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Posts tagged with “Fear”

5 Steps to Make Change Work for You

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Alan Watts

Life is a free-flowing, ever changing river. Riding the rapids is frightening, and the temptation to avoid it is alluring. However, the adventure it promises is equally attractive.

We are naturally primed to adapt. Yet, the possibility of having to give up what is familiar is daunting. It can leave one paralyzed, disoriented, and unable to move forward.

In my childhood, my family kept moving across cities and often within the same city. By the time I …

Why Enthusiasm Trumps Worrying When It Comes to Reaching Goals

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“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia

They say the greatest joy in life is to be able to live your passion every day, and I only had to look to my teens to remember that what I had always enjoyed doing most—working out. That’s where I wanted to go in life.

Held hostage by worries about the future, status, and money, I decided to head on a different path. I did well in college, graduating with a business degree and a double major in finance and accounting.

A few years …

When You Feel Terrified: Come Out of the Panic Zone

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“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

Are you as scared as I am?

I’m terrified.

I’m not talking horror movie terrified either. This isn’t the kind of scared where you jump, but then realize it’s just your friend who’s surprised you. This isn’t even the kind of scared when you realize you left your iPhone in a public bathroom.

This is the kind of scared where your gut churns and churns. You feel shaky, hungry, and out of sorts. It’s a visceral, palpable fear.

Who’s Afraid Of the Big Bad… ?

You’re probably …

Leaving the Safety of Something Familiar When You Feel Scared

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“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~Pema Chodron

Winter is a time for hibernation, I told myself, drinking a second cup of coffee under the duvet, flicking absent-mindedly through old magazines and self-help books bought in a brief conviction that I wouldn’t begin another year reading in bed.

It seems perverse that, in the Northern Hemisphere at least, this time meant for reunion and resolution (neither of which is easy or straightforward) should occur in the darkest of seasons—when the sun barely even rises and the general inclination …

Learning to Trust: Let Go of Your Fear and Let Your Guard Down

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“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway

In love and in life, our vulnerability is one of our greatest strengths. We often believe that we risk too much by being vulnerable, but, in fact, the opposite is true. When we build a wall around us to protect ourselves from our big, bad fears, we miss out on so much.

When we live with the mindset that something may be taken from us (physically or emotionally), or that we need to be in control of everything that happens, we endure …

Share Your Vulnerable Story: Find Strength by Letting Others In

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“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene

In February of 2011, I went to see my doctor because I was suffering from severe headaches that I figured were associated with using computers all day at my law job. After having a few tests, the doctor said that I wasn’t doing well and he suggested that I take a leave from work to focus on my health.

The next few months, I found myself in and out of doctors’ offices, medical labs, and hospitals on a weekly basis. With …

We Are More Than What We Do: Allowing Our Authentic Nature to Shine

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“The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is.” ~Unknown

In this society of ours, parents teach their children to do, to perform, to produce. We learn that to be adult, we need to be “productive members of society.” At social gatherings, more often than not, the first question among strangers is “What do you do?”

My first memories include identifying so deeply with my movie director father that when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always replied, “A writer and director.”

Then life happened, and I spent decades …

How to Find Peace When You Feel Scared About What Might Happen

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

I was in shock for about ten minutes after hearing the news, afraid while lying on the procedure table, and relieved when it was over.

Six months ago I had a mammogram. My checkup was supposed to be for a general mammogram—the one you get when you turn forty—but when I got there and told the technician that two days ago I had discovered a small bump in my right breast, the prescription was changed to a diagnostic …

Who Are You Trying to Prove Yourself To?

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“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit

Some might say that their past haunts them like old ghosts. As for me, my ghost is my childhood.

I was raised in a moderately traditional family, as opposed to some overly traditional Chinese families where everyone lived by a thick rulebook.

Luckily, my family was a little more lenient, which I consider a true blessing. However, I felt as though my parents held me captive inside a glass box. Whenever I thought about being chained down from what …

8 Tips to Move Beyond Envy and Start Thriving

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“Envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness.” ~Bertrand Russell

Everyone feels it. Envy is universal. I can trace my first feelings of envy to my childhood. I grew up with six sisters, each one taller and thinner than I was. On top of that, they all had pretty, long, thick hair. Mine was thin, fine, and unruly. I wore a bra as early as fifth grade. They didn’t need one until high school.

I had a bad case of sister envy. Once, when I was mad at my oldest sister, I actually imagined taking scissors to her …

Are You Betting On Yourself Or Against Yourself?

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“The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.” ~Paulo Coelho

I stood there in the parking lot of my apartment complex, with the hot Phoenix sun beating down on me, as I watched him drive away for what I thought would be the last time.

With tears rolling down my cheeks, I went inside my apartment after his car had turned the corner and was out of sight.

When the door closed behind me with that familiar thud, I could almost feel the loneliness swallow me up.

We met nine months earlier and quickly fell in love. But …

3 Ways to Transform Anxiety into Positive Energy

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“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” ~Proverb

A few months ago, I moved from the metropolitan east coast to rural Indiana and bunked up with my grandparents to help them sell their house.

The house has finally sold, and now I am faced with options for where to go next. In other words, my future is completely uncertain at this point, and I’m experiencing quite a bit of anxiety over it.

On the real, I’m silently, and at times not so silently, freaking out.

Anxiety is so annoying in that it can be completely paralyzing. It is …

Realizing Your Dream: Stop Dwelling on “What Ifs”

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“Excellence can be obtained if you care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible.” ~Unknown

I think I always had an idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I sort of tweaked it along the way. I knew I wanted to work in the field of science, but like most kids, I wasn’t exactly sure where I fit in.

When I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an astronaut. At the age of …

Pushing Outside Our Comfort Zone: 3 Empowering Lessons

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“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

I recently returned from four weeks of traveling by myself in Europe. No, I’m not bragging, although it was pretty awesome.

What made it amazing, besides the lovely scenery, tasty food, cultural experiences, and wine, was that I had a few great opportunities to re-visit some lessons that I think many of us could resonate with.

1. It is awesome to make decisions based on what supports our goals, not our fearful feelings.

Let …

Book Giveaway and Author Interview: 52-Week Life Passion Project

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

It’s not easy to do something you’re passionate about for work—and not only because it’s hard to discover your passion or find a job to leverage it.

Once we know what we love to do, we then need to work through all kinds of limiting thoughts, beliefs, and fears that may prevent us from taking action. Then we need to decide what that action should be—how …

Overcoming Anxiety: Moving from Fear to Presence

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“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

When I was a trainee teacher at a Cambridge University, I attended one of the oldest, most sought-after colleges, where most of the other graduate students were astrophysicists and economists, and 90% male.

They also seemed to come from families that were in some way related to the Queen of England, whereas I was a young, pregnant, trainee high school teacher whose nearest connection to Queens was owning a Freddie Mercury single, and I was a little shy.

Formal college dinners were a …

6 Steps to Release Your Fear and Feel Peaceful

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“We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn.” ~Mary Catherine Bateson

It was a balmy spring morning and I started my day as per usual, but I soon realized that my mind was entertaining fearful thoughts about my financial insecurity.

With many new ventures within the seedling stage, my income flow was erratic and unpredictable, while my financial responsibilities were consistent and guaranteed. At the time I ignored these thoughts as “petty,” like a parent dismissing a crying child after a mild fall on the pavement.

What I didn’t realize was that my mind wanted …

The World’s Top 7 Life-Changing Gurus

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“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs  

Where do you turn when life gets you down? Who’s your hero, your mentor, your pillar of strength amidst the turmoil?

Haven’t we all had those days when life just seems to be a battle? I know I certainly have. And then there are times when there’s an ongoing challenge that grabs hold of us and just won’t let go.

What can you do? Where do you get your strength—your answers?

For a lot of us, we look to …

Moving on from a Mistake: 5 Tips to Relieve Your Pain

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“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

We all make mistakes, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when we’re in the midst of them. We try to avoid them at all costs because the pain and price can be high.

It can cost us our jobs, our reputations, or our driving records.

In their election ads, political candidates often focus on their opponents’ negative aspects in order to make us vote for them instead. It’s almost as if we’re voting for the person least likely to …

Transcending Your Fear Using Courage and Boldness

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“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear” ~Ambrose Redmoon

I hear the words courage and boldness thrown around a lot in the self-growth world, often as the same thing.

Or that the notion of true courage and boldness only looks like this big, huge, daring action, like a hero out of a movie lunging into a fearful situation.

Courage and boldness always confused me and I thought they were pretty much the same thing.

But once I learned the difference between them, I was able to have this …