What a Healthy Relationship Will Never Require of You
Source: Live Life Happy
Posts tagged with “friends”
How Technology Makes It Easy to Flake Out (And How to Stop It)
“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” ~Unknown
How many times have you made plans with friends, only to receive the dreaded, “Sorry, need to reschedule” text just minutes before you were meant to meet?
Is it any wonder that you get tired of trying, that you struggle to feel secure in relationships?
But before we get carried away castigating others, let’s take a look at ourselves. We hate it when other people bail at the last minute, but do we do it too?
As humans, we have an astonishing …
How I Used My Phone as a Crutch and What I Know Now
“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” ~Joseph F Newton
Can you imagine your life without a cell phone?
It’s hard, right?
For most of us, we use our phones every day, whether it’s for talking with others, looking up information, or entertaining ourselves during those lulls in the day.
A short while back, my phone contract expired and I was left without a cell phone. It felt strange at first, since my phone was something that was beside me almost every second of the day.
But a thought came up: What would my life be like …
How to Make New Friends When You’re Feeling Lonely
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
It’s a weird paradox.
In a world where technology and social media seem to bring more of us together more of the time, recent research indicates that more of us are feeling lonely more of the time too.
People sometimes deflect their feelings of social nakedness by making a joke of it.
“Look at me: Norma No Mates!” they say when admitting again to having no plans for the weekend.
But it’s no laughing matter.
And I get it. I really do. I’ve been Norma No …
Create a Team to Battle Fears and Loneliness
“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu
Five years ago, I found myself rebuilding my life after my fourteen-year marriage ended. During those first months preceding my divorce, crushing feelings of fear and loneliness often consumed me. Thankfully, I began seeing a wonderful therapist named Muriel.
Each week, I held my breath until it was time for my appointment, when I could curl up on Muriel’s sofa and exhale all my anxieties.
One week, when I was particularly overwhelmed, Muriel gave me the number of the local Crisis Hotline and insisted that …
Authenticity May Feel Risky But It’s Worth It
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown
Growing up I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I would be on top of the world and the next I felt overwhelmed by anxiety. I didn’t know how to share my difficult emotions in a healthy way with my friends and family, so I started suppressing them instead.
I realized early on that it felt safe to hide my feelings, because no one could judge me if I kept them to myself. I believed …
How to Show Your Friends You Appreciate Them
“Life without friendship is like the sky without the sun.” ~Unknown
You love your friends. They’ve been with you through good times and bad. They are the rare breed of humans that accept your weirdness, accept your authentic self, and even love you for it.
You wholeheartedly appreciate them. When you’re with them, you get an overwhelming sense of thankfulness that you have this wonderful human being in your life.
Sometimes, however, you get a sense that you wish you could let that person know just how much they truly mean to you.
Offering to buy a cup of …
3 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Feel Unsupported in Relationships
“A community of friends supporting each other can make a world of difference.” ~Unknown
Many of us feel we’re not getting the support we want or deserve in relationships.
Maybe we’ve never felt supported by our friends or family. Maybe we don’t feel supported by our peers or co-workers. Maybe we don’t even feel supported by our partner.
This can leave us feeling drained, tired, and unhappy, like we’re moving through life without much fuel to keep going.
During my adolescence and early adulthood, this was a huge struggle for me. I rarely found a place or group of friends …
How to Stop Trying to Fit In and Finally Belong
“Perhaps home is not a place, but simply an irrevocable condition.” ~James Baldwin
It’s normal, isn’t it?
Wanting to be accepted. Longing to feel at home. Hoping for that reassuring up-nod from the universe that says, “You’re one of us. And you get to stay.”
So you try to fit in wherever it feels right. You get the job everyone approves of. You marry the person you’re supposed to. You say yes most of the time. And you’re as good as you’re supposed to be.
You’ve jumped through every hoop and worn all the right masks, but it seems that …
6 Things to Keep in Mind When You’re Trying to Make New Friends
“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” ~Alice Walker
When I was young, I never actively wanted friends, probably because I didn’t know the benefits of having strong friendships. I got along fine in my social circle in high school, in part because I could translate Latin more quickly than my classmates, which was helpful to some of them, and because I was pleasant enough.
I wasn’t going to get on anyone’s nerves, at least not on purpose. In fact, I was so careful not to be a bother to anyone …
Why We Might Feel Lonely and What to Do About It
“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.” ~Dorothy Day
Throughout my life it’s been really hard to admit when I’ve felt lonely.
I’ve been through intense periods where I have been without others.
I’ve been surrounded by people yet have felt no real connections.
The people I have loved have been physically or emotionally absent.
I’ve simply been alone over weekends, over weeks, over months, over years, and it has been grueling and horrible.
I found I had to monitor how much I shared …
Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships and Rediscovering Yourself
“I am leaving you for me. Whether I am incomplete or you are incomplete is irrelevant. Relationships can only be built with two wholes. I am leaving you to continue to explore myself: the steep, winding paths in my soul, the red, pulsing chambers of my heart. I hope you will do the same. Thank you for all the light and laughter that we have shared. I wish you a profound encounter with yourself.” ~ Peter Schaller
A few months back I was someone you could easily walk all over. I was afraid to let go of friendships because I …
52 Ways to Tell Someone You Love and Appreciate Them
“The most important thing in this world is to learn to give out love and let it come in.” ~Morrie Schwartz
As a child, I never heard the phrase “I love you.” Now, I hear people say it all the time—at the end of phone calls and whenever parting ways.
When I moved away from my hometown of Adelaide, South Australia, twenty years ago, I noticed how much less I felt loved interstate in Melbourne, Victoria. Even though I didn’t hear “I love you” when I was in Adelaide, somehow I knew people cared.
Soon after I arrived here, I …
Keeping Your Word and Showing Up in Your Relationships
“The simplest deed is better than the greatest intention.” ~John Burroughs
In former times, a person’s word was his “bond.”
In fact, major business deals were transacted and solidified with a simple promise and a firm handshake. It was that basic.
Court cases were reserved for hardened criminals, not contractual breaches. And trust? It was as much of a commodity as stocks and bonds.
I miss those days.
Based upon a number of personal and professional interactions over the last couple of years, it seems that not enough folks consider their word as binding, particularly when it comes to friends …
Forming Positive Relationships: Two Simple Strategies to Meet New People
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou
We all want to be around people who make us feel lighter and happy. We love seeing and interacting with people who brighten our days.
So, why is it that so many of us spend our days with people who don’t lift us up, people who don’t inspire us, and in some cases, people who tear us down?
It’s tough to remove these kinds of people from our lives, especially if we see …
Family Isn’t Always Forever: When It’s Time to Say Goodbye
“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” ~Edna Buchanan
A few years ago I ended all contact with my parents, and I have not seen or spoken to them since then.
The truth is I am actually okay with that. Initially, I thought I was going to lose my mind. I had been brought up to believe that family comes first. Children should respect and take care of their parents. Family should—and will—always be there for each other.
Those beliefs were based on love, and I cherished them.
I wanted so much to feel that connection—that unconditional love those …
Finding Kindred Spirits by Honoring Your Inner Misfit
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen
It should theoretically be simple but being authentic is not easy. It takes gumption to assert with courageous conviction “This is me!” and grace to accept what comes after.
From my first discordant bear cry in a nursery full of normally crying babies, I was different, quirky. My own way of doing things—dresses over jeans, art over sports—made me an early outcast. Nothing I naturally did fit me within my particular society.
For a while, during …
8 Things I Learned from a Phone-Free Month
“Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are.” ~Jose Ortega y Gasset
I used to live in San Francisco, a city celebrated for its carnivals, free music festivals, thriving bar culture, Mexican food markets, beautiful parks, fantastic literary events, thrift stores, and… (Can you tell I miss it?]
The effect of having all this culture available is that quite often, we spend more time around the doing of an event than the doing itself. I’ll elaborate.
I would spend x amount of time on my phone searching for cool events to go to. …
5 Ways to Find Your People (The Ones Who Really Get You)
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown
For probably over thirty years—since I was old enough to know I needed them—I’ve been looking for my people.
You know the ones—the people who get you, somehow; who are on the same wavelength. Some might even say the people who share the same brand of quirky, crazy, or oddness that you do. The ones who understand why you do what you do, or if they don’t understand, they either ask or they just accept, and either way is …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 