Well said Yalunda

Their is so much we can learn.  It interesting that many wisdom traditions the sacred texts are meant to be sung. The words experienced as poetry, transparent to what is being pointed to.

“Mythology may, in a real sense, be defined as other people’s religion. And religion may, in a sense, be understood as popular misunderstanding of mythology. ” ― Joseph Campbell, Thou Art That: Transforming Religious Metaphor

Best wishes in your studies

The opportunity for healing is always present, yet I’m at a loss of how the divisions were creating can be reconciled.

Compared to life in past centuries most of us our so much better of that a caparison becomes absurd.  Yet it seems, its never enough and we are wiling to ‘cut of our nose to spite our face’.

Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.…

I think we have forgotten that Democracy requires compromise, working together and sometimes sacrifice. We have forgotten  that no one in a Democracy should expect (demand) to have everything their way.  We forget that we have more in common then not.

Democracy is a relationship and like all relationships requires healthy boundaries. Anyone in relationships knows how difficult creating healthy boundaries can be as it requires a great deal of self knowledge, trust, tolerance, compassion, forgiveness, accountability, responsibility…. In a polarized tribal us/them society trust and self knowledge may be the first casualties.

I also don’t think we fully understand how the current commination technologies are impacting our ability to think and remember.  I often wonder if we are replacing mind with our smart phones. Why develop and work on thinking skills when we can just google it.

I hope your correct and a starting point of decency returns to our dialog  and actions. That we can recognize  ourselves in each other (namaste), seeing each others though the eyes of compassion.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Peter.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Peter.

The different ways in which people experience being loved and loving is interesting.

I agree that the experience of love involves emotions however I suspect LOVE is more more then an emotion which may be why it isn’t always ‘logical’. As seen in many of the responses a person can experience the emotions of love yet still ‘fall out of love’.

As the song goes ‘Whats love got to do with it, What’s love but a second-hand emotion? The suggestion that the emotion response of Love is a second hand experience to LOVE, not the experience all and in itself. The emotion pointing to Love, like the finger that points to the moon…  it is a error to mistake the finger for the moon… it may be a error to mistake a emotion as LOVE.

A finger pointing at the moon is not the moon. The finger is needed to know where to look for the moon, but if you mistake the finger for the moon itself, you will never know the real moon.

Even the five languages of love are only ‘fingers’ that point to LOVE  and not love itself. Its complicated as the language you speak, how you express your love to another, may be different then the language you hear, how you experience being love.  Thus we find ourselves left “gazing at our hands” wondering What’s love got to do with it when Love is all you need…

Love transparent to the transcendent? meaning I think one must learn to see through the words, labels and emotions to “see” what the words and labels can only point to?

Seeing though is not the same as seeing past. The finger does after all play a role in ‘seeing’ the moon.

“Yes, I am a prisoner of sorts, but my prison isn’t the house. It’s my own thoughts that lock me up!” ― V.C. Andrews

Hi Tristan

I used to watch a show ‘Dog Whisperer’. One of the lessons that stuck with me had to do with dogs that would get fixated on a object or some such. These are the dogs that will bark and bark at something that more often then not was no longer there, the person or squirrel having long moved on.  The surprising thing was that often all it took to break the dog out of this abusive state was a tap on its neck. The lesson? To break from a obsessive thoughts look away.

I know easier said then done?  perhaps, we work for that which no work is required…

I’ve know some people who pluck a elastic band around their wrists to distract themselves when they notice a intrusive thought taking them down the ‘rabbit hole’.  Often the intrusive thought becomes obsessive because of the ‘what if’ game we play with ourselves and always imagining the worst followed by more what if’s and more imagining… If you find yourself playing this game remind yourself that most of the things you worried about never happened and if they did you handled it. You have, if you look back, always handled things even the ones you didn’t enjoy. Sometimes well some times not as well but your still here and maybe even learned a few things…  Remind yourself that most of your fears turned out to be False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.)

Mindfulness is a good tool to have in ones back pocket. As part of the practice we remind ourselves we are not our thoughts, we have thoughts, we are not our feelings we have feelings, we are not our jobs, we have jobs, we are not our relationships, we have relationships… (We aren’t even our sexual preferences or gender…)

Imagine the Intrusive thoughts as being the weights you might use to exercise with to get stronger, the noticing of the Intrusive thoughts a opportunity to practice detaching your sense of self from them.

If you search Tiny Buddha Intrusive thoughts you will find quite a few blogs and posts on the issue that may be helpful to you. You are not alone

To further elaborate: Like attracts like but also repels and some of our “ghosts” – fears and hurts – picked up from our past will feed off each other and grow, developing into a negative codependency or  our “ghosts” will shine a light on each other, fade and move forward. In the process both are likely to happen

• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Peter.

Hi Emily
Thanks for sharing your story. It doesn’t sound ‘crazy’ to me at all.  I’m sorry for your loss.

I’m glad your reaching out and taking steps to deal with your experience. I wish I had some thing to say that would help you, all I have to offer is encouragement to keep taking those steps.

I am reminded of something I read in ‘Learning to Fall: The Blessings of an Imperfect Life’ by Philip Simmons, that has at time created space for me to breath

We are all—all of us—falling. We are all, now, this moment, in the midst of that descent, fallen from heights that may now seem only a dimly remembered dream, falling toward a depth we can only imagine, glimpsed beneath the water’s surface shimmer. And so let us pray that if we are falling from grace, dear G_d let us also fall with grace, to grace. If we are falling toward pain and weakness, let us also fall toward sweetness and strength. If we are falling toward death, let us also fall toward life. – http://www.learningtofall.com/excerpt.htm

Be kind to your self, I wish you well

Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the gentle night to you.
Moon and stars pour their healing light on you.
Deep peace from the Son of Peace to you,
Deep peace, deep peace..

Hi Richard

In my own confrontation with the problem of certainty I discovered more often then not it involved the ego desire to control life.

I learned that there is a difference between being certain and acting with certainty and that we often confuse the two. What I mean is that we can act confidently even in the face of not knowing, and even find pleasure in that.   To act confidently in the face of no knowing how thing will turn out. This is not a arrogant confidence, but a humble confidence, eyes open and flexible. A adaptable confidence in the face of uncertainty.

You are ‘still here’, and this is a indication that you have handled everything that has happened to you, much of which I suspect was unexpected, some of which un-wanted and mourned, and some perhaps where you were pleasantly surprised. Thus, is life. If history is the best predictor of the future, you will continue to handle the uncertainty that is life. You may even find certainty overrated. All things in balance.  – fear is to courage as doubt/uncertainty is to faith… is it a matter of trust? In yourself, in others, in life, in love…?

The Life of Pi has interesting things to say about Doubt and uncertainty.

“Doubt is useful for a while. We must all pass through the garden of Gethsemane. If Christ played with doubt, so must we. If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the Cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.. If you live in doubt you won’t get anywhere because you don’t move in any direction”

So…

“We must put our confidence in truth.  But that does not mean sitting back and waiting for the truth (certainty) to shine from above, as one might sit back and wait for the day to break. It means following with devoted obedience the truth we have seen as true, with the entire confidence that G_d (Life) will correct, clear, and redirect our vision, to the perception of a freer and deeper truth.

Go with the truth you have, and let it carry you into collision with the life, and then you will learn something.” And maybe even find yourself happy.

I get it Dee. The fear of losing what you have, those moments of attention, when you imagine that maybe this time it will last…
I understand loneliness, the worst is feeling alone even when your with those you care about.

I don’t normally respond to relationship posts. I will say this. relationships are a crucible in which the self is revealed. We well confront the best and worse of ourselves.  Try not to attach your sense of self to what is revealed, the purpose is to learn and grow. If their is no growth the experience of love becomes tainted, stuck and LOVE will push back.