Posts tagged with “Pain”
The Power of Staying Put When You Feel Like Running Away
“You cannot keep running away from your fears. At some point in life you will have to build up the courage to face and overcome them.” ~Unknown
Last year my family and I relocated overseas from Australia to Singapore, which meant new jobs, new schools, new relationships—an entirely new way of living.
My husband was busy with his work, and I had two wide-eyed children looking up at mummy for direction. A part of me was excited for the challenge, but another part of me, of equal measure, was feeling overwhelmed by the prospect and struggling to let my feelings …
Our Power Lies In How We Choose to Respond to Our Pain
“The strongest hearts have the most scars.” ~Unknown
Maybe it’s true, that the strongest hearts have the most scars.
And maybe the pain and the discomfort we experience in life can serve as a great teacher, if we choose to see it that way.
Everyone has bumps, bruises, and pains in life, right?
Things happen that are outside our control, and it’s up to each one of us to decide how these experiences shape us.
There are those who endure incredible trauma and pain and choose to use those experiences to see life differently. They learn from it, grow, and …
Overcoming Self-Sabotage: How to Stop Attracting Pain
“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.” ~Milton Erickson
Sometimes, there comes a point in our lives when we need to let go of something painful, whether its guilt or a toxic relationship, but it’s equally difficult to let go and hard to live without. So we get uncomfortably stuck in the middle of two realities: where we are and where we want to be.
But do we really want to let go of the pain? Or is letting go so scary and unfamiliar that we’d rather hold onto it?
I’ve always …
How to Stop Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop and Start Living Fully
“Use your precious moments to live life fully every single second of every single day.” ~Marcia Wieder
I recently came back from an amazing vacation overseas with my family. All of our travel went smoothly, everyone stayed healthy, and there wasn’t any drama or conflict among family members. Other than one flight being delayed, it was perfect.
On the way home from the trip my heart and soul were soaring from the fun we had enjoyed, savoring the memories in my mind and feeling grateful. I noticed, though, that when I returned home my mind slowly started to shift. …
Break the Cycle: How to Stop Hurting Others When You Were Mistreated
“What’s broken can be mended. What hurts can be healed. And no matter how dark it gets, the sun is going to rise again.” ~Unknown
I grew up with difficult and hurtful parents who spoke critically, with the intent to demean.
Each word of sarcasm, each thinly veiled joke or put-down undercut my self-esteem. Each knocked me down a rung in life and kept me from my potential.
Rampant comparisons to other Indian kids succeeding academically, attacks of my mediocre performance at school, and harsh language were my mother’s weapons of choice.
When someone attacks your self-esteem repeatedly, you …
Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken – Interview and Book Giveaway
Note – The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:
- Jennifer Moore Hardesty
- Margie Lynn
- Dr. Mac
- Ryan
- RB
- Justme
- Rogério Cardoso
- Fernanda Garza
- Benjamin E. Nichols
- Terri Cross
When you’re dealing with heartbreak, it can feel like the pain will never go away.
You may know, intellectually, that everything heals with time, but in that moment, when you’re suffering, it’s hard to hold onto hope.
Like all humans, I’ve experienced my fair share of loss, and I’ve felt scared, depressed, alone, betrayed, rejected, regretful, and angry—with other people, with myself, and with the world.
Losing someone or …
How We Suffer When We Judge Other People’s Choices
“The greatest gift you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” ~Brian Tracy
Two months ago I travelled back home to Connecticut to care for a sick parent. My dad was preparing for cancer treatment, trying to figure out the medical system, and packing up to move all at the same time. He was overwhelmed with stress and exhausted from his pain medication. As a caring and health-conscious daughter, I was eager to help.
I had visions of cooking him meals of steamed greens and healthy soups. And I stocked my suitcase with supplements that …
When Life Feels Hard and Unfair: 4 Lessons That Helped Me Cope
“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” ~William James
Two years ago, I gave birth to my second daughter via a planned C-section at thirty-seven weeks.
My first daughter had been born via emergency C-section after seventeen hours of unmedicated labor. I had very much wanted a natural, intervention-free birth. Due to a number of issues, the surgery was so complicated that I was told it would be dangerous to ever go into labor, much less have a natural birth ever again.
Of course, this was devastating for me.
Still, I …
Conscious Breathing: A Simple Way to Heal Your Pain and Be Present
“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I never gave much thought to my breath unless I was submerged under water for long periods without any.
Today I rely on it for more than the obvious function of keeping me alive.
Breathing has become my biggest tool and best friend.
It has become a foundation for living with conscious presence and awareness.
Breathing consciously has helped me overcome anxiety and has provided a gateway into peace.
The breath has helped me move through long buried emotions and trauma.…
Healing from Childhood Abuse: Get Help and Take Your Life Back
TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.
“No one loses their innocence. It is either taken or given away willingly.” ~Tiffany Madison
Childhood innocence. When I think of it I always picture a baby lying on their back, playing with their feet. They are laughing, cooing, smiling, and lost in a sense of wonder. Full of joy, love, curiosity, and awe. When you look at them you can’t help but smile, and their joy and laughter are infectious. At this moment, they are perfect.
Now have all that taken …
How I Changed My Life by Remembering Who I Was Before the Pain
“If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.” ~Unknown
For a skinny, curly haired five-year-old girl, life was magical.
Buried in books and living in my imagination, I was constantly scribbling stories and dreaming of far away places. My inquisitive mind and persistent curiosity led me further than I ever thought possible. I was a little girl with big dreams, in a world where nothing seemed impossible, where life was bliss.
Then school started.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, at times it was horrifying. And not academically, no, I enjoyed it very much. But being different and not trying to …
Surviving Loss: You Always Have Choice
“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey
One ordinary night after an ordinary day of work and family, I went to bed a mother, wife, teacher, writer-person.
I remember falling asleep between sentences exchanged with my husband after an evening spent with just the two of us on our patio, something we rarely seemed to find the time to do in our busy lives. We promised each other that we’d make a concerted effort to have more of these “dates.”
The next morning, on what was supposed to be another …
Emotional Pain Doesn’t Go Away When You Numb It (with Alcohol or Anything Else)
“Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know what’s even scarier? Regret.” ~Zig Ziglar
It had been a long day at work. I’d had to work with new people, which always got my anxiety going, and had to put out a few fires. By the end of the day, I climbed into my car shaking on the outside and screaming on the inside. Sounds, light, and smells were like battering rams to my senses and my internal pressure was reaching explosive levels.
I had a prearranged dinner with my mom and sister at a local restaurant, …
Meeting Grief with Mindfulness: How Embracing Pain Opens the Door to Joy
“We shake with joy, we shake with grief. What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.” ~Mary Oliver
Mindfulness is a way of relating to our experience that opens us to the totality of it—that is, we learn to embrace it all, the joy and the heartache. But some experiences are harder to be with.
It’s difficult to be with physical or emotional pain, and we often retreat to the mind in search of distractions. But when we are able to fully be with our experience, something that feels like magic happens.
It …
To Fully Heal Your Broken Heart, Make Sure You Do This
“Grief is healthy and it is healing.” ~Richard Moss
When I was a little girl there was this belief floating around in my head that there was only one person. One person who was my soulmate. One person who could love me. I think the belief was formed by some concoction of Disney movies, religion, and American culture.
What’s worse than this belief is that I somehow found myself afraid that I wouldn’t even have one person. I was afraid I would be alone. Forever.
I don’t know when I adopted the belief that I wasn’t enough, that I …
5 Things You Need to Tell Yourself After a Painful Breakup
Have you ever experienced a breakup or divorce but still loved the other person you were saying goodbye to?
I met my ex-girlfriend on a rooftop in Istanbul. I had just sold everything I owned to travel the world, and she was a tour leader in Asia.
She was everything I had been searching for: beautiful, confident, and funny. I followed her to India and China. She followed me to Australia. When the money and visas ran out, we moved back to Canada, found an apartment, got a cat, and shared a strong, healthy relationship for over five years.
And …
How We Avoid Our Feelings and How Embracing Them Sets Us Free
“We numb our minds and heart so one need not be broken and the other need not be bothered.” ~Peggy Haymes
Feelings are important, no doubt about it. They communicate all sorts of information to us. I don’t know about you, but I’ve preferred to ignore some of that information. Raise your hand if you would much rather feel the good feelings and just jump right over the not so good ones.
Okay, so it’s unanimous. We all prefer the good, happy feelings. I expect we are all experts at finding ways to avoid the uncomfortable ones. But …
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