Menu

Posts tagged with “authenticity”

What Helped Me Heal from a Breakup and Create a Life I Love

By

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

First, I slept in a snow shelter at -20°C.

Second, I stood alone on a stage in Montreal and tried to make strangers laugh.

Third, I stuck out my thumb on the side of a highway with nothing but a backpack and hoped that a stranger would take me home, 1,200 kilometers away.

I did all of these things deliberately, on purpose, as part of a project I called my Year of Fear. The idea was simple: face one new personal fear every month for a …

Learning to Speak Up When You Were Taught That Your Feelings Don’t Matter

By

“A proper grown-up communicates clearly and assertively.”

This is something I have heard many people say.

By that definition, I wouldn’t have been classed as a proper grown-up for most of my life.

There was a time when I couldn’t even ask someone for a glass of water. I know that might seem crazy to some people, and for a long time I did feel crazy for it.

Why couldn’t I do the things others did without even thinking about it? Why couldn’t I just say what I needed to say? Why couldn’t I just be normal?

Those questions …

The Wedding Dress Metaphor: A Powerful Lesson on Being Authentic

By

“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” ~Brené Brown

This past year, during a season of transition in my life, I started working part-time as a bridal stylist at a wedding dress store. It was something I had quietly dreamed about for years. I’ve always loved wedding dresses for their artistry, their structure, and the way each one feels like its own separate world of intention and detail.

But what has surprised me most hasn’t been the beauty. It’s been the these dresses revealed important lessons about confidence and …

We Are Allowed to Age: Why I Don’t Care That I Look Old

By

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~African Proverb

It is just past ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

My wet boardshorts and blue tank top are drying at lightning speed in the sweltering South Indian sun.

I am feeling alive and exhilarated after my surf session in the surreal blue, bathtub-warm Arabian Sea.

Surfing waves consistently has been my goal for the past two years, and I’m doing it. Which is pretty awesome considering that I never thought I would surf again.

The trauma and fear from a surfing accident ten years ago, …

Boundaries Begin Within: A Simple Insight That Changed My Life

By

“I used to tolerate a lot because I didn’t want to lose people. Now I set boundaries because I don’t want to lose myself.” ~Anonymous

I used to feel stretched and depleted in my own life, drained by obligations, and confused about why I felt overwhelmed even when everything looked ‘fine.’ At the time, I didn’t connect this exhaustion to boundaries at all. I simply knew the way I was living required a lot of me, even though I couldn’t yet name what this was really about.

For a long time, I didn’t have language for what was happening …

Letting Go of the “Good Person” Identity and Spiritual Expectations

By

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu

For many years, I was deeply involved in spiritual communities—satsangs, meditation centers, ashrams, and groups focused on positivity, service, and personal growth. These places gave me comfort, community, and a sense of purpose. But they also shaped something inside me that I didn’t fully recognize until much later:

I had built my self-worth around being a “good person.”

On the surface, it sounds harmless. Who doesn’t want to be good, kind, and helpful? But looking back, I see how the pressure I put …

AI Helped Me Sound “Better” and Feel Worse

By

It was close to midnight the first time it really hit me.

I was sitting alone at my kitchen table, still in work clothes, phone in hand. I’d come straight home after a long day of back-to-back meetings, staff conversations, and one decision I’d been avoiding for weeks—a call that would affect someone’s role, their income, and their sense of security. By the time I got home, I was too wired to sleep and too tired to change.

The house was quiet.

On the screen was a chat window.

Not with a friend. Not with a therapist. With an AI.…

The Beauty in Brokenness: Why Your Scars Make You Worthy

By

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

On July 2, 2009, my life shattered with three words: “He is gone.”

I thought my friend meant my love was away on a camping trip, but no. She meant he was gone, as in forever.

My stomach knotted and my breath stopped. My body was reacting to the gravity of the truth before my mind could fully process it. The man I loved more than life itself never came back from his camping trip, and in many ways, neither did I.

My heart broke in a million …

What Losing My Faith Taught Me About Being Truly Alive

By

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I grew up as the fifth of seven children in a strict religious family where faith shaped everything. From an early age, I learned to follow the rules, perform to be seen, keep the peace, and be good.

My religious upbringing taught me to give my power away. The church held the answers, the authority, and even forgiveness itself. I learned to seek approval from outside sources instead of developing a relationship with my own inner truth. …

The Power of Imperfect Work in an AI-Driven, Perfection-Obsessed World

By

“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.” ~Salvador Dalí

We live in a world that worships polish.

Perfect photos on Instagram. Seamless podcasts with no awkward pauses. Articles that read like they’ve passed through a dozen editors.

And now, with AI tools that can produce mistake-free writing in seconds, the bar feels even higher. Machines can generate flawless sentences, perfect grammar, and shiny ideas on demand. Meanwhile, I’m over here second-guessing a paragraph, rewriting the same sentence six different ways, and still wondering if “Best” or “Warmly” is the less awkward email sign-off.

It’s easy to feel like our …

Letting Go of the Life You Were Told to Want

By

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever since I was about four years old, I knew I was different from the other kids. I was always on the outside looking in. As I approach middle age, I’ve never shaken that feeling—the knowing—of being different.

We live in a noisy world where we find whatever we seek. If we’re looking for validation that we don’t belong, that’s exactly what we’ll find.

While flawed, the standard ‘life blueprint’ hasn’t quite sailed off into …

The Truth About Why I’ve Ghosted People (and What I’ve Learned)

By

“Ghosting is cruel because it denies a person the chance to process, to ask questions, or to get closure. It’s emotional abandonment, masquerading as protection.” ~Dr. Jennice Vilhauer

I never set out to ghost anyone.

In fact, I used to hate ghosting with the burning fury of a thousand unread dating app notifications. I told myself I’d never be that person—the one who disappears mid-conversation, fails to reply after a good date (or sends a very bland thank you message), or silently vanishes like a breadcrumb trail to nowhere.

And yet… here I am. Writing a post about how I’ve …

Healing Through Reparenting: The Greatest Act of Self-Love

By

“When you reparent yourself, you can step in and give your inner child the deep love and attention you may not have had when you were young.” ~Victoria Albina

Reparenting is not for the faint of heart, but the journey can surely be described as the greatest act of self-love. It’s a gift—a chance to redo some of the painful aspects of childhood and adolescence, but with the awareness of an adult mind. It is also an opportunity to connect much more deeply with ourselves and those we wish to connect with in a more authentic way.

What is reparenting?…

Embracing Rejection Helped Me Love Dating and Meet My Husband

By

“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.” ~Steve Maraboli

I think most single people these days dream of meeting someone “in real life.”

The fantasy is that in “the real world” it’ll be easier.

I dated BA and AA. Before apps and after apps.

The sad truth is that technology changed the game whether you’re on apps or not.

The life skill of walking up to someone in a bar and starting a conversation out of thin air has vanished. The ability to be the receiver of that …

How I Stopped Feeling Like an Outsider by Being Honest with Myself

By

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Bernard M. Baruch

As a young boy, maybe in fourth or fifth grade, I came to the realization that I was an outsider.

I didn’t like playing video games after school, I played basketball while the other boys played soccer, and most of all, I didn’t like the unpleasant and sometimes bullying tone that had formed amongst my good friends.

One good friend in particular—let’s call him Theo—I considered to be my best friend.

For years, we celebrated birthdays, …

5 Ways to Heal from a Highly Critical, Controlling Parent

By

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay

When I was growing up, it felt like nothing was good enough for my dad. And all I longed for was his acceptance and love.

He had this temper that would blow up, and he’d blame me for how he felt. He would outright tell me his behavior was my fault. That if I’d behaved better, he wouldn’t have had an outburst.

When he told me I wasn’t enough or worthy, I believed him. I was constantly walking on eggshells …

How Boundaries Help You Stay True to Yourself (And Two Practices to Try Today)

By

“The more you value yourself, the healthier your boundaries are.” ~Lorraine Nilon

I want to talk about the direct correlation between boundaries and self-love. Because when we truly love ourselves and have a healthy self-worth and self-concept, setting boundaries becomes a natural extension of that.

Without boundaries, we either become walled off and protect ourselves from others, which creates a sense of deep isolation and loneliness, or we become enmeshed with others. We often find ourselves living on their side of the street, working overtime to manage, fix, caretake, or be needed by them, all while neglecting ourselves and our …

How I Stopped Worrying About What Others Think of Me

By

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker

On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my long, thick, luscious hair.

I marched up Sandy Boulevard in Portland, Oregon, walked into Take Pride Barbershop, and sat in the chair with the most badass barber. She quelled my last-minute fears and boldly took the clippers to my never-shorter-than-shoulder-length hair.

It was instant liberation.

I had finally worked up the courage to do so after four years of internal debate and worry, which went something …

8 Ways You Can Help Fight the Loneliness Epidemic

By

“The antidote to loneliness isn’t just being around random people indiscriminately, the antidote to loneliness is emotional security.” ~Benedict Wells

Emotional security. The feeling of being at home in the presence of another. Safe to be who you are, good times or bad. Feeling seen and seeing the other clearly, accepting the other’s whole lovely mess. It’s good stuff, and it can be hard to find.

In fact, ever-increasing loneliness stats have led many experts to describe the problem as epidemic. You might assume it was caused by the pandemic, but it was a crisis long before lockdowns and …

How to Let People in So You Can Feel Seen, Heard, and Supported

By

“We are hard-wired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” ~Brené Brown

In relationships, I have always felt more comfortable being on the sidelines rather than center stage. I liked playing the supporting role to many people’s leading roles. I am good at it; it’s the career I chose for myself as a life coach. However, personally, constantly staying in the role of supporter created resentment.

I felt unseen and unheard, and many of my relationships began to feel one-sided—with me listening and holding space for them and …