wonderful…caring women. I am also going through what you are. This happened to me 7 days ago and knocked me down to my knees. I am one if the strongest people I know and I cry when I wake up…when I am alone and when I go to sleep. I do agree with everything the ladies have said above but about the closure part. I did contact him and every time he got colder and colder. I know he has someone else and he was letting me go in his mind whilst making travel plans with me (long distance relationship). It was so heart breaking. He gave me some of answers I wanted and they were so heartless. I asked him if he ever loved me and he said of course…. You are hot. Year and a half and all I am is a piece of ass? But I told him that I recognize my mistakes in this and I am using his words to move on. I wishes him well and said my goodbye. I am sure he loved that I was crying while saying all this but I didn’t give him the satisfaction of completely being broken. I was honest with him about how I am. Not gonna lie…wish he would come back but I know in my heart that that’s not love. Someone who truly loves u will never do that to you. You have to start loving yourself…I am just starting to …thanks to that worthless…lying …piece of shit.Sapnap3ParticipantPhil
I can only wish you all the luck in the world on the long distant thing. I just had my heart broken by a guy from Italy. A year and half…more than 10 times back and forth trips…promises and than a broken heart. I did have a lot warning signs that i ignored.he had a 5 year relationship with someone else long distance and it also ended badly. I thought I was special or the one but it turns out those were all empty words to keep me around till he finds what he wants.
This all said… I am a true believer in trying and not regretting to never had tried. Go for it if you think it will keep u wondering if you don’t. Don’t ever wonder…what if…put yourself out there and if its meant to be…it will happen. Not everyone is a heartless bastard!Sapnap3ParticipantThank you both for being so kind and replying to me. After this incident I thought humanity was dead but u reminded me that people can be caring. To Matt, I cant even think of things I use to enjoy. He has taken my joy away. I feel like I should go to italy and beg him to take me back but the ounce of self respect I have left wont let me.
To no one….I am sorry that u feel the way I do. I wouldnt wish it upon my worst enemy. The feeling that someone has snatched the life out of u is more painful than labor. I am taking this a day at a time. He really did make me feel like I am responsible and I put him on such pedestal that I believe him…like really. I need to stay strong and pull myself together. This blog is helping me a lot. I hope u never get to the miserable place I am in. I wish u all the love in this world. -
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