My anxiety stems from my need to control everything and my inability to predict the future. I am never going to stop worrying about the future but I can try to talk myself out of needing to control every little thing around me.

Stoicism is a huge key in my life that allows me to control anxiety. I actually started a forum topic over here about it.

It’s actually a very interesting philosophy because not only does it deal with anxiety, it deals with sadness, insatiability, and a ton of other negative emotions.

This quote by Audre Lorde always resonates with me when I start to become anxious about DOING. It helps me to reframe my thoughts around BEING a channel for my purpose:

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” 

― Audre Lorde

You have hit on the root of anxiety Louise…purely a future based emotional state.

All made up stories about how we think the future will potentially turn out for the worse.

For me it is realizing that on an absolute scale…everything is OK. Breathing into my lower body is key. And I recently came across Gangaji, she is amazing at getting to present moment awareness and fulfillment.

Here is a video of hers that changed my life, just in the past week in fact:

When I am anxious I always have a strong physical response (like a knot in the stomach). Breathing exercises and a daily mantra help me to be proactive in dealing with whatever life throws my way. 🙂

I relate to a lot of your posts! I’ve dealt with anxiety for a very long time and a lot of it has to do with future scenarios or uncertainty. Yoga, and focusing on my breathing (the “how-to” breathe properly) has really helped me. Sometimes I have to sit and break down what I am anxious about, which helps me realize how unlikely, or fixable, the situation is. Putting things into perspective really helps. In situations where appropriate, I will plan ahead, visually talk the scenario through in my head, and breathe — always seems to help manage my anxiety.

Hi Eleanor,

I think you have to follow your gut instinct and do what’s best for you regardless of other people’s reactions/opinions.

I am able to say this now, wholeheartedly because I’ve been in your shoes three years ago. As Hannah mentioned, it is possible to reach a point of no return and that’s exactly what happened in my situation.

As Lori mentioned, I did try to change the boundaries, but my relationships with my entire family never changed. With the help of a therapist and journalling my thoughts/feelings I struggled big time with my decision.

Though grieving the loss of my family in my life has been a gradual process. Removing their toxic energy has been one of the best gifts that I could have given myself.

I have found self-love, inner peace and happiness. Not to mention the physical symptoms I experienced for years—headaches, stomach pains, anxiety/depression miraculously disappeared.

With love and light,
-Andrea

For me, anxiety is triggered when I’m denying my current reality.

I gain relief by journalling all of my thoughts without judgment. I also take a walking meditation to connect with nature and this helps bring me back to the present moment.

Wow, I love that Lao Tzu quote.

I’ve always found that anxiety is arguing with What Is. Which is only possible, of course, when we’re not in the present moment.

Most of my anxieties are created by thoughts of what might happen in the future. I’m learning to question those thoughts and asking myself if those ideas are even real.

Negative thought: She hasn’t called me so she doesn’t like me anymore.

Balanced thought: I don’t know that.  Actually, there could be hundreds of reasons why she hasn’t called me. Maybe she’s busy, or fell asleep, or is working late, or her phone broke/ran out of power, or there is an emergency or in her family, or she’s been abducted by aliens.

The point is, there’s no evidence to prove anything. All of these are just thoughts.

I think the Buddha may have been the first  cognitive behavioral therapist.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 1 month ago by James Gummer.
• This reply was modified 11 years, 1 month ago by James Gummer.

I came across a relevant quote by Lao Tzu the other day…

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

Same thing works with me–living in the present moment has always kept anxiety at bay. Whenever I notice myself focusing on the “what ifs,” taking a deep breath and reminding myself to stay in the present has really helped me push through my own obstacles as well as create a space for me to deepen my connections with the people around me.

I’ve realized the same thing Louise!  Yoga has been very helpful for me, and it also helps to engage with the world around me and allow myself to have fun. Whenever I shift my focus from what might not happen tomorrow to what I can enjoy today, I feel a sense of relief.