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Posts tagged with “Fear”

How to Get to the Shore When You’re Drowning in Pain

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“The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Pain can feel like a dark cave with no light to help us find our way out. Or an ocean with waves so big we feel like we can’t ever swim to the shore. Peace is the place we arrive at when we swim to the shore, up and out of the pain we were drowning in. But how do we get there?

For most of us, the first thing we do when we’re in pain is look for somebody to join us …

Releasing Negative Beliefs: How Letting Go Sets Us Free

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“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Andre Gide

I have walked on water.

The frozen wasteland known as Chicago had kept me inside, wary of the intense cold that was breaking records that particularly frigid winter. But after interminable snow days, I began to feel like a caged animal that needed to break free.

I woke early one morning, overcome with the urgent need to connect to something living, something wild. I wrapped myself in countless layers like the kid in The Christmas Story and ventured out into the …

3 Tips to Get Out of Your Head and Start Expressing Yourself

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“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” ~Bruce Lee

I have always been timid when it comes to expressing myself, speaking my mind, and standing up for something. This stems from being raised in a culture where showing emotions is frowned upon.

Nothing I ever did seemed good enough. There was constant criticism that I could do better, and be better. I was raised to never to talk back to my seniors and not to say anything when I had nothing nice to say.

So …

Conquering Fear

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Source: Positive Motivation

How to Strengthen Relationships by Releasing Fear and Control

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“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction with self.” ~Joan Didion

When I was a young man I had an issue with relationships. Looking back now, it is easy to see that I had low self-esteem, though I could not see it at the time. Because of my low self-image and my neediness, many relationships that could have had a decent chance went by the way side.

I developed a low-level anxiety about how much any girlfriend cared for me, which, in turn, became outright jealousy and resulted in controlling behavior.

I would …

Living an Exciting Life When You Fear Leaving Your Comfort Zone

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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown 

What if you realized on evening of December 31st, that the past 365 days were the best yet? Imagine a single year in which you scared yourself into your deepest fears and faced more challenges than you ever had from all the previous years combined?

Moving forward, how would you feel about one-upping that year? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Scattered? Yeah, me too.

This was the question that I asked myself on the last evening of 2013 that left me thinking back on distant memories, …

How to Tackle the Top 6 Fears That Keep Us Stuck

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“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende

When you think of a fearless person, you might imagine a real-life James Bond who performs death-defying stunts knowing he could die at any second.

But for most of us living “normal” lives, fear operates at a subconscious level and prevents us from being the best we can be.

For a long time, I struggled with these fears. I could not get myself to speak in front of people without experiencing extreme nervousness. When it came to talking to girls I liked, …

4 Lessons on Conquering Fear and Living the Life You Want to Live

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” ~Marianne Williamson

After lying on my apartment floor for an hour, I walked over to the mirror, leaned in, and looked into my eyes.  This was the moment I came face to face with the truth: I was afraid to stand up and be who I wanted to be in this …

Keep Your Eye on the Prize to Find the Courage to Keep Going

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“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt 

I will never forget June 20, 1999.

I experienced many firsts on that day: leaving my family behind, traveling by plane, and being surrounded by people talking a different language.

But that day wasn’t exceptional for those reasons alone; it also put me on a path of independence and self-discovery that has treated me well ever since.

My dream was simple in my teens: to live abroad and speak a foreign language.

I wanted this because of the …

Sharing Yourself Without Worrying About Being Accepted

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“Happiness is really a deep harmonious inner satisfaction and approval.” ~Francis Wilshire

Acceptance.

This is a word we often toss around, but what does it truly mean? Perhaps the meaning of it ultimately resides within its beholder. I know I have certainly achieved my own understanding of what acceptance means to me and for me, and so far, this definition is ever evolving.

On November 6, 2013, I returned to the United States after having lived in Australia for two and a half years. I spent the majority of my time there studying and practicing yoga and teaching yoga and …

How to Know What You’re Really Feeling So You Can Feel Better

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“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

Throughout my life, I thought of myself as someone who felt too much. I was very gregarious and could easily be consumed by moments of joy and celebration. But when I was alone, I could be overtaken by angry, self-destructive voices that would dominate my mind.

By senior year of high school, I was spending many hours of the day crying, and had taken to pinching and punching myself until I was black and blue.

I felt I needed …

Stop Waiting on Your Dream: Take Tiny Steps to Make “Someday” Now

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“The beautiful things about setbacks is they introduce us to our strengths.” ~Robin Sharma

It was morning, March 2009. My alarm announced another ho-hum weekday.

On the outside, I had it pretty together. I was living the corporate NYC life with a great apartment, a steady relationship, and a solid paycheck. But in the back of my mind, I knew I wasn’t as happy as I made myself out to be.

I didn’t know what I really wanted, and I constantly felt like I should just stop complaining in my head and make the best of things.

So, with every …

Overcoming Fear and Perceived Threats to Work Toward Your Dream

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“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

I awoke with a jolt. I heard the steady breathing of my sleeping partner next to me. I checked the clock; it was 3:30 AM. With a deep exhale, while rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I reached out to my bedside table to grab my phone.

For a moment, I hesitated. I knew that tickets went on sale at 4:00 AM New Zealand Time and that they would be going fast.

The U.S. event I wanted to attend would require a considerable financial investment (air travel …

How to Stop Limiting Yourself and Feel Fully Alive

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“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy

I like my comfort zone and I hate it. It’s safe, but if I stay there too long it starts to feel like a cage. No wild creature is happy in a cage, and we’re all wild creatures at heart.

Sure, we like the reliability of being well fed, clothed, safe, and loved. It’s my theory though (formed just this second) that we are meant to hunt, to seek, to struggle, to engage with a world that offers no guarantees.

Like …

Dare to Stand Out: 3 Ways to Let Your Unique Self Shine

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“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown

I can remember many times in my life when I was afraid to stand out.

When listening to a lecture or panel discussion at school, I always had questions to ask, but the moment I finally raised my hand, my heart would start palpitating and gravity would force my arm down.

The same thing happened in business meetings. I struggled to articulate my ideas, although I was sure they could have brought some …

Owning Our Stories: Overcoming The Fears That Make Us Play Small

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“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brené Brown

It’s taken me a long time to figure out my story.

I kept thinking, “Nothing particularly dramatic has happened to me, so how can I have a story?”

Yet recently, after years of personal growth work, that’s shifted. I see the golden thread that weaves through my story and what that means for how I show up and what I bring to the world.

I now see that this whole thing about owning your story …

Two Words That Can Motivate You to Keep Going: What If?

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“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Carefully, I wrote my New Year’s Resolutions neatly in my purple leather bound journal, which chronicled the ups and downs of the past year of my life.

Resolutions, whether they’re made on the first of January or any day of the year, are refreshing. It’s a chance to start again—the closest you can get to a “redo” of the past.

In prior years, I made resolutions that were destined to fail. Read one book per …

Keep Shining Your Light, Even When You Feel Broken

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“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz

I keep a prism hanging near the entrance to my home. Its beauty, made possible only by the broken nature of the glass from which it is constructed, serves as a constant reminder that even the broken pieces within each and every one of us can serve as a source of light. It’s a lesson that took me some time to learn.

Shortly after graduating from college, I took a long, brutally honest look at my life and realized …

Are You Limited by the Fear of What Other People Think?

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“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” ~Eckhart Tolle

A few months ago, I found myself on the busy streets of London’s Covent Garden.

It was a mild Friday evening in the capital and the masses were out celebrating the end of the working week, looking forward to the weekend ahead.

But that’s not why I was there.

I’d come to Covent Garden on that day for a special project.

For most of my life, the fear of what other people thought of me had kept me trapped. It had prevented me …

6 Tips to Help You Free Yourself from Your Fearful Thoughts

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“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Here I am, huddled up close to the wood burner, my only source of heat, sitting on an old recliner chair that was given to me, in a rented apartment with windows soaked with condensation. Outside it is cold, wet, and dreary, a typical English winter’s day.

My business folded in July with substantial personal debt and I turned forty-four in August.

Perhaps not the most heart-warming start to a post, but rather some raw facts of how …