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April 5, 2013 at 6:15 am #31102

Topic: Stoicism, My Weapon Against Insatiability and Unhappiness

in forum Emotional Mastery

Vincent Nguyen
Participant

Quick! What are the first few things that come to mind when you hear “Stoic?” You probably think someone who is emotionless, maybe a sad face.

Wrong!

Stoicism is actually a great philosophy that I personally believe is the ultimate self-improvement philosophy. I’ve actually written an article on the subject, but I’ll try to briefly summarize it here.

The Stoics main goal is to remove or minimize all negative emotions from their lives. Negative emotions include: anger, sadness, dissatisfaction, etc. Their other goal is to learn to truly appreciate everything in life.

They achieve both goals through multiple mental practices that you can do on a daily basis.

The first technique they use is called “Negative Visualization.”

Here is an excerpt from my article so you can get an idea of negative visualization:

In a nutshell, negative visualization is the periodic practice of imagining the worst-case scenario almost at all times. You should mentally picture losing the ones you cherish the most and imagine being at your lowest.
You may think doing this would raise a pessimist out of you, but in actuality Stoicism forms full-grown optimists who don’t take things for granted, but instead love every second of life’s fortunes.

One of the examples from the book contrasts two fathers. One father plays with his daughter and obviously loves her, however, he does not spend every second truly treasuring her current presence. To him there is always tomorrow to spend time with her. The second father knows that life is short and fleeting. He truly loves his daughter as much as the first, but he does not take a moment for granted as he constantly and consciously thinks about her mortality.

Now tragically both daughters have passed away. The first father is miserable and is a complete train wreck, feeling guilty for having taken her presence for granted. The second father, emotionally damaged as the first, can take solace in the idea that he took advantage of every second he could with his beloved daughter and mentally prepared for her passing on a daily basis. There was nothing he could have done that had not already been done.

This practice makes you realize you are very fortunate to be enjoying your current possessions, whether material or psychological (you could be insane and mentally broken.) You begin to hold what you have in higher value as you’re living life and you begin to be grateful for everything while simultaneously preparing you in case of tragic loss.

Another idea that Stoicism tackles is the problem of “hedonic adaptation.” We all assume more money = more happiness right? Well… The truth is more like more money means temporary increases in happiness, but then you baseline and return to your previous state of happiness with more desires. It’s also called a hedonic treadmill and you can see why.

Stoics counter the hedonic treadmill by consciously wanting what they have. Whoa! Did you ever think about that? That’s a whole new level to gratitude. Being grateful and thinking about how lucky you are isn’t enough. You have to consciously want what you already have.

I didn’t want to make this forum post TOO long, but I do go more in-depth to Stoicism and even make book recommendations on the subject. I don’t think I’m breaking the no new thread for just self-promotion rule because this article is highly relevant in this case.

Hope you guys consider giving Stoicism a chance! I’d love to see a discussion kick off here.

April 4, 2013 at 9:58 am #30557

In reply to: How deep down the rabbit hole do you go?

Guy
Participant

Yes, the longer the pauses between your meditations, the sooner the ‘effects’ wear off. If you meditate twice a day, even if it is just for 5 minutes (but longer is better), you’ll notice that from the moment you sit down, you pick up where you left off the previous meditation.

People tend to go from one meditation to another hoping to find ‘the one’ that will bring them ‘orgasmic bliss’ in minutes. There is even a program that was launched recently, that promises you a different meditation everyday for the rest of your life. But the reality is that it is better to master one basic meditation first and then move on to another one and master that one.
If ‘explosions of relaxation’ are what you are after, a basic meditation can get you there without a doubt.

Try this meditation twice a day for about a week and you’ll feel very relaxed, not only during the meditation, but throughout your entire day:
– Breathe in and out through your nose. Do not try to slow down your breathing, just be aware of it. Feel the air going in and out of your nose. Focus your attention on your nostrils and the air going in and out of your nose. If your mind starts to wander, bring your focus back to your nostrils. It’s normal if thoughts come in your head, especially in the beginning, so don’t get frustrated about it. Just breathe and feel your breath, that is all you do.

If you do this meditation for a couple of days, you should definitely feel very relaxed during the meditation and throughout your day. After doing this meditation for about a week or two, you can add a little variation.
Still focus on your nostrils and the air going in and out of your nose, but when you breathe in, imagine you are breathing in ‘pure love’ and filling your lungs and body with it. When you breathe out, you imagine breathing out gratitude.
After doing this for about a week (or maybe two, it varies per person), you’ll notice a feeling of love and gratitude throughout your entire day.

Just like with anything else, learn the basics first and build from there.

April 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm #30394

In reply to: How do you balance "honoring your truth" with focusing on what you DO want?

Carolyn Hidalgo
Participant

When we are living from our higher self (love that is light within us) – “honoring our truth” holds a high vibration, and it will attract what you want. You won’t have to try focusing on what you want. There’s a difference between “denying” meaning not putting attention to, and “denying” meaning “avoiding” which doesn’t work when it comes from fear.

Hiding from or burying ‘what is’ can hold a vibration that is low when there’s resistance for what you don’t want (what you resist persists, what you befriend you will transcend) – it’s about “accepting what is”, which does not mean you have to like it, but surrendering allows you to move into a space of gratitude for whatever difficulty or unwanted situation you are experiencing because there’s a gift when you see it this way to grow into. This perspective will shift your energy to help you move to where you want to be.

I’m not sure this answers your question, but this is how the law of attraction has been working in my life…I notice, and let go of my ego’s fear based energy, follow my heart, live in a space of gratitude for what is, and I don’t need to visualize – I just feel into what I want, and magically things, circumstances, and people show up. Pretending is tough to do – I believe you need to be aligned with faith, and love towards yourself, and then hold the thoughts of what you want because you deserve all of what’s good, loving, and beautiful – we all do : )

April 3, 2013 at 3:22 pm #30357

Topic: What are you GRATEFUL for today?

in forum Emotional Mastery

Jen Saunders
Participant

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ~ Marianne Williamson

One moment of gratitude can lift your spirits, shift your perception and change your life.

Use this discussion thread to share 3 things you’re grateful for today.

Here’s what I’m grateful for today:

1. My husband, for making me a cup of coffee in my favourite mug this morning.

2. Time to write and work on something I enjoy

3. This new community, for allowing me to connect with like-minded people from all over the world.

What are you grateful for today?

April 3, 2013 at 11:20 am #30262

In reply to: Living with a Chronic Illness

Lori Deschene
Keymaster

This is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately because my sister has interstitial cystitis (a bladder disease) and she recently got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I know it’s really hard for her, both because of the symptoms, and because other people can’t see them. I think it’s wonderful to aim for positivity and gratitude, but like you said, it’s not always easy, and you definitely deserve to be gentle with yourself if some days are harder than others. I know I want that for my sister!
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