Hi Steve,

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems like you’re hanging on tightly to the past and have not let go – of EVERYTHING negative that happened during your marriage and after your divorce. Your wife has moved on and seems happy, based on what you’ve shared, and clearly you have not. You’re focus is on the past, and not the present. As long as you are focusing on the past, you cannot heal. I agree with all the other posters about forgiveness and moving on. You care too much about what happened in the past. Do what has been suggested in the replies here, and your life will change. Not enough venting will do the job, although it helps. It’s time to make a change (and it’s an inside job).

Cheers.

I wish you well in your interview! Being nervous and anxious prior to an interview is normal. I get like this every time I am going for an interview. It’s so bad that my whole body just shakes. But soon after I am in front of the interviewer, the anxiety slowly goes away because now I have to focus on the actual interview.

As far preparing for the interview, to help you remember examples or specific job experience, make sure you write them down, and do a mock interview in front of a mirror or a friend, and practice saying these examples of your experience out loud. Have your own copy of your resume while you are interviewing so you can look back at it, so it may help you trigger your memory. This always helps me. Also, when you are asked a question, and the answer does not come to you right away, you can pause for a second or two, and take time to come up with a good answer, rather than jumping into an answer quickly. Take a deep breath if you have to.

🙂

Then you probably need to separate yourself and heal. You can’t be just friends at this time.

I totally get it, Tyler. Not your fault for having expectations, you had good reasons for having them. I’ve been there with an ex. It hurts like hell, I know. At least, now you know she is not going to make good her word, so next time, you will be stronger and focus more on the process of moving on. Believe me, it gets better. I think if she had called you and told you that you are not meeting, then maybe that would just make you “hope” more.

Hi Steve,

It sounds good, and you are being honest with her. If I may make a suggestion, maybe you can leave out “I’m sure it’s not a big deal to you” because you probably don’t want to presume that, you don’t know how she would feel about that and that is why you are letting her know. Just a thought. Also consider reversing the paragraphs so that the first paragraph would be to express how you feel about her, thus staging/supporting what you’d like to say in the 2nd paragraph, which is to hopefully get her take on the where she or where you stand. I’m guessing it would easier for her to reply that way. Just my opinion.

Again, I wish you well with it. 🙂

Hi Steve,

I would suggest putting up your profile again. You are not committed in any way or exclusive with her yet. I don’t think you need to let her know that you are going to do that though. But the decision is up to you. But I am pretty sure that you are not in the wrong if you proceed with meeting others. Also, maybe consider asking her directly how you would like to proceed with her (ex, exclusivity, etc) so she can have an opportunity to give you a direct reply”. Asking her “where you stand” can be vague, but she is definitely not giving you what you want, and trying to buy time from you.

Hi Steve,

I think you just need to continue whatever you have been doing until you are ready to move on with one of the two women. If some time passes and nothing is progressing, might be time to pursue new ones.

It will all work out 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by Pooch.

Hi R91,

I don’t mean to question you when you say “I am not depressed…” but have you really considered the fact that you might be “mildly depressed”? I say that because I have felt the feeling you have described, and I was diagnosed to have really mild depression. When I am mildly depressed, I could function really well at my job and even socialize, but I would not feel that I was in the moment and not really enjoy what I was doing whether it is work or leisure/socializing. When I am not depressed at all, I feel happy and can really appreciate everything good about my life and really enjoy even the smallest of things or events.

My only suggestion to you is to explore the fact that you may have a little bit of depression.

I wish you well 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Pooch.