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Posts tagged with “present”

A Simple Question That Helps When I Feel Anxious

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“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” ~John Muir

I used to think life was like an obstacle course, a series of hurdles you either cleared or stumbled over. For a long time, I stumbled a lot.

What I didn’t realize then was how easily repeated setbacks can turn into a habit of expecting the next one. After a while, you stop living in the present and start waiting for the other shoe to drop.

After I graduated from college, I followed the path I thought I was supposed to take. I moved to Philadelphia …

What My Broken Face ID Taught Me About Being More Present

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“Every moment, every challenge, every inner reaction is here to show you exactly what you need to let go of in order to be free.” ~Michael A. Singer

The other day, while standing in the kitchen, I grabbed my phone to send a text, but it didn’t recognize my face. Suddenly, every time I wanted to use it, I had to enter my four-digit code. The whole process took no more than two seconds, yet I caught myself sighing with exasperation every time.

My reaction surprised me. Had I become so accustomed to immediacy that even such a tiny …

Why It’s So Hard to Just Rest and Why We Need to Do It

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“If you don’t give your mind and body a break, you’ll break. Stop pushing yourself through pain and exhaustion and take care of your needs.” ~Lori Deschene

In November of 2021, my autoimmune issues flared up. My doctor and I are still unsure which of my conditions—rheumatoid arthritis or fibromyalgia—was the culprit, or if they were acting in cahoots, but the overall achiness and debilitating fatigue were a solid indication that something was more active than usual.

I woke up tired, needed naps, and often ran out of spoons—a phrase familiar to many with chronic conditions, based on a gorgeous …

How I Learned to Be More Present Without Meditating

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“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

A few years ago, I moved to a new country with two children under two.

The idea had felt exciting at first—a fresh start, a new place, a life by the sea. But excitement fades quickly when you realize you don’t know a single person. No friends to call. No family nearby. No one to sit with you on a hard day and just listen.

I wasn’t prepared for that kind of loneliness. The deep, quiet kind that creeps in

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How to Be More Present Through Sound, Silence, and Stillness

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“Music gives color to the air of the moment.” ~Karl Lagerfeld

I used to think I was a good listener. I could hold eye contact, nod at the right moments, ask thoughtful follow-up questions. But one afternoon, sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat in a small studio in Rishikesh, I realized I had never truly listened to anything, not even myself.

The teacher asked us to close our eyes and simply notice the sounds around us. A ceiling fan turning slowly overhead. A dog barking somewhere down the street. My own breath, uneven and shallow. And then, beneath all of …

The Powerful Insight That Helped Me Worry Less and Sleep Again

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“Surrender is not about giving up. It is about letting go of the illusion of control.” ~Judith Orloff

Watching my mother lose her memory while I was losing mine felt like a cruel preview of my future—until I learned that stress, not genetics, was writing my story.

It was 3:47 a.m.—again. I’d been awake since 2:13, and before that I’d slept maybe ten minutes.

This had been my pattern for years: wake up shortly after falling asleep, check the clock, lie there frustrated.

Wake again, check the clock, review the day prior, and plan the next day.

But this …

Anxiety Sucks, But It Taught Me These 7 Important Things

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“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” ~Soren Kierkegaard

Let’s be clear:

This isn’t an article about positive thinking.

This isn’t an article about how silver linings make everything okay.

This isn’t an article about how your perspective on anxiety is all wrong.

The kids call those things “toxic positivity.”

No toxic positivity here.

This is an article about my lifelong relationship with anxiety and what I’ve learned from something that won’t go away. At times the anxiety spikes and feels almost crippling. I have a hard time appreciating the learning at those times, but it’s still there.

That is what …

Phone Down, Eyes Up: How to Really See the People We Love

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“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Judy was three the first time I missed it. She had spent a solid ten minutes stacking every couch cushion on our living room floor in Vancouver, building what she clearly considered an Olympic-grade landing pad. She climbed up on the couch, stretched her arms out wide, and gave me that look. You know the one. The look kids give you right before they do something that makes your heart jump into your throat.

“Baba, watch!” she yelled.

My phone was in my hand. It was …

How I Found Focus and Presence When Meditation Didn’t Work

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“Meditation is a way of being, not a technique.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I didn’t think I was someone who “couldn’t meditate.”

I had read the books. I understood the benefits. I knew, intellectually, that sitting with my breath was supposed to help me feel calmer, more present, more myself.

And yet every time I tried, something inside me tightened.

My mind raced. My body felt exposed. Stillness didn’t feel peaceful—it felt like being left alone with something that didn’t know how to hold me.

So I stopped trying.

For a long time, I assumed this meant there was something wrong …

The Cost of Chronic Stress and 6 Practical Steps to Presence

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“You are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts.” ~Amit Ray

I was in the middle of responding to my third “urgent” email of the morning when I realized I hadn’t tasted my coffee.

The cup sat there, half-empty and cold. I had no memory of drinking it.

That small moment became the crack that let the light in. Because if I couldn’t remember drinking my coffee, something I claimed to love, something I looked forward to every morning, what else was I missing?

The answer, I would soon discover, was almost everything.

The Illusion of Productive

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Planning Without Panic and Learning to Live in the Now

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“You can plan for a hundred years. But you don’t know what will happen the next moment.” ~Tibetan proverb

Some days it feels like a fog I can’t shake—this underlying fear that something painful or uncertain is just around the corner.

I try to be responsible. I try to prepare, make good choices, take care of things now so the future won’t unravel later. But beneath that effort is something harder to face: I feel helpless. I can’t control what’s coming, and that terrifies me.

Maybe you’ve felt this too—that tension between doing your best and still fearing it’s not …

How I Learned to Be Present—One Sound at a Time

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“Time isn’t the main thing. It’s the only thing.” ~Miles Davis

When I first read that quote, it hit me right in the chest. Not because it sounded profound—but because it was something I had been slowly, painfully learning over the course of a very quiet, very long year.

Time used to feel like a race. Or maybe a shadow. Or a trickster. Some days, it slipped through my fingers like water. Other days, it dragged me along like a heavy cart. But always, it was something outside me—something I was chasing or trying to escape.

I spent much of …

Stop Chasing: Finding What You Need in the Here and Now

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“Life is what happens while we’re busy worrying about everything we need to change or accomplish. Slow down, get mindful, and try to enjoy the moment. This moment is your life.” ~Lori Deschene

Are you living life in a constant pursuit—chasing happiness, freedom, comfort, or success? What if the thing you’re so desperately looking for isn’t at the finish line? What if life isn’t a race to be won? These were the questions I asked myself not long ago.

I won’t lie; answering them didn’t completely change my life overnight. I didn’t have any major breakthrough when realizing what I’m …

Why We All Need to Pause More Often and How to Do It

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“Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective.” ~Doe Zantamata

I have always been that person who just cannot seem to slow down. An overachiever? That’s putting it mildly. In every aspect of my life—work, relationships, personal goals—I have always pushed myself to the absolute limit. It is like I have this internal drive that just won’t quit.

At work, I am always the first one in and the last to leave. Deadlines? I would meet them days early. Projects? I would volunteer for extra ones, even when my plate was already full. And don’t even get me …

The Beautiful Gift of Finding Presence in The Ordinary

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“For a long time, it had seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last, it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”~Alfred D. Souza

I recently came across an old photo album from when I was in my twenties. All these snippets of my life back then—going out clubbing, those harsh Canadian winters, walking in the back field

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Are You Paying Attention to the Beauty of this World?

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“’I got saved by the beauty of the world,’ she said to me. And the beauty of the world was honored in the devotion of her attention. Nothing less than the beauty of the world has become more present, more redemptive, for more of us in the encounter with her poetry.” ~Krista Tippett, on interviewing poet Mary Oliver

The act of paying attention seems rather simple. Simply being aware of life happening all around us. And yet most of us are what we might call asleep at the wheel. We perform daily tasks and engage ourselves in human interactions without …

3 Simple Words to Help You Feel Present, Grounded, and Nourished

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“The little things? They’re not little.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

Remember Halloween, 2018? No? We wouldn’t, either, except that it happens to be the day our mindfulness journey—and our lives—changed forever.

First, some background. We (Deborah and Willow) met when our boys played on the same fifth-grade soccer team. We connected quickly through our shared love of books, writing, dogs, hiking, and strong coffee.

Something else we had in common: We were both failed meditators. To be honest, we were a bit embarrassed that we couldn’t make a mindfulness practice stick.

Thank Goodness We WEREN’T Paying Attention 

Now, back to the story. …

How I Cherished Every Beautiful Moment of My Daughter’s Short Life

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In the spring of 2012, I heard this word, “rest.” I realized how horrible I was at it. I wasn’t even sure what it was. Was it extra sleep? Was it not working on Sundays? Shortly after I heard this word, my life began changing. For one reason or another, one by one, the things with which I occupied myself were stripped away until I found myself with nothing left to hold.

A year later I was in a panic, wondering how we were going to make ends meet. Everything in me said to do what I had always done: …

How to Find Peace When Your Mind Is Restless

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“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” ~Hermann Hesse

When I work with people who are suffering from anxiety, fear, grief, or other challenging issues, I like to take them through a simple exercise I call “The Noticing Exercise.”

It’s my first port of call when helping people break free from mind-created suffering.

It’s amazing how quickly, and effortlessly, people can move from suffering to peace, simply through shifting their focus to being aware of the present moment—noticing the sensation of the body touching the chair, …

How to Free Yourself from Pain from the Past

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“There are two levels to your pain: the pain that you create now, and the pain from the past that still lives on in your mind and body.” ~Eckhart Tolle

When I read this quote, it stopped me in my tracks. So much of our pain and suffering in the present is caused by us repeating cycles and dwelling on pain from the past. We want so badly to resolve our suffering. But our search for resolution often involves repeating the painful cycles we have already been through, in the hope that someone or something will change.

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