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Why I Felt Broken and Unworthy of Love and What Changed Everything

“How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ~Paulo Coelho

He used to tell me no one else would love me because I’m damaged goods.

And I believed him.

Because I received messages for most of my life that there was something wrong with me.

I wasn’t good enough. Too sensitive. Too weak. Too sickly. Too different.

I realize now those messages were passed on to me by concerned parents who saw in me parts of themselves they didn’t fully accept.

And those messages were from parents whose own parents had used criticism …

Start Your Day Right with the Magic Morning Mindset

“What nine months of attention does for an embryo forty early mornings alone will do for your gradually growing wholeness.” ~Rumi

We would likely all agree that manicures, baths, and cozy movie nights on the couch all fall under the umbrella of self-care. But I believe that it’s time—actually, beyond time—to go deeper and re-claim what self-care truly means. It’s also time to see self-care as imperative, and to move it from the lonely bottom of our to-do list and plant it firmly at the very top.

For me, self-care has become my fuel and my fire. When I claim …

Family Members Who Are Not Good for Your Mental Health

No One Is Coming to Save You

How I’ve Eased My Anxiety by Being More Present: 4 Practices to Try

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” ~Oprah Winfrey

In 2012, during my community college years, I began to experience mild anxiety.

I assume it was the stress and fear that came with maintaining a good GPA in hope of transferring to a well-known university, alongside deciding what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Or perhaps it was because of the time I knew I’d wasted slacking in high school to fit in with what I was surrounded by and to …

Issues That Aren’t Yours to Solve

How to Increase Your Sense of Control and Boost Your Resilience

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ~Maya Angelou

When I look back, I am amazed at how differently I dealt with adversity the first few decades of my life.

Growing up in a stressful home primed me to experience life with caution. Whether it was being afraid of physical harm, loneliness, or failure, I’ve lived my life with an exaggerated fight-flight response to everything. Adversity …

3 Questions Every People-Pleaser Should Ask Before Making a Decision

“The one thing you learn is when you can step out of your comfort zone and be uncomfortable, you see what you’re made of and who you are.” ~Sue Bird

I am a recovering people-pleaser.

I grew up in a hardworking, blue-collar house, nestled in a humble, rural, blue-collar town. I was instructed, both consciously and unconsciously, on how to fit in and play my part.

My entire decision-making process revolved around what I was supposed to do, how my actions made others feel, and the impact I would have on the status-quo. I became a teacher because that …

The Only People I Need in My Life

People Don’t Want to Be Talked Out of Their Feelings

Self-Care Isn’t Just…

When Life Forces Your Hand, Embrace the New Chapter

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” ~Seneca

Like most people, I’ve tried to control many aspects of my life, and this hasn’t always worked in my favor. Just when I thought I had it all under control, life has inconveniently shown me many, many times that I was getting a little too cocky.

You name it, I’ve tried to control it—from my schedule and time (hello, Type A personality) to forgoing random opportunities because my mind was made up on going a certain direction. I even tried calorie counting at the height of my exercising routine because …

You Are Beautiful, Strong, and Brave

The Paradox of Less is More (And How It Will Improve Your Life)

“Don’t use a lot where a little will do.” ~Proverb

One of the most common paradoxical statements we hear is “less is more.”

I, like many others, understand what that means in the context of personal style, where it is commonly used.

I can appreciate, for example, that when we overdress, we are often taking away from the beauty of the outfit or the look and detracting attention from each valuable detail or accessory.

But recently I discovered that the paradox of “less is more” has many other applications.

When I started questioning whether I could apply this simple philosophy

9 New Spirituality & Wellness Books You Won’t Want to Miss

Hi friends! I’m sure many of you are already familiar with Sounds True. They offer books and programs to help us all live more genuine, loving, meaningful lives.

Through the years I’ve found some fantastic resources for personal growth and healing through their site, so I was happy to oblige when they asked me to introduce you all to nine new Sounds True authors in the spirituality and wellness space.

Justin Michael Williams, Sah D’Simone, Faith Hunter, and LaRayia Gaston bring meditation, music, dancing, and yoga to a broad audience, with a shared mission to reach underserved BIPOC and LGBTIQIA+ …

It’s Okay to Feel Scared: How to Stand Up to Fear by Standing Down

“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” ~Mandy Hale

When it comes to plane travel, I frequently quip: “I’m not a nervous flier, but my bladder is.”

In a way, this is true. Aside from brief freak-out moments when there’s a patch of turbulence or when a flash from my catalog of gruesome “what-if” scenarios forces its way into my mind’s eye, I remain blissfully disconnected from my fear. Meanwhile, my bladder takes the brunt of it, with hourly pit-stops to the lavatory alongside a persistent, dull ache.

While this is …

Trust Actions

Why I Gave Myself Permission to Suck at New Things

“Never be afraid to try new things and make some mistakes. It’s all part of life and learning.” ~Unknown

A few months ago, I was warming up for a dance class. It was a beginners’ class, but the instructor was one of those people who have been dancing all their life, so movement came easy to her. This was the ninth week of a ten-week term, and we’d been working on a choreography for a while now.

Then, the reception girl came in with a new student. She introduced the new girl to the instructor. “Hey B. This is Nat. …

Breaking the Toxic Cycle: My Family Dysfunction Stops with Me

TRIGGER WARNING: This post references physical abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching 

I will never forget, when I was twelve years old, I went to sit on my father’s lap and he told me, “No! You’re too heavy to sit on my lap!” What does an adolescent girl do with a comment …

Choose Yourself