Your Anger Is a Part of You That Loves You
Why I Attracted One-Sided Relationships and Gave More Than I Got
“I was once afraid of people saying, ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say, ‘This is who I am.’” ~Oprah Winfrey
In May of this year, I decided to take a personal development course, hoping to resolve some of my limiting beliefs and raise my confidence to pursue my professional goals.
The course turned out to be far different from what I thought it would be, and it blew my mind. In just three days, I transformed the way I functioned in most of my relationships.
A week before the course, I …
All the Ways I Tried to Numb My Loneliness and What Actually Helped
“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings.” ~Mandy Hale
I feel so alone right now. Like, crawling out of my skin, I’ll do anything I can do to not feel this way alone.
I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Thank goodness I have tools to take care of myself. Let me explain.
My earliest childhood memory is my mother’s empty bed. The sheets are white, untucked, and messy. The duvet cover is loose and hanging halfway on the floor. The room is quiet, there’s no sign of mom, and I …
How I Lighten My Mood by Making a Bargain with the Universe
“Pain is what the world does to you; suffering is what you do yourself.” ~Gautama Buddha
I don’t expect things to be a steady state of bliss.
In fact, I agree with the Buddha that suffering is pretty much part of the human condition. Our expectations just get in the way of our experiences. I’m talking about your garden-variety suffering here, not the kind that comes with traumatic events that take you out at the knees or devastating clinical depression.
I see the now-and-then emergence of lethargy or melancholy as part of the whole emotional spectrum. And, like stepping in …
The Truth About Mr. S.: The Sexual Predator from My High School Band
TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with accounts of sexual harassment and assault and may be triggering to some people.
“There can be a deep loneliness that comes from not having a family that has your back. I hope you can find supportive people who show up for you.” ~Laura Mohai
I feel and have felt extreme sadness, anger, isolation, and fear over several sexual harassments and assaults in my life.
The first time I was sexually assaulted I was seven. I was at a friend’s birthday pool party. My friend’s dad put his hand down my swimsuit and grabbed my …
How to Be a Lot Happier: A Simple Solution
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~Leonardo da Vinci
There’s a funny thing with us humans.
We spend our lives trying desperately to find happiness, and yet we don’t even know what it is. We can’t explain, describe, or define it. We just know that we want it because it’ll make everything peachy. Time and time again, though, studies have shown that our never-ending quest for happiness is quite often the very thing that makes us miserable.
Trying to find happiness is an exercise in futility. This is a truth I did not easily come to realize. It took a …
10 Signs You’re in a Toxic, Unhealthy Relationship and How to Help Yourself
“Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly…the lover alone possesses his gift of love.” ~Toni Morrison
Not all relationships are created equal. Some rage in like a storm and leave you far weaker than you were before. As you try to process the wreck that is now your reality, you wonder, how did I end up here?
I found myself in a toxic and addicting relationship in my mid-late twenties. Now that some time has passed and allowed for reflection, I want to pass on some signs …
How Trauma Can Cause Mental Illness (It’s Not Just a Chemical Imbalance)
“What seems to be clear is that we humans are an accumulation of our traumatic experiences, that each trauma contributes to our biology, and that this biology determines, to some extent, how we respond to further traumatic events as they emerge in our lives.” ~Shaili Jain
The stigma of mental health is decreasing. That’s wonderful, but the way we’re doing it is wrong and damaging. We are ignoring the trauma that is so prevalent and pervasive in our society.
Think about how many times you’ve read something equating mental illness to cancer or some other disease. People say that taking …
How My Anger Helped Me Learn to Speak Up About My Needs
“If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings of separation that sustain the trance of unworthiness.” ~Tara Brach
This morning I received a WhatsApp message, and I found myself immediately blown into a state of fury. On the surface the message didn’t seem inflammatory or dramatic; it was a simple request from another parent asking me to do something that wasn’t convenient for me. On the surface it didn’t seem like this message warranted such …
How to Wake Up Smiling: 5 Daily Habits That Made Me a More Positive Person
“You create your future based on your energy in the present.” ~Unknown
I’m usually a pretty happy person, but about a year ago—perhaps due to a lack of social connections and laughter—I experienced a few dark months. During those months, I spent most of my waking hours (and probably nights as well) consumed with negative thoughts.
I woke up feeling angry in the morning, continued having negative thoughts most of the day, and went to bed in that same state of mind.
Luckily, I didn’t have many opportunities to spread my negativity to others because we were in confinement.
On …
15 Things You Can’t Control and What You Can Control Instead (Free Printable!)
This post is for anyone who stresses themselves out trying to control life. Which I’m guessing means it’s for most people.
It’s easy to convince ourselves we have power over things we don’t—as if we can force people and situations to go our way simply by trying or pushing harder.
The world would feel a lot safer if this were true. If people did what we thought was best, situations worked out as we believed they should, and nothing challenging or painful ever caught us off guard.
But some things are simply uncontrollable, and it’s exhausting and futile to obsess …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 