Life Doesn’t Follow a Set Timeline
Why Judging People Hurt Me and 5 Things That Helped Me Stop
“It’s very easy to judge. It’s much more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods.” ~Doe Zantamata
In the past, judgments kept me safe. They reassured me that I had worth. That I was right. That I was good. I believed I knew the “right” way to live.
I felt I could clearly see the truth of matters. I didn’t understand why others weren’t always able to grasp the truth that I saw. However, the real truth was that my inner world was full of turmoil.
Since adolescence, …
No, You Don’t Have to Work Harder: The Truth About Finding Success
“Ease is the sign of grace in everything.” ~Marty Rubin
Work harder. Never give up. Believe in yourself. Get out of bed earlier. Shout self-affirmations in the mirror. Adapt the habits of “highly successful” people…
How many times have we heard those things? In award speeches, articles, self-help books… All those who have made it seem to imply this: If you just work hard enough, long enough and believe in yourself, you will be successful.
But, like…will you though?
I can’t disagree entirely. It’s not that these things don’t contribute to success. They can. But they get way more …
How One Fleeting Mindful Minute Completely Changed My Life
“Don’t believe everything you think.” ~Unknown
I am a self-confessed overthinker. I could spend hours thinking and going down the rabbit hole in my mind trying to find answers to all sorts of situations.
About ten years ago, I struggled with burnout. I was a nurse for about twenty-two years. All I knew was nursing, and I was defined by it. As they say, “A nurse is always a nurse.”
This makes leaving nursing something hard to do, even when it’s unhealthy.
I’ve always worked in high-stress areas like intensive care and trauma emergency rooms, but burnout made it …
How My Dad’s Advice to Let Someone Else Shine Created My Fear of Success
“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” ~Robert Tew
Everyone has fears. It is not an emotion that is only for a chosen few. One’s fear may seem irrational to the outside world, but I guarantee to that person it is debilitating. So much so, that it shapes their perspective and how they see the world. My fear is of success.
I know what you’re thinking. “That doesn’t make sense at all. Who doesn’t want to be successful?” Well, let me explain what I mean.
You see, I am an …
5 Ways to Be Productive with Chronic Illness: How I Built a Business from Bed
“The master leads by weakening their ambition and toughening their resolve.” ~Tao Te Ching
How much of productivity advice is ableist? Sure, there are lots of good ideas and concepts in there, but most of it is healthy-body-focused.
Advice like:
“Be sure to exercise in the morning.”
“Get up early before anyone else.”
“Keep a consistent morning routine of meditation, journaling.”
“Set aside fixed times in the day to do deep work.”
“Get dressed and do your hair even if you work from home.”
“Set goals and stick to them.”
“Work harder than anyone else around you.”
I have built …
Why We Don’t See Other People Clearly and How to Start
“If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance, but I’d be dancing with myself.” ~Billy idol
Spending long periods of time alone—as I’ve done while traveling solo over the past year—is an eye-opening experience.
Without the distractions of my normal routine and relationships, I’ve been able to take a good look around inside my very own head. And the more I do this, the more I realize that what I experience as my world is just a reflection of my own psyche. In reality, I’m dancing with myself all the time.
This crucial awareness is usually hidden …
How Overthinking Ruined my Relationships and How I Overcame It
“Overthinking ruins you. It ruins the situation. And it twists things around. It makes you worry. Plus, it just makes everything worse than it actually is.” ~Karen Salmansohn
I grew up with parents who believed a kid shouldn’t have friends and should be indoors always. Because of that, I never had real friends in my childhood, except those I met in school and church.
Since my early teenage years, loneliness has been my forte, and I have learned to pay too much attention to details. When people talk, I look at them, how they react, their facial expressions, etc. I …
How Writing Letters to My Chronic Pain Helps Me Find Relief
Dear pain-in-my-feet:
I’m sorry we ever met. Remind me where I made your acquaintance? Oh, yes—on my February trip to Death Valley, where I assumed long days of hiking had caused a rock bruise. Instead of healing, you got worse and jumped to the other foot, too.
Thanks for the reminder. It helps. Because I was there in the Valley to grieve my dead sweetheart, Tony, with rituals and tears and a personal funeral. I hate being forced to walk this earth without him. So I see you now for what you really are—grief and longing and fury that my …
A Simple, Super Effective Shortcut to Loving and Respecting Yourself
“Love is loving things that sometimes you don’t like.” ~Ajahn Brahm
You’ve probably heard the saying “You can’t find love until you learn to love yourself.” What this really means is that when you love yourself, you’re also fully able to accept another’s love for you because you know that you deserve it.
Unfortunately, some people misunderstand this saying to mean that you’re basically not worthy of love unless you love yourself. And that’s a load of toxic rubbish.
If it were true, any number of people with trauma or certain mental illnesses would never stand a chance of finding …
Become a Certified Meditation Coach with Sura Flow (12-Week Online Program)
Over the last thirteen years of running this site, I’ve read comments and emails from thousands of people with varied wants and struggles, but it seems to me it all boils down to the following two things:
We all want to feel good and avoid feeling bad, and we all need to connect with other people on a meaningful level and feel that we make a difference.
I can think of no better way to accomplish these goals than to meditate regularly and share the gift of meditation with others.
Whether you practice cross-legged or through a movement practice, like …
Why Belonging Is So Difficult for Survivors of Domestic Abuse
“Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ~Brené Brown
Sitting there watching The Greatest Showman, with tears pouring down my face, I asked myself why does this song, in fact this whole film, make me cry so much? Why does it evoke so much emotion in me?
“I am brave,
I am bruised,
I am who I’m meant to be.
This is ME.”
“Look out cos here I come,
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum,
I’m not scared to be seen,
I make no apologies.
This is ME.”
I …
Why We’re Afraid of Real Connection and Why We Need Deeper Conversations Now
“It’s one of the great paradoxes of the human condition—we ask some variation of the question ‘How are you feeling?’ over and over, which would lead one to assume that we attach some importance to it. And yet we never expect or desire—or provide—an honest answer.” ~Mark Brackett, Ph.D., Permission to Feel
I used to feel so satisfied if I had made them cry.
Not in a twisted, sadistic way.
I just knew once things went quiet and they felt safe, we could peel back enough layers, the tears would flow, and we could finally get to the truth. The …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 