Compassion Is Often Birthed in the Valley of Despair
5 Life Lessons from a Brain Tumor That Could Have Killed Me
“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender.” ~Danielle Orner
I was slumped against a wall at Oxford Circus Station early one Sunday evening when an irritated male voice suddenly barked, “MOVE!”
Moments beforehand, I had lost my vision.
Without conscious thought, I muttered, “RUDE!” and staggered off without clearly seeing where I was going.
It was only months later, on retracing my steps at Oxford Circus, that I realized I’d been blocking his view of some street art.
I’d allowed a guy to bully me …
How I Learned to Love My Body Instead of Hating Her
“Your body does not need to be fixed, because your body is not a problem. Your body is a person.” ~Jamie Lee Finch
I was thirty years old when I realized that I was completely dissociated from my body.
I grew up in the height of the purity culture movement in American Evangelicalism. Purity culture was based on one primary concept: abstain from sex until marriage. But the messaging went further than this.
I sat next to my peers in youth group while the male pastor stood on stage and told us young women to always cover our bodies. For …
Why Codependents Don’t Trust Themselves to Make Decisions and How to Start
“Slow, soulful living is all about coming back to your truth, the only guidance you’ll ever need. When you rush, you have the tendency to follow others. When you bring in mindfulness, you have the power to align with yourself.” ~Kris Franken
Codependency previously created a lot of pain and agony in my life. One of the ways it manifested was in my inability to trust myself. I would overthink decisions to death, fearful that I would choose the “wrong one” or upset someone if they didn’t agree or were disappointed by my choice.
I was terrified of “making a …
Freedom Is the Space Between Each Judgmental or Righteous Thought
“It is inner stillness that will save and transform the world.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Life is hard. Impenetrable at times. How can we use our spirituality to navigate through the density of life?
That question inspired this piece of writing. And my navigation tool is almost effortless; I feel compelled to share it.
When my mind is churning and burning with thoughts and fears and worries, I take myself off to a quiet place, get still, and watch my mind. I wait for the tiny gap between each thought. Bingo.
That space, that little gap, is freedom in its truest, purest …
Surrendering Isn’t Giving Up: Why We Need to Accept What’s Happened
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” ~Nathaniel Branden
I remember the last time I saw him before my world crumbled. I held up my hand with the ASL sign for “I love you” through the window to him as he mouthed the words back and got in his car to leave for work. I found out an hour later that he—my fiancé—had begun cheating on me a month before he had proposed.
He never fought for me. Even during the course of our relationship, when he would run away due to his insecurities, I …
Sometimes When Things Are Falling Apart…
One of the colorable quote pages from my new Inner Strength Journal (colored by yours truly)!
After the Assault: What I Now Know About Repressed Trauma
TRIGGER WARNING: This article details an account of sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.
The small park down the street from my childhood home: friends and I spent many evenings there as teenagers. We’d watch movies on each other’s MP3 players and eat from a bag of microwave popcorn while owls hooted from the trees above.
Twigs lightly poked against our backs. Fallen leaves graced skin. Crickets hummed in the darkness. The stars shone bright through the branches of the redwoods.
Eight years later at a park in Montevideo, Uruguay, darkness again surrounded me. Leaves and twigs …
Why My Boyfriend and I Play Like Kids and Are Happier for It
“Play is the foundation of learning, creativity, self-expression, and constructive problem-solving. It’s how children wrestle with life to make it meaningful.” ~Susan Linn, Psychiatrist
We met at a job interview for a summer camp. At the time, I was twenty-two years old and pursuing a bachelor’s degree in English literature and psychology at UBC. On the other hand, H was attending college in the hopes of one day becoming a high school history teacher. He also “liked to promote and support the development of children.”
During our first date, we grabbed coffee and spent some time at Indigo …
Why Judging People Is Really About You (Not Them)
“It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow.” ~Doe Zantamata
“Why doesn’t he say something?”
I was sitting at the dinner table with my partner and friends. Everyone was interacting and talking to each other, except my partner. He was just sitting there quietly. I had to admit, this situation made me very uncomfortable.
Why was he so quiet? We had been dating for over six months and normally, when it was just …
You Can Be the Cycle Breaker: 9 Ways to Heal After Childhood Trauma
“It’s up to us to break generational curses. When they say, ‘It runs in the family,’ you tell them, ‘This is where it runs out.’” ~Unknown
I never even knew what I experienced was trauma. It was my normal. I was born into a world where I had to walk on eggshells, always on high alert for danger.
I held my breath and always did my best to be good and to not cause an eruption of my dad’s temper. He literally controlled my every move through fear. I agreed to anything just to feel safe and to please him.…
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