If You Could Erase All the Mistakes of Your Past
When You Feel Bad About Feeling Sad and Anxious
“You don’t have to be brave all of the time. You are not damaged or defeated. Have patience. Give yourself permission to grieve, to cry, and to heal. Allow a bit of compassion, you’re doing the best you can. We all are.” ~Unknown
Growing up, I received the message that everything had to look a certain way. It was only okay to feel positive emotions, and any expression of unruly emotions was totally unacceptable.
It wasn’t that anyone directly said this to me. I wasn’t given a written set of rules to follow. I wasn’t given any speeches or trainings …
How to Love a Lying, Cheating Heart
Brett’s name flits onto my screen with an incoming email.
“Call you right back,” I say, hanging up on a friend.
Last time I talked to Brett, the Obama family lived in the White House. Last time I thought of him? Last year, as Melania took her third crack at presidential Christmas décor, and I failed to muster enough spirit to fetch our pre-lit tree from the garage.
Brett’s message came in through the contact form on my website. He invited me to meet for coffee; full respect if I decline.
Four years ago, it was me who reached out …
Deconstructing Shame: How to Break Free from Your Past
“We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can’t use shame to change ourselves or others.” ~Brené Brown
“I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“I’ll never be good enough.”
“I’m not worthy of love.”
Sound familiar?
I hear phrases like this all the time in my work helping women walk through divorce. I heard it for years while I was working in women’s ministry. And it echoes back to me from my own experience. I’ve walked through a lot of broken stories from numerous aching souls.
These phrases all boil down to one core emotion: shame.…
5 Easy Exercises That Will Make You Lose Your Mind
“Lose your mind so that you can gain a new way of knowing.” ~Holly Lynn Payne
You know those moments when your thoughts seem to be going off in all directions? No logic, no control. All fighting for your attention like a class full of overexcited school children, one shouting even louder than the other at a teacher who’s lost control and ends up running out of the classroom crying.
“What if I don’t get this job?”
“What if they don’t like me?”
“Why hasn’t Rico returned my calls?”
“What if he doesn’t really love me?”
“Did I …
Slow Down and Relax with ZoneOutTV (100 Free Subscriptions!)
Every now and then you just need to shut off—shut your phone off, shut your brain off, and give yourself a little space to simply be. We all do, especially now.
Let’s face it, it’s been a crazy year, with the pandemic, economic upheaval, and social justice conflicts, not to mention the upcoming election.
It’s always a good idea to create time and space for mindfulness and relaxation, but it’s even more imperative when life gets extra stressful and chaotic.
If you, like me, need a little help unwinding and quieting the voice in your head, I suspect you’ll love …
How to Heal from Gaslighting and Stop Hurting Yourself
“Gaslighting by parents can extend way into adulthood, but it may have particularly harmed you during your childhood. Children need to learn to trust themselves, and when they’re taught that what they see, hear, or feel isn’t real, that can lead to a lifetime of self-doubt.” ~Suzannah Weiss
Some of us grew up in families where our feelings and what we were experiencing were denied or pushed aside, what some people call “gaslighting.”
What is that? When someone—often our caregivers/parents—sows seeds of doubt in our minds that make us question our own sense of personal truth and reality.…
When You Want to Get Back to Normal but Life Will Never Be the Same
“Don’t waste your time looking back on what you’ve lost. Move on, for life is not meant to be traveled backwards.” ~Unknown
When I was thirty-eight, I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. During my treatment, one thought persisted: “I can’t wait until this is over and life goes back to normal.”
I clung to the belief that things would go back to how they once were, and all that needed to happen was for treatment to end. It gave me something to focus on that felt real during a time of disruption and uncertainty.
Unfortunately, when treatment ended …
Stop Striving, Start Stopping: How to Enjoy Life More
“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” ~Andy Rooney
Three months ago, I was blessed with an awesome opportunity—a free weekend break to Snowdonia, Wales.
Having experienced chronic health conditions for the past six years of my life, I had been hibernating.
My days were a black-and-white routine: wake up, drink a smoothie mix, go to work, meditate, come home, lie down, eat, sleep. Yet, my mind was always so busy filled with endless tasks, big dreams, and an expanding sense of pressure as I craved …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 