Congratulations on Breaking Out of That Dysfunctional Pattern
Forbidden Emotions: The Feelings We Suppress and Why They’re Not Bad
“The truth is that there is no such thing as a negative emotion. Emotions only become ‘bad’ and have a negative effect on us when they are suppressed, denied, or unexpressed.” ~Colin Tipping
Emotions are constantly and powerfully guiding our lives, even when we are not aware of them, even when we do not feel them or are convinced that we can exclude them from our experiences.
Emotions give us precious, sometimes indispensable information about what is best for us, about the best choices we can make, about how to behave. They give us information that we often do not …
Why I Couldn’t Find Love and What Helped Me (That Might Help You Too)
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start from where you are and change the end.” ~C.S. Lewis
It was a dark January day in 2008 when my auntie called with the news “He did it.”
I felt so confused. “Did he try? Or did he succeed?” I asked as my body moved into shock.
“He succeeded,” she said. And in that moment my whole life changed.
This was a moment I often wished for—my dad was gone.
Dad had taken his life on January 8th, 2008, two days after my twenty-sixth birthday. He …
The Profound Joy That’s Possible on the Other Side of Addiction
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ~Rumi
As I stood on the doorstep of that rehab facility, I felt completely empty except for the overwhelming weight of anxiety and shame. In that moment, I wondered what all the normal people were doing today. How did they cope? And how was it that I couldn’t hack life and that things had spiraled so far down?
It’s hard to admit you have a problem. To be honest with yourself when you’ve numbed everything out for so long seems ridiculous. To …
The Vault in Our Hearts: How I’m Learning to Fill It with My Own Love
“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be looking for someone else to fill the void inside you, but no one will ever be able to do it.” ~Lori Deschene
This year I have fallen in and out of love. Not once, not twice, but three times.
Firstly, I fell deeply into being held, being heard, and being supported. For the first time, in a long time, I understood what it meant to be loved.
Secondly, I flew quickly into a spontaneous soul, who lit up my world and reminded me who I was.
Thirdly, I surrendered earth-shatteringly into …
Honoring Lost Loved Ones: How I Carry My Son’s Memory into the Future
“Keep all special thoughts and memories for lifetimes to come. Share these keepsakes with others to inspire hope and build from the past, which can bridge to the future.” ~Mattie Stepanek
I stood over a pile of my son’s t-shirts, scissors in hand, my breath ragged. I reached for a plain, dark blue one that I didn’t remember Brendan ever wearing. My fingers trembled. The first cut would be the hardest.
I’d packed away his shirts eight years ago, within weeks after he’d died. He was only fifteen—an unbearable loss. I’d spent days washing and drying and folding his shirts …
Why I Relied on My Ego to Survive but Now Need My Soul to Thrive
“Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.” ~ Unknown
Since childhood I have been a high achiever. As a kid I was a perfectionist, driven to succeed, to be the best at what I did. I wanted to do well so that both my parents would be proud of me and love me, especially after they divorced.
At school and college I worked hard to get straight A’s. Anything less seemed like a failure to me. I was always top of my class, and I won awards. However, …
The Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself If You Want to Be More Authentic
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown
Have you ever just wanted to relax, let go, and let yourself be?
Why is this so challenging for so many? Why don’t we just live naturally and allow our authenticity to be felt, expressed, and seen?
Well, when many of us were little, being authentic was not okay, so we focused on trying to do things the “right way” according to what others had to say, because our survival was at stake. The more we did …
If You Think You Can’t Be Happy Until All Your Burdens Are Gone
“As rain falls equally on the just and the unjust, do not burden your heart with judgments but rain your kindness equally on all.” ~Buddha
Our burdens come in many forms. They are our relationships, our responsibilities, and our pasts that haunt us from beneath our consciousness. They weigh us down and prevent us from experiencing life’s true joy.
Some people have to care for a sick family member most of their life. Some women give birth to stillborn babies. Some soldiers get their legs blown off while deployed.
My story is unextraordinary: I’m a white, middle-class woman. My life …
How Beating Cancer Helped Me Stop Being a People-Pleaser
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chadron
The hardest part of hearing the words, “I’m sorry, but you have cancer” at the age of thirty was knowing I had to tell my mother and my husband.
Why?
Not because I was afraid of their reaction, although it would be especially heightened since my father had died of cancer three years prior, but because I was going to take on a role I had never experienced before: a patient.
For me, being a patient equaled being dependent. Someone who was needy and …
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