May Your Week Be Filled With…
How I Recognized My Fear of Failure and How I’m Mindfully Overcoming It
“The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source. Instead of trying to escape from our fear, we can invite it up to our awareness and look at it clearly and deeply.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
My daughter began taking tumbling classes a week before her eighth birthday. She had been dancing since the age of three, and those classes included instructions for cartwheels and roundoffs. The harder stuff, like the back walkover, required tumbling or gymnastics classes, and she wanted the chance to be able to show …
Put Down Your Phone: Why Presence Is the Best Gift You’ll Ever Give
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
The only thing worse than not listening to someone is pretending to listen.
Giving the vague murmur of agreement, or a quick nod to communicate “Yes, I’m listening, totally,” when really, we’re not.
I remember vividly a dinner I had with friends about four years ago. I’d been backpacking in New Zealand for twelve months and had just returned to the UK. Traveling in the car to my friend’s house, I imagined how the night …
Why I Blamed Myself for My Ex’s Suicide (and Why It’s Not My Fault)
“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future.” ~Umar Ibn Al Khattab
I don’t remember the exact day the message came through. It was from my son, Julian, and he needed to talk to me. It sounded pretty serious. He never really needs to talk to me.
His father was found dead earlier that week. He’d hung himself.
While this news hardly affected Julian at all, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I cried.
Our Marriage
We met in a taxi thirty-three years ago. He was the driver, …
How I Overcame My Chronic Digestive Issues by Learning to Breathe Right
“If you know the art of deep breathing, you have the strength, wisdom and courage of ten tigers.” ~Chinese adage
Let me share a little secret: I started healing from decades of debilitating chronic digestive issues when I stopped looking for the next best solution and trying to heal. Instead, I did nothing. And I took a breath.
Let’s start at the beginning. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease (an irritable bowel disease) at the age of eighteen, which would have marked the beginning of my oh-so-anticipated adult life, but instead, I thought my life was over.
I had every …
Please Don’t Fix Me: What True Empathy Is (And Isn’t)
“No one mentioned until I was in late middle age that—horribly!—my good, helpful ideas for other grown-ups were not helpful. That my help was in fact sometimes toxic. That people needed to defend themselves from my passionate belief that I had good ideas for other people’s lives. I did not know that help is the sunny side of control.” ~Anne Lamott
I’m a well-meaning empath.
If you share your problems with me, I’ll quickly make them my own. I’ll listen intently, feel deeply, and want to help. I’ll give you advice and solutions you didn’t ask for, then be annoyed …
Are You Highly Emotionally Reactive? You May Be Stuck in Survival Mode
“Survival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It is not meant to be how you live.” ~Michele Rosenthal
Childhood is the most cherished time for many. However, nobody gets to adulthood unscathed. We all go through incidents with our friends, family, and at school or otherwise that leave us feeling emotionally bruised or scarred.
Growing up in a household where my parents were busy raising three kids and working hard to better their economic status, somewhere along the way I felt neglected. Not that they did anything intentionally, but I was often …
Making Big Decisions: How to Discern the Whispers of Your Soul
“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti
“I can’t believe they are taking her side over mine. I gave this job so many years, and she decides to walk in and mess it all up for me,” I said to my husband.
A few years back, when I was working full time at my corporate job, I got into a disagreement with a team member. It spiraled out of control to the point where my boss then had to have a sit-down with us. I was so humiliated and angry that he could not see my side.
They …
How Perfectionism and Anxiety Made Me Sick and What I Wish I Knew Sooner
“Perfectionism is the exhausting state of pretending to know it all and have it all together, all the time. I’d rather be a happy mess than an anxious stress case who’s always trying to hide my flaws and mistakes.” ~Lori Deschene
“That’s not how you do it!” I slammed the door as I headed outside, making sure my husband understood what an idiot he was. He’d made the appalling mistake of roasting potatoes for Thanksgiving instead of making stuffing.
He was cooking while I studied, trying to make sure I got a semblance of a holiday. We lived away from …
HumanKind: A Feel-Good Book That Can Lift Your Spirits & Change the World
We’re approaching that time again, “the most wonderful time of the year,” they say.
Some love the holidays because they appreciate the comfort of tradition—the regalia, the reunions, the rituals.
Others delight in the nostalgia of holidays past, when all was calm and all was bright, even if just for a day.
As for me, I love the spirit of giving and the way the season often brings out the best in people.
It’s the seat given to someone with an armful of bags, the donation offered to someone with a head full of worries, or forgiveness extended to someone …
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